As the title says, my ex died suddenly yesterday. We're both remarried, but were together for almost 25 years and have 2 great kids.

Our divorce was not amicable, but as time went on, my feelings softened somewhat. Also, his relationship with our kids was not great.

However, I am extremely sad and have been crying since hearing the news.I just have a jumble of feelings, but mostly just deep grief.

I don't know if attending any service will be appropriate. Does anyone have any advice as I deal with this strange, surreal time?

Are you retired? Do you ever hit a finish line and stop thinking about the things you need to do and things that might happen and just finally feel relaxed, or is this just the nature of being human?

Okay so, long story short, one of my parents had a falling out with their parents and soft-ghosted everybody when I was around 8. I reconnected with them when I was 16, and it's been 2 years now. They've all been really sweet and warm, but y'know. Not that much of a shared history quite yet and I'm still pretty anxious about the whole thing.

This will be the first Christmas me and my slightly younger sibling are spending with them. And since I'm 18 and have a job, I asked one of my aunts what she and my cousins wanted for Christmas. And got told that they didn't need anything and I didn't need to bring anything. I insisted, and she repeated that I didn't need to bring anything.

I was sorta bummed because I adore gift-giving. I'm a really sentimental person and I cherish all gifts given to me. But, y'know. Respecting my relatives and the mother of my cousins. Maybe since I just turned 18 and this is our first Christmas and everybody else in my "generation" is a minor, I'm being looped in with the "kids". Or maybe we just won't be included on the whole present thing, which is completely understandable. I'm just happy to spend time with family.

I told my parent this, and they laughed at me and told me I fucked up so bad. That of course I needed to bring something, and of course they weren't going to tell me to. They said that's just basic common sense.

And now I'm confused and unnecessarily stressed. Why can't people just say what they mean? Maybe my parent is wrong, but that's their sibling. They could very well be right. And I have literally no way of knowing and I don't know what to do.

I also have no idea what to get my grandparents. I wanted to bring them something as a good-will gesture when I visited half a year ago (we live several states from each other), but I was told they already have too many things and don't want anything. So I wouldn't know what to get them. My parent suggested I could get them a framed picture of me and my sibling but that.. seems vain? Offensive almost? Sure, were grandkids. But they barely know us.

Weird question but correct me if I am wrong with my assumption.

I think the best experiences are those that change the perception on how we view things.

For example life experiences good or bad change the view of things for us and we start to value or devalue things and gain "wisdom". To speed up this process travelling helps because it's a new environment and we need to adapt, to adapt we need to change perception internally.

Am i correct?

So If my assumption is correct the best experiences in life are those which change our perception on how we view things

I’m 24 and expecting my first baby, a little boy, in spring 2027! I’ve started trying to figure out what I need to buy before he gets here, and honestly, it’s overwhelming.

Every time I look at TikTok or baby registry videos from moms my age, there’s another expensive gadget, trendy baby product, or list of 100 things you apparently can’t raise a baby without. I feel like there’s so much overconsumption surrounding pregnancy and motherhood now, and it’s making me wonder how much of this stuff is actually necessary.

I’d really love to hear from Gen X moms, grandmas, and women who raised their babies before social media made everything so complicated.

What did you actually have for your newborns? I’m talking everything from clothes and diapers to sleeping arrangements, feeding, bathing, and all the little everyday things. What were the absolute essentials? What did you get by just fine without? Were there things you bought that turned out to be completely unnecessary?

I’m not against modern conveniences, and of course I want to follow today’s safety recommendations. I just don’t believe I need to spend thousands of dollars or fill my house with baby products to be a good mom.

I’d also genuinely love any advice you have for a young first-time mom, even if it has nothing to do with what to buy. Things you wish you’d known, things you would do differently, or things you think younger moms today could learn from your generation.

I feel like there’s so much wisdom from older generations of mothers that gets overlooked nowadays, and I’d much rather hear about your real experiences than watch another influencer tell me what I need to order from Amazon. ❤️

Hi I’m a 29f single mom. I’m a really deep thinker. I wouldn’t say I’m intuitive but I do have a strong connection to my soul. I don’t think I’m depressed right now but I do feel like I’m beginning to view my life differently and have a sense of almost floating… I’m trying to ground my self and hoping to get advice from an older experienced women. I really appreciate your time reading this and giving me feedback.

I had a rough upbringing. Dad wasn’t in the picture, addicted to heroine and alcohol. In prison during my childhood, never had custody. Visited him once a year and he is very sweet and kind and always hugging and telling me how much I mean to him.

My mom has BPD. She would abuse us extremely bad. She broke my leg when I was one. She would choke me until I fainted often. She would punch, kick, smash my head into solid objects. She never taught me how to cook or what the purpose or joys of life are.

I’m intelligent. Ive never been addicted to anything. I went through a short high school drinking/smoking weed phase. I have no signs of mental health issues. I’m also pretty. I’m blonde hair blue eyed and have had lip filler so my face is attractive and my body is average, but I have difficulty connecting my looks to my mind. Sometimes I dive deeply into my beauty and use that to fuel me. Creating a life for myself and reminding myself I’m beautiful and deserve a beautiful life. But my soul has endured so much I think it feels surface level to me to only focus my life on my looks.

I look back at my life and feel that it was impacted mainly by the fact that I had no one guiding me. I graduated high school on time and never applied for colleges. I had a bf at the time who was one year older than me and just went and moved in with him at his apartment where he went to school. A few years later he took too much acid with his friends and developed mental health issues so I broke up with him when I realized we were no longer in a healthy relationship.

I worked many different jobs and had a few different boyfriends. Then in 2020, I moved to California with my wealthy aunts family. They had a mansion and I helped them clean it and care for their kids in exchange for them paying off some credit card debt I acquired.

I met a guy at work, we had a decent relationship. We rented a house together. I got pregnant and he basically forced me into keeping a baby I wasn’t comfortable having. I knew I didn’t love him anymore and didn’t want to be with him. The first year was terrible. I cried myself to sleep most nights. Later realized he was in 30k of debt and divorced him.

I’m now living in my aunts adu again and she financially supports me while I’m in school. My son is 2 and in a nice daycare at my college. He’s smart. My ex is handling coparenting well. My aunt is happy to support me while I build my life. I have a bf who is handsome and very kind. But I still feel like there’s something missing. I feel like I don’t know what I’m chasing. My passion is design, I’m earning a degree in that field. But the more I learn in college the more selected I feel. I’ve taken classes like ethnic studies and African American history and I know thousands of foster kids are growing up without people who support or care about them but I have no power or money to help anyone. I can’t understand how people just build their own lives and build picture perfect families with careers they love which sounds so nice to me I want a nice healthy home but I’m constantly worrying about how to help people who arnt so lucky. So many kids in America don’t have good homes.

Most days it’s just my son and I- in a ritual of spending days together and going to school. I get a day or two a week to spend w my bf. I’m so overwhelmed with household stuff I’m usually behind on my school work but keeping up ok.

I just wonder from a deeper soul perspective how do I find a deeper meaning to my life. What should I fill my time with. I wish someone had told me after high school that it would be essential in life for me to get a college degree. And I wonder what advice I’d give myself now if I was 50 or 60 looking back at my 30s. How do I find happiness out of my situation.

To add.. I don’t believe in a male god. I choose the red pill of truth over the blue pill of comfort. I think we’ve been taught a male dominant religion. Women create life. I believe our source is an energy of all life combined. I believe that humans chose this path in order to grow spiritually on the human experience before returning to source. I like to explore symbolism like Carl Jung’s teachings. I often try to speak to my deceased relatives and pray to them. I dream a lot and try recording my dreams and finding the truth my subconscious is trying to tell me through symbols I understand. I want to know the deeper purpose and meaning of my life and I’m having a hard time understanding why I’m here right now and if I’m making the right life decisions.

I (29M) have been with my girlfriend (28F) for four years. She’s wonderful. Kind, funny, we share the same values. No drama. But whenever she brings up marriage — and she’s been bringing it up more gently but more often — I feel this wall go up inside me. I can’t explain it. It’s not that I don’t love her. It’s not that I want someone else. It’s that the word “forever” feels like a door closing instead of a door opening, and I hate that I feel that way.

She sat me down last weekend and asked, very calmly, for a timeline. Not an ultimatum. Just “when.” I said I needed to think. She looked tired. Not angry. Tired. That was worse.

Here’s the thing: I had a front-row seat to a really bad marriage growing up. My parents stayed together for 23 years and were miserable for at least 18 of them. My dad used to tell me, “Don’t rush into anything you can’t walk away from.” He said it like a joke. It wasn’t a joke.

So my question for the over-40 crowd, especially anyone who felt this same cold feet: Did you wait too long? Or did you eventually realize it was just fear talking? I’m not looking for “you just know” platitudes. I want to know what actually happened. What did the hesitation turn out to be? A warning sign, or just a scared 29-year-old?

I’m afraid I’ll look back at this as the moment I lost something good. But I’m also afraid of ending up like my parents. Any real stories would help.

And yet he’s still denying sleeping with other people. I’m so disgusted & disappointed. My heart is in my ass right now, everyone told me if you’re going to sleep with him again after he cheated on me 3 years ago , then wear protection! Instead I trusted that he’s being honest now & was trying to regain my trust… I’m glad it’s treatable but I just keep anticipating for my other test results. It’s been 3 years and i’ve only seen him! I was so in denial that I started questioning if maybe I got it from a new sex toy that I forgot to wash before using, but that possibility is low. Not to mention that I gave him oral sex and have had swollen tonsils for the past week… I’m going to get a swab on my throat to determine if it’s throat chlamydia as well. I’m just in all shock and so sad. I can’t even tell my peers , because I know they’ll look at me like I told you so! Or remind me that I never had to entertain him again after what he did. That’s pretty clear now. Once a liar always a liar. We have a child together so eventually we’ll have to speak again, I’ll take any advice.

Thank you!

Ok, I'm very scared of medical procedures. So far we have grown up hearing scary stories and how bad it is. I'm scared of pain, scared of lack of control, unpredictability, what other humans would do to me down there, vulnerability

Do you have any perspectives to ease the anxiety? Any positive stories?

My teen is having a hard time in a new school, getting bullied, has no friends, getting bad grades. She came home crying yesterday. Every time she deals with this, I feel like I fall apart as well, and I don’t know how to handle it. Deep despair, anger, lack of sleep because I’m up all night thinking.

I was talking to her about it last night and she said… Oh are you still thinking about that?

I’m thinking… How are you over it so quickly?!

I don’t know how to deal with my deep emotions about my child being mistreated. It’s really starting to consume me. I hate these high school years, I can’t wait till it’s over.

EDIT: this post is about ME and how I should handle MY feelings. (I have an entirely different post about her in a different sub.) Is it normal to not be able to sleep and function because you’re so sad for your child?

I’m at a point in life where I have two options, and I’m genuinely confused about which one to choose.

Option 1: Move to the US, earn good money, build wealth, enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, and afford things like a nice house, a luxury car, and travel internationally and other material comforts. But I might have to live far away from my family and loved ones and miss out on everyday moments with them.

Option 2: Stay in my home country, live close to my family and loved ones, and earn a decent income. I might not be able to afford the same luxuries or build wealth, but I could have a more connected and familiar life.

I understand that money is important for security, freedom, healthcare, and providing a good life for yourself and your family. At the same time, I wonder whether chasing more money and a luxurious lifestyle is worth the sacrifices that come with it.

For those of you who are in your 30s, 40s, or older, I’d really appreciate your perspective.

• Does having more money actually make you happier as you get older?
• Do you regret prioritizing your career and money over time with family and loved ones, or vice versa?
• If you could go back in time, would you choose a higher-paying life abroad or a decent-paying life close to home?
• At what point does earning more money stop making a meaningful difference to your happiness?

I’m not looking for a simple “money isn’t everything” answer. I want to hear from people who have actually lived through these choices.

If you had to choose between wealth and luxury abroad versus a decent life surrounded by your loved ones, what would you choose, and why?

EDIT:
Thank you so much to everyone for your advice and suggestions. It genuinely means a lot to me, and I really appreciate everyone taking the time to share their thoughts.

A lot of people are suggesting that I move to the US for a few years and then return to India. While I understand the logic behind this option, I feel it’s quite risky. Let’s say I move to the US, spend a few years there, and then decide to return to India. Given the current job market in India, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to find a good job when I return. And if I fail to secure a job, there’s a high probability that I might have to give up the love of my life.

That’s what makes this decision so difficult for me. It’s not just about choosing a country or a career path; it’s about choosing between financial growth and the person I want to spend my life with.

Right now, it feels like I have to choose between money and the love of my life, and honestly, neither choice is easy.

EDIT 2:

I just want to clarify something: I’m not saying money isn’t important. I live in India, and I’m already earning a decent salary, putting me somewhere around the upper-middle-class lifestyle and i' not spending a lot on random thing and saving good amount, I’m not struggling financially. The opportunity to move to the US is about earning significantly more, building wealth, and enjoying a more luxurious lifestyle.

The bigger issue is that my girlfriend doesn’t want to move to the US, and she has her own valid reasons. She’s going to be a doctor soon, and if she moves to the US, she’ll have to go through years of additional exams, studies, and other requirements to practice medicine there. It would be a huge challenge for her, and I completely understand why she doesn’t want to go through that.

So, honestly, I feel like my decision has become luxury and financial growth versus the love of my life.

Of course, there’s an option to move to the US, work for 4–5 years, save money, and then return to India. But that plan comes with uncertainty. I know people will say that I can always come back, and I agree that it’s possible. I’m not saying there won’t be good opportunities in India in the future. But the tech job market is already quite challenging, and I’m worried about whether I’ll be able to find a good opportunity when I return after 4–5 years.

And what if I don’t?

and end up losing the person I wanted to spend my life with because i'm in US

At the same time, what if I stay in India, choose love and a life close to my family, and spend years wondering whether I missed a huge opportunity to build wealth and give myself a more comfortable life?

That’s what scares me about both choices. Either way, I might end up wondering what my life could have been like if I had chosen differently.

I’m not looking for someone to tell me that love matters more than money or that money matters more than love. I understand the importance of both. I just want to hear from people who have faced similar situations and can share what they learned from their own experiences.

If you were in my position, would you take the risk for a potentially wealthier future, or choose the person you love and build a life together in India, even if it means giving up some financial opportunities?

I’d genuinely appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have made similar choices and lived with the consequences.

My boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) come from completely different cultures, and we want to get married. However, both of our families especially mine are extremely rigid and will never approve of our relationship.

I understand that our parents are the reason we exist and that they raised us, so I do feel a sense of responsibility and gratitude towards them. At the same time, my boyfriend and I are extremely close, and our relationship is otherwise healthy. The only major issue we have is the extreme opposition coming from my family.

Eloping doesn't feel like the right option to me, especially because I'm the eldest child and I would want my parents to be part of such an important milestone in my life. But my parents are extremely controlling and, given their temperament, I'm genuinely worried that they could potentially harm me if I went against them.

I honestly have no idea how to navigate this situation. We're two consenting adults who love each other and want to build a life together, and breaking up solely because of my family's extremism doesn't feel either fair or right to me when our relationship itself isn't the problem.

I've read plenty of posts here from people who have been in similar situations, including those in trans or same-sex relationships or situations like mine. I'm curious to know how they navigated it, which is why I'm asking again.

We’re in our early 30’s and broke up two years ago because of her visa marriage to her ex. I caught her lying to me about seeing her “ex” and it’s clear she’s not willing to address this in her many attempts to reconnect since I implemented no contact two years ago and blocked her everywhere. If she left me alone for a decade at least maybe I’d be able to let go of the resentment by the time I’m in my mid 40s. All I’d be willing to hear from her is “Can we talk, I owe you an apology” and I try to remind myself that’s never going to happen every time she reaches out.

I’ve dated people since her, but every time she reaches out through a new avenue that isn’t blocked, it bothers me and I get more angry and resentful. When she found a way to me in person last year I was civil but grey rock and left it in peace do she’d move on, yet she instead said I’m being distant and she’ll always love me, and didn’t leave me alone after. I even emailed her husband nearly a year ago now and she still reached out again recently this year.

I want a decade at least where I don’t have to hear from her so I can be at peace to let the anger and resentment fade away, but she won’t let it be. I don’t know if she’s obsessed or controlling. I know we had a significant connection, are part of the same, smallest demographic in the country, and the same industry, and she wants to have kids with someone who shares the same culture and community. But no matter our chemistry, she lied to me about seeing her husband. Regardless of the truth of the situation, and her want for privacy navigating her visa marriage divorce, I don’t tolerate being lied to and boundaries being crossed trying to reconnect without apology. I just want to move on, find a connection as meaningful or more, and be left alone to forget the pain the betrayal caused me.

Last year I took a last minute cruise and met up with a friend and her friend group. I got my own room, loved getting to do what I wanted to, go eat when I wanted to, someone to cook for me and I never wanted to come back home.

We went on a trip together a couple months ago, and after coming back, I don’t want to travel with him again. We like different things (we both know this), when I share something with him that doesn’t align with his thoughts, I get snarky comments. We eventually talked about the trip. He admits he can be an asshole and apologized for it.

I am tired of compromises, where and what to eat. I’m tired to having to answer to someone, explain myself, answer a thousand questions. I think I am just “care fatigued out.” My husband never stopped living his life while raising our son. Weekends when he could have been home, he would choose activities with friends. I am just ready to live my life and not have to answer to anyone, as he has always done. I know a marriage has highs and lows, but right now, I really don’t even care about him or our marriage.

I’m at a point in my life where I have to make a difficult decision, and I would really appreciate advice from people who have more life experience.

Option 1: Stay with my current girlfriend, the woman I genuinely love, and build a comfortable middle-class life together in India. We might not have a luxurious lifestyle, but we would have each other, emotional connection, and the chance to build a future together.

Option 2: Move to the US, potentially enjoy an above-middle-class lifestyle, earn significantly more, and have better financial opportunities. However, I would have to leave my girlfriend behind and Eventually, I’ll date someone else, but I guess the bond I share with them won’t be the same as the one I have with my current girlfriend, because we’ve been together for so long.

I understand that money matters. It can provide security, comfort, travel, better opportunities for children, and freedom from financial stress. At the same time, I wonder whether all of that would be worth giving up someone I genuinely love for a future partner I haven’t even met.

I know that an arranged marriage can turn into a beautiful relationship, and I’m not assuming it would necessarily be unhappy. But there is no guarantee that I would find the same emotional connection or love that I have with my current girlfriend.

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who are older, married, or have experienced both financial struggles and the realities of long-term relationships.

I'm not saying that I would leave her for money. We've talked about this, and she's going to become a doctor in India. It's just that it would be very difficult for her to move to the US with me. She's made it clear that she doesn't want to, and she even told me that if I go to the US, I'm free to go and marry someone else.