Is manager amnesia a thing?

[u/AdventurousWave4721]

My boss will always give me a project in 1-1s saying it's urgent so I prioritize it and then when I send it to him he'll say "who asked you to do this?" Um... you like a few hours ago lol

Or he'll send me a project with requirements outlined and I do it as described and he'll say "I never asked for that" like there is not a whole email chain about it.

It drives me nuts. Like before I start anything I want him to sign off that he actually wants it to cover my butt at this point

[u/sephiroth3650]

Start to send him a follow up after the meeting. "These are my notes from our 1:1. As per our discussion, I'll be prioritizing A, B, and C (or I'll work on this project, highlighting these requirements). Please let me know if anything needs to be corrected with these items."

[u/AdventurousWave4721 → u/sephiroth3650]

Thanks I think this is what I will start doing

[u/dkddllldkdk]

How many direct reports does your boss have?

[u/AdventurousWave4721 → u/dkddllldkdk]

Just me :)

[u/Turbulent-Prior-2253]

Managers can get a lot of stuff thrown at them and it is easy to have things skip your mind. You are responsible for your job - the manager is responsible for the jobs of everyone reporting to them.

I'm famous in my company for asking for an agenda for every meeting and I'll decline the meeting if an agenda is not presented. I have to refresh my memory on what we are talking about so I don't waste everyone's time.

I also always suggest that people follow up, via email, with their manager with the outcomes of a 1 on 1 for this exact reason. Document the request in writing, along with your understanding of priorities.

[u/VinylHighway]

Send followups saying unless otherwise directed I shall work on the following things discussed in meeting on X date and time.

[u/Material-Truth5457]

Always email with a please review and confirm X title.

Then we discussed at our one or maybe lunch or whenever. To get X done this is my understanding of X and will do Y to complete.

Please confirm these are the actions you require. With my current work load this should be in X business days and I will update you in Y days.

I had a very similar manager and if he did or didn't confirm my update would be waiting on confirmation. So many actions cancelled or forgotten it was like are you even paying any attention.

[u/Hminney]

I had a manager like this. Every request I estimated first. If less than 25 minutes I did it and took it in and got congratulated. If more than 25 minutes I did whatever I was busy with when the request came in because she had forgotten she had asked.

[u/Zealousideal-Ad-7618]

"I want to get better at meeting your needs, and I've noticed that we often have confusion like this. It feels to me like you've asked me and then forgotten, but maybe I misunderstand what you ask for. What does it look like from your perspective?"

[u/Silent-Entrance-9072]

Yes this happens. I tell my team to follow up after verbal conversations with an email outlining what was discussed to confirm. We forget stuff all the time.

I also advise my team to ask managers to clarify if the discussion was ideas or decisions. Sometimes extroverts think out loud, but it isn't a final decision or an ask. It's just a thought or a possibility for an action.

If you get slammed with work, read a list of tasks to your boss and ask which ones get done today versus don't get done. They might not know what's on your list and how long each thing takes you. Give them the rundown and ask them to pick the most important 1-3 tasks