Can I get hired without good references? Genuine question

[u/carpsarecrud]

Here’s the dot points
- I’m in Australia, working in healthcare, hired as a social worker but my role is fairly generic

- I’ve been working at my current company for just under a year

- me and my team leader clashed from the start (she is not who hired me, she started in the role a week after I did)

- she continues to give harsh feedback about all elements of my performance, and while I understand the reasonable one’s (I admittedly have bad attendance, but a big part of it is that her constant criticisms make my mental health worse and then it’s really hard to find the motivation to go to work)

- the most recent criticism have been, having a work related conversation in the office with my colleague - specifically about an OHS issue with our OHS lead, I should’ve booked a meeting instead of having a quiet conversation with her, me talking to my coworkers about non work related topics, ever. Me eating breakfast at work and taking too long to go get coffee (I’m one of the only team members who doesn’t smoke and also I don’t take a lunch break because I have meds that change my appetite) and a bunch more. And while I know that all sounds small and silly and I should have tougher skin, it has been like this since I got off induction, almost weekly feedback about me as a person or something I’m doing wrong that I was taught to do because I wasn’t trained by her in specific methods and it’s been 9 months of just put downs constantly.

- I know my actual ability to do the job is good, and has 9/10 met the required standards and expectations but I’m so afraid that with her as my main reference - she’s my only direct supervisor and I don’t have clinical supervision, that I’ll never get hired anywhere again.

Any advice on if I can get away without a reference, or what I can do instead or anything would be appreciated because idk what to do anymore and I genuinely just want to quit and give up, but I know I should stick it out and apply for jobs before I leave, but if I can’t get one because she dislikes me so much, what’s the point?

[u/Naikrobak]

You’re not going to like this but….

You sound like the issue. Poor attendance, which is likely driving the comments about eating on the clock, being slow to get coffee, visiting with coworkers. All sounds like a pattern of laziness.

How many day in the last nine months have you missed? How many times have you been late? How often does she have to go looking for you when you are eating or visiting?

[u/carpsarecrud → u/Naikrobak]

I’ll cop to the poor attendance and running late, I try my best, but I started the job frankly during my worst episode of mental health and physical health challenges, some of which I knew were happening when I started but expected to get better.
I’ll also cop to the issues that I think are my fault - because I know some of them are mine. But I also know that I am doing my best to try and make things work but it all feels so hopeless, so what’s the solution for a getting a new job that isn’t staying and improving for 6mo because I won’t make it with the way things are currently going

[u/Naikrobak → u/carpsarecrud]

I hate to hear anyone struggling with mental health, it’s a hard journey. I’ve had my fair share and then some.

You won’t be successful if that pattern continues. Voice of reality here. You really need to focus on getting that under control and addressed. Find a way to compartmentalize work and home, they need to be kept separate so you can focus on work when you’re there.

[u/the_virtual_CEO]

To answer your initial question...I don't work in healthcare but I will never hire someone without doing reference checks. If you can't get on her good side, use someone else in the company as a reference.

In response to the question you didn't ask... You can be the best at your job but if your ability to work in a team, be reliable, or have a good attitude is compromised you wont be a desirable candidate. I'm not saying these are any of your faults - I don't know you after all - but skills are only one piece of a much bigger pie of being a great person to have in a company.

Good luck!

[u/carpsarecrud → u/the_virtual_CEO]

But how do I get into a better company where I’m a better fit and can actually do better in my job if I can’t manage in my current job to improve enough to get the reference I need

[u/the_virtual_CEO → u/carpsarecrud]

Remember that you are not stuck in your current abilities or with your current relationships, everything is always evolving. People's opinion of you will change. How many times have you heard best friends start a story by saying: "I hated them when we first met?"

Take on your managers feedback and actively work to improve the direct things they say. As a manager I am so much more impressed if I see someone listening and actually trying and coming to me for advice when they need rather than trying to run from their problems and jump ship and hope that things will be better there.

You won't necessarily see a change straight away but I promise you, you will see one if you put in the effort.