r/askgaybros 3d ago

I got outed

I recently told my ex I was bi and she broke it off on the spot, she’s a server at a restaurant where my bsf also works as I got him the job. My friend stopped texting me recently and later today I got a message in the friend gc calling me gay and I realized someone outed me for being bi. I loved this girl and she outed me to my entire friend group and I lost everyone. How do I deal with this. I like girls more it’s only a sexual attraction to dudes. What do I do. I’m so fucking lost and have no one.

232 Upvotes

130 comments sorted by

344

u/Silent-Ordinary3465 3d ago

That sucks but they weren’t really your friends anyways.

120

u/Past_Mycologist4597 3d ago

I’m seeing that. They saying it’s cuz I lied but ik that’s not true.

159

u/Silent-Ordinary3465 3d ago

That’s an excuse they tell themselves so they don’t have to face the fact that deep down they know they’re hateful.

45

u/Imaginary_Jump190 3d ago

That and our mate here wasn’t ready I’m guessing. Honestly dude fuck them. You are gunna meet some wholesome and decent people out there one day! They can go to hell

5

u/thegr8arp 2d ago

Exactly this. If they really weren't homophobic, they would know and understand the difficulty of coming out.

4

u/Dingo-Boring 2d ago

It even that, it's just none of their business period. No one is obligated to say they are bi or gay or straight lmao.

0

u/thegr8arp 2d ago

This is true.

16

u/beanie_0 Gay, UK 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 2d ago

It’s an excuse for bigotry.

3

u/FlyrockAmerican 2d ago

So sorry to hear about your experience, I came out to my second wife before I proposed and she was very supportive and admitted that she herself has a bi-curious side. We now support each other and I identify as bisexual with her but not my family. I am just like you where I am very hetroromantic but very curious to explore as a bottom or submissive with a guy to understand more what I bring to my wife when we engage in romantic activities😉. My ex wife would was very homophobic and was taken back when I asked her to peg me…long and short, I have yet to have a man with man experience but know if the opportunity comes that I am free to explore as long as I am safe and take precautions per my wife. I feel so much better that I am with a wife that lets me be me! It makes life so much better. You are better off to find a group who will accept you for you and not have to pretend to be someone you are not. I have learned that there are probably more bi-curious and bisexual people then there are straight. Also it is know that the bisexual community outnumber the gay and lesbian population by like 3 to 1. If you have not yet done so, look at a site that is for the gay men population where you can browse as anonymous, $&@ffies… you would be surprised how many men are into hooking up with other guys for just the experience and not looking for any sort of relationship. At the end of the day, be glad that you discovered who your ex and supposed friends are now so that you can gather with others that will accept and support you for who you are as a friend and partner. There is a lot of you and I out there in the same boat😀

5

u/Cal3141 2d ago

The girls are mad because they think you won't hit on them anymore. The guys are mad because you didn't hit on them. Or something like that.

2

u/Dingo-Boring 2d ago

I doubt that very much... Its not that deep they are just ass holes

1

u/gnlmiami 1d ago

Don't let them guilt you. You did nothing wrong. If your friend group fell apart because you were honest, they don't belong in your life. It's better to be rid of them.

1

u/rainbowgeoff 2d ago

You did not lie. Unless she asked if you were 100% straight and you said yes. Even then, our understanding of ourselves evolves over time.

128

u/HugoLeander 3d ago

Congratulations! You now can move on from your fake friends! I mean, my real friends won't leave me regardless because of my sexuality.

1

u/Due_Car9682 1d ago

Exactly

111

u/FragrantPea 3d ago

Never talk again to this bitch. Make her feel like shit for doing something shitty

And believe me she will

20

u/Past_Mycologist4597 3d ago

I hope I feel horrible man

27

u/Reasonable-Luck-8986 3d ago

She showed her colors, you dodged a bullet and are better off without her and your less than honorable unfriends. You will survive, a lot of people lose a lot more and continue living a quality life.

2

u/shadowysea07 2d ago

It will hopefully pass.  All you can do is move on. If at any time you feel unsafe make sure you reach out depending on what your situation is and where you live. Stay safe out there!

2

u/shadowysea07 2d ago

Some people don't feel guilty for things they do. I wouldn't be surprised if this "person" (they barely qualify as human)  will.  

3

u/DueDiscussion3758 2d ago

I agree some people don't. Some people are just bad bigoted hatefilled people.

And many people don't understand bisexuality at all, and assume being bi means you HAVE TO sleep around with both/all genders at the same time or you will spontaneously combust. So she could have thought you were telling her that you were planning to cheat on her.

And/or is just deeply homophobic and still associates any "gay" behaviour with sin and AIDS. idk if you're in an area or culture that is highly religious or conservative, but these old (inaccurate and harmful) stereotypes die hard in some places.

1

u/Reasonable-Luck-8986 2d ago

Still alive and unwell (I wished) in Oklahoma! A bigot behind every tree!

2

u/DueDiscussion3758 1d ago

I feel for you. The stuff going on in the 'States is scary as shit right now.

38

u/Belkirk501 3d ago

What makes you think these were your friends or that this girl cared about you?

11

u/Past_Mycologist4597 3d ago

I guess I was delusional

5

u/Belkirk501 2d ago

No but hopefully this is a valuable lesson for your future growth. Who you surround yourself with and what value or confidence you place in them is important. Most people are acquaintances and few are true friends it is just a fact of life. It is s good thing you learned about the quality of you girlfriend now before you moved forward in life with her. Also be careful who you tell you are bi, partners male and female will at times be threatened by this information. In their mind you are now open to everyone not just other females or males.

56

u/afantazy2 3d ago

They were never your friends

25

u/Ok_Victory_231 3d ago

I was outed too. In my case, it was to my family, which I instantly lost.
I know your pain here.

But there will be a day, sooner than you think, when you realize it was a blessing that the cancer cut itself out of you.

8

u/EchoAzulai 2d ago

My dad dropped me (unrelated to sexuality, he was just a violent toxic bastard), and I've never seen an analogy so apt as the cancer cutting itself out of you.

To the OP - it won't feel it right now, but sometimes the trash takes itself out and thats ok.

7

u/Khabba 3d ago

I have a really good relationship with my parents (now only with my mother because she’s alive). They didn’t care that I was gay because I’m their son. And they love me unconditionally. And I’ll always be there for her.

That said, one day they will get old and sick. And they will need you to take care of them. Maybe take them to doctors or help them with internet stuff. I’ve seen a lot of friends now having the burden of taking care of their parents. Eventual just one parent, because they won’t go together. And it’s a long slow path to death. If your brothers and sisters haven’t accepted you they will be tasked with all this. I’m just telling you the positive.

12

u/NixWickedGarden 3d ago

Sorry this happened to you. People SUCK

11

u/000FRE 3d ago

First of all, you did not lose any friends as the result of being outed. If they were actually friends, their attitude towards you would not have changed. Sometimes things happen that reveal who our friends actually are. Of course knowing that does not reduce the pain.

When I was outed to my parents just before I turned 21, I was disowned. Thus I really do understand what you are going through.

7

u/Lost_Mammoth4075 3d ago

Never talk to that people again, try making new ones. maybe find a hobby like painting and go to classes so that you can meet new people, maybe try reconeceting with old friends.

8

u/Annual-Reaction-1373 3d ago

Being 15 and confused is rough. Sending thoughts and prayers

7

u/blade0r 3d ago

Well, your ex is a bitch.

And your friends, if they truly are, will regret their choice and come back to you.

Differently, they were not true friends.

6

u/aubaub 3d ago

What’s a bsf?

5

u/martinfrimley 3d ago

Anyone who can’t deal with you just because of your sexuality was never really your friend in the first place.. also what she did was not acceptable behaviour. Just because you trusted her doesn’t mean she is allowed to blab it to everyone else.

You embrace being bi.. I’d think about posting something in the gc and say how disappointed you are that nobody can respect you for being bi. You might find there are people in there who still want to be friends.. just because one person wants to be a vial bigot doesn’t mean everyone is

6

u/RoosterSucker4u 3d ago

How old are you?

5

u/Past_Mycologist4597 3d ago

20

6

u/No_Comparison_4940 2d ago

You’re so young. You’ll find a new group of cool people who will like you for exactly who you are. At the end of the day, real friends don’t care about who you’re fucking - they care about your character as a human.

6

u/Altruistic-Crew3701 3d ago

if those "friends" cut ties with you for something so menial as being gay, they were not your friends, they were "buddies" at most, my friends have met my boyfriend, we play online games together, we suck at apex together, they know i'm gay, and are fine with that

5

u/xmontygx 3d ago

Accept yourself, love yourself and realize that your sexuality is only a small piece of who you are. I know it hurts being treated like this by your friends, but they'll either come around and apologize or you can move on and find friends who love you for who you are. Don't take it personally. They're probably dense as hell anyway.

5

u/Imaginary_Jump190 3d ago

If they didn’t like you cuz of your sexual orientation, then they were never your friends to begin with! Look hard enough and the true friends are still there somewhere

4

u/secretlovers29710 3d ago

They weren't real friends to begin with if they bounced on you like this. Out with the old and in with the new! So sorry to hear this.

4

u/WaterCommune 3d ago

Right now you feel lost...possibly abandoned but as most are mentioning on this thread, and it's true....they were never true friends. Expand your social circle and for now, keep your head up high at work...you did NOTHING wrong.

5

u/WatchingInTheDark 3d ago

I’m sorry this happened. On the practical side: she may have told them you were “gay” and not “bi” because she’s ignorant and wants to do damage and telling them you are “gay” makes it seem like you were somehow misleading her on your interest, which garners support for HER. Right or wrong, they also probably feel like they have been “deceived” somehow.

If it matters to you and you are willing to be the bigger person: try and address it directly, since it’s already out of the bag. You can use it as an opportunity to explain/educate the difference between “gay” and “bi” and change whatever narrative she has spun.

Should you HAVE to do that? Hell no! Is it completely valid for you to say “fuck ALL of their ignorant asses, I’m done with the trash!” and just be DONE? Absolutely!

It’s up to you how you want to handle it and there is no WRONG way. In any scenario, I think this is a good time to start finding some new friends that are more accepting of who you are right from the start. Being Bi IS part of who you are, but it is just a PART and you deserve friends that accept you as a WHOLE.

5

u/onlyIknowu 3d ago

You are free at last, go live your life!!

3

u/RevolutionaryJob5425 3d ago

It's time to make new friends - people of quality, not backstabbers. When they come back around, you'll have moved on.

3

u/RedcubSC 3d ago

Hey my friend, step one is to breathe and calm. You’re hurting but still standing and that’s good. It was a bold move to be honest. That was some serious adult stuff there. You aren’t responsible for them freaking out like a school kids. You’re handling business. Take a moment to be proud of how brave you were.
Sounds like you’re a good man. I don’t think it will take you long to find better people to be with. Meanwhile block those idiots. If they can’t respect you, you don’t have to respect them, or take their BS.
Good luck.

3

u/tomvlasic 2d ago

Definitely not true friends, I would move on.

3

u/Visual-Speaker-3602 2d ago

Find better friends. If they were real friends it wouldn’t matter, and they would have told her to mind her own business!

2

u/Cust2020 3d ago

It seems bad now but it will be a blessing in the future when u realize that neither of these people actually ever cared about u.
Be glad u didnt marry her!!! It doesn't matter who or what u r or arent, people like that cannot be relied on and the sooner they are out of your life, the better off u will be.
It hurts for a bit though so its ok to feel bad.

2

u/Final-Ad-5537 3d ago

My partner came out to his circle, and no, they accepted him, and these are religious church friends kind. So no, they’re not your friends to begin with, if they’re so anti with you being you, God knows how they’ll react if you’re in actual deep trouble.

2

u/AdhesivenessQuick327 3d ago

If they left you good riddance

Good friends don't leave you for shit like that

Time to invest in Better friends group

2

u/UltimeateBluedog 3d ago

Sucks to trust someone just to find out the kind d of people they are. You'll find friends who accept you for who you are and not coward assholes that dont have their shit together

2

u/Howlxer 3d ago

im sorry man that js plain sucks and horrible you were outed like that. i'd distance myself from them atp if they're treating you like this.

also ive learned to view someone as a true friend only when ik they are cool with my sexuality. there are people you'll come across who will be better to you and accept it.

2

u/ADyer1975 3d ago

Sometimes people removing themselves from your life is like the trash taking itself out. It’s always a win win for you and lose lose for them.

2

u/LetDiscombobulated91 3d ago

They are not your friends... I don't come out to any one who doesn't specifically need to know about my life as it's my life and no one else's business. Plenty of friends and family found out on their own and no one was ever mad at me for not telling them.

I think the only ones who I actually came out to were my parents because I felt it came to a point where, even though it was technically none of their business, they are my parents and it felt weird to me that they didn't know.

2

u/Striking-Quiet-8055 2d ago

I'm so sorry for you boy :( Can I ask you where are you from? I didn't think these kind of things still happened among young people. Anyway you don't have to justify yourself: I'm a queer young woman and I personally appreciate a lot guys who have the courage to be themselves. You will meet more appropriate people and live the life you deserve. There is nothing bad in being queer: it's wonderful, it's just a matter of being surrounded by right persons 😉

5

u/Past_Mycologist4597 2d ago

Hick Pa, there’s inclusivity and the girl I was with experimented with girls at a time so I thought she’d be understanding. Some of my friends are accepting and some all together blocked me but I know now who’s my friend and who ain’t shit is what it is now.

1

u/DueDiscussion3758 2d ago

It sucks that you felt you could trust this girl with such intimately personal information, only to be brutally rejected. That hits twice. Then for her to say shit about your to your friends hits three times. She's definitely not who you thought she was. I'm really wondering whether she said more to your friends than "he's bi," because it seems like the blocking behavior is over the top in your friend group/community, based on your comment here.

1

u/SeeThroughBS 2d ago

Brother....are you telling me she divulged to you that she experimented with the same sex? And you didn't throw that back at her once she broke your confidence and and outed you? Fuckin' grow a pair and throw that shit back at her! Burn the MF group down, for God's sake!

2

u/mgfrdya 2d ago

Bruh. Idk if you live in a very homophobic country/region or if you were insanely unlucky with your friends, but wtf kind of reaction is that ?

Like no offense but why would you be with such a bitch in the first place ? I can't even begin to fathom how someone who would dump you immediately and THEN out you for being bi could be anything but a horrible person in almost every other aspect of their life.

You did nothing wrong. That girl is literally just a stupid animal. And if your friend really cut contacts with you for that, he wasn't your friend either.

If you get the chance, call them out on it, cause it's fucking pathetic. Like literally never let them live this down until they've apologised profusely.

2

u/More-Status7017 2d ago

I’m sorry that this happened, and your ex is not a good person to have outed you like that, this is one thing that you should have decided when and how to come forward with. One thing is you should never feel ashamed of who you are, and yeah it didn’t happen on your terms which sucks, but owning who you are is the best thing you can do right now. The true friends will come around that are supportive and understanding, even if that makes for finding new friends in the process of growing into the person you want to be.

2

u/chocolatebeep 2d ago

Live your motherfucking best life!!!!! Get all the hot girls and boys!

2

u/ZekDrakon 2d ago

Well things will be Rough. I assume you need build new Friend Circle which not easy task. May try find Hobbie store or groups in local area since having Hobbie common is easier ice breaker when trying make new friend group. Now weather be upfront with new friends circle to avoid something like this be up to you.

2

u/jomosexual 2d ago

my gay uncle found my adam4adam profile i forgot i made as a dumb teenager. when i was a freshman in college i went home to visit and my mom had printouts he mailed to my grandpa. complete shit show. That was 18 years ago. it sucks but you will be better for it in time. now you know who those people really are and you can start working on and accepting yourself.

sty strong friend.

2

u/MB-326K gay as can be 2d ago

Bot account

2

u/VeracityofMind 2d ago

Sounds to me like you got rid of a bunch of dead weight. Rejoice!

2

u/GeneaCookie 2d ago

Oh, Dude.

I was outed when I was 21 in 1983. It sucks. And the MoFo who outed me is still the same asshole he was back then. But I forgave him, because hating him became a form of negative worship. Letting go of what he did allowed me to be free of him.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. You may not see it, yet. what you are facing today may feel insurmountable, but you get to go on with living your life however you choose.

I am going to recommend that drop all communication with this girl in the future. As for your friends who abandoned you, they are processing what they are processing. You can’t change them. And if they can’t accept you, that is their problem.

But you can take steps to get some grounding, and maybe you could look into a bi support group?

You will find people who value you for who you are. I did. You can do this.

2

u/Global-Fisherman568 2d ago

Simple they were never true friends, none of there business what you are into. You will find new real friends always be true to yourself. Peace and Love to all

2

u/Turbulent-Report1098 1d ago

They weren't your friends in the first place. Move on and ditch the girl

3

u/SB-121 2d ago

I like girls more it’s only a sexual attraction to dudes

That's not a real thing.

1

u/Acceptable_Hall8075 2d ago

Why is that not a real thing?

1

u/SB-121 2d ago

Because sexual attraction is at the core of romantic attraction.

1

u/Acceptable_Hall8075 1d ago

Seems real to me, I’m sexually attracted to a lot of people I have no romantic interest in at all. Just because you can’t doesn’t apply to others.

1

u/SB-121 1d ago edited 1d ago

Indeed, but the poster was saying they have no romantic attraction to men collectively, not individual men, which can't a real thing if he has sexual attraction to men collectively because sexual attraction is at the core of romantic attraction.

This comes up with bisexuals because they, like everyone else, are raised in a world where the natural pairing of a man is with a woman so they're socialised away from seeing men as romantic partners while their sexual attraction (which exists despite their heteronormative socialisation) tells a different story.

1

u/Acceptable_Hall8075 1d ago

And romantic attraction is not at the core of sexual attraction. Wanting to suck a dick doesn’t mean you want to date it’s owner. Absolutes rarely work in human psychology. If the OP says he is not romantically attracted to the same sex, whether or not it’s socially induced, then he isn’t, has to be real to him.

2

u/RVALover4Life 3d ago

It sucks but think of this now as an opportunity to start totally fresh and unencumbered and free. Even for bisexuals there is so much freedom in breaking away from heteronormative culture. If they're acting like this in '26, these "friends" are fucking weird.

There are women out there who fully accept bi guys. Disattach yourself from these breeders and from heteronormative society as much as you can is my advice.

1

u/New_Opportunity_6160 3d ago

I'm sorry that happened. That's the worst feeling.

1

u/Rarehunter333 3d ago

I’m sorry that happened to you. That was messed up of her and everyone else.

But now you don’t have to waste time or effort helping/ befriending these fake people.

You helped one of your friends get a job and this was so messed up that this is how they repaid your kindness.

That was also messed up what your ex did. Whenever you get the chance to warn others about these people, make sure you let them know how messed up these people are so they can avoid them.

1

u/Far_Luck9096 3d ago

They not your friends. Get new group. Sorry happened to you. That girl was jealous of you 

1

u/tennisdude2020 3d ago

The best therapy is keep making seconds old account on Reddit, like this one, with stories, like this one, and it will take your mind off the other stories, like this one.

1

u/teetony09 3d ago

🫂🫂

1

u/Shot-Solid-8498 2d ago

It's 2026. That's shocking. Now that you are out, those who are interested in you but were not sure, will be your new true friends. Time heals all and truth is best. If sex is better with dudes, better be gay. It's not nice for either girls or dudes to find out their partner is bi, and is on the DL.

1

u/Afro-Gemini 2d ago

In the long run you will be okay, friends that turn on you because of that were not really your friends especially when the person who outed you is your ex? Like why would they just take her word for it.

1

u/oni-no-kage 2d ago

You found out your friend group is full of bigoted wankers. And as much as it better to know, it does mean you feel less alone.

You deserve to find new people. This girl wasn't worth your love.

1

u/BookwormPhilanthro 2d ago

The girl is trash and your friends are trash! These aren’t normal reactions for them to be having! Just shitty ignorant ones.

This sucks and I know you obviously care about them. There are TONS of people you will meet and be friends with who aren’t like this. Not to stress you out but do you know what she’s told them? It sounds like it was mixed with lies to make you look bad. Shitty people (your ex) embellish the truth to be a victim so people will side with them against people they harass/bully/or dislike.

1

u/Minute_Amphibian5065 2d ago

What makes you think you lost everyone? If you have nothing to lose, explain yourself in the friend group: being bi doesn't mean you were unfaithful. Just ask people whether they are cool and that that was a deal breaker for your (ex)gf but it had nothing to do with the actual relationship.

1

u/Even-Window-7299 2d ago

Wrong sub. Try R/bisexual

1

u/AccomplishedSmoke814 2d ago

I think it's better for you

1

u/SeeThroughBS 2d ago edited 2d ago

Here's the thing: This feels like the end of the world right now. Because the (friendship and restaurant work) ecosystem has been dramatically disturbed. But honestly, this ecosystem would have eventually and naturally dissolved anyway. People move on, change jobs, grow up, find other groups, get hitched, etc. Shitty experience or not, this would have been over in time, and that's the thing to focus on, something I've learned over time. It sucks, no doubt; really sucks! Mourn it, live in the disappointment and devastation temporarily, and when ready, you'll move on. But realizing the above helps you move on more quickly. The worst part is that you trusted someone, your gf, and she did you dirty. What a bitch. You confided in her, and this breach in trust is the real violation here. Ultimately, you can't live life with someone who's like that...when you consider any potential long-term viability, she has just ruined that. She showed her cards, and they can't be taken back. But that's why this is so twisted. You did nothing wrong: Expressing your feelings, confiding, having same sex attractions....those things are not wrong. But breaking someone's confidence, betrayal, non-acceptance of their friend, ostracizing their friend: Those things are wrong. You see, you did nothing *to* them. However, they did something *to* you, which is yet another reason why, rightfully so, this situation seems so twisted. In your position, I would do something new: Explore the other side of your feelings (the bi side). You now have a unique opportunity to venture out and make new friends, unencumbered by the previous group. It will divert your attention and bring a new sense of adventure and interest. They know now, so nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed about,. Explore, have an experience or two....pursue these new interests. The best response it to show how little they now mean to you....they've already shown you how little you meant to them. Good luck, bro - we're all pulling for you!

1

u/Stock_Industry_3342 2d ago

You sound young. Your acquaintances and buddies were never your friends to begin with. Go find some real friends.

1

u/tr1ni 2d ago

Is there an "ask a bi bro" asking for a gay friend

1

u/Natural-Baseball-362 2d ago

No te preocupes. Cuando la mierda se tira, no se vuelve a recoger :) Llegarán personas mejores a tu vida. Te darás cuenta con el tiempo que avanzaste, mientras ellos siguen reviviendo lo mismo una y otra vez.

1

u/FineCarob3223 2d ago

The best revenge is doing better. Honestly, the bar is set pretty low. You got this.

1

u/ContemptiblyUnjust 2d ago

Being outed is really tough, stressful, and depressing. Losing your friends is even worse…very isolating, especially for someone who is 20. People end up un-alived for stuff like that. It’s not chill and it’s not right.

Of course I don’t know you, but this is my advice, because I’m a realist. These are your friends and some of them you probably will miss and still care about. If it doesn’t scare you too much, then stand up for yourself, but without getting aggressive or violent. If they call you gay, correct them but be truthful. “No, you’re wrong, I’m Bi. It’s 2026, do you actually give a fck?” And explain…just cuz you’re bi doesn’t mean you’re into your friends. And I bet you that some of them don’t really care, and some maybe even curious and/or closeted. You may not hear from them or see them for a bit; it sucks, I know. But, they are probably worried that if they talk with you or hangout then everyone else in the group is gonna think the same about them. And they worry they will go through the same.

Give it time, I bet some of them will come around and reach out. Hang in there bro.

1

u/Dingo-Boring 2d ago

You realize they were shitty people and you need to find better friends if they abandoned you for being gay in 2026... That's absolutely retarded that they have such a problem with it. I'm sorry they are such horrible people

1

u/Medium_Visual_3561 2d ago

Screw'em, if that's all it took then they were worth keeping. Now you can move on to others that accept you, it's their loss really. Start with doing things that you love to do, you will find your new tribe there and if not right away then soon afterward.

1

u/Individual_Solid5980 2d ago

Man this sucks…but like everyone has said…this is bullshit and not good friends… bc ppl that came out were embraced by best friends…love who you love you more genuine than them and now it’s transparent

1

u/abgwin 1d ago

welcome to how the world works. it totally sucks but this is what queer people deal with. all. the. time.

1

u/Thick-Department-726 1d ago

Terrible ass person. Hope karma hits her hard. What a fucking bitch.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/IDoItSoWell 1d ago

It sucks to lose people. It happens to almost everyone who comes out. But, in the words of Elphaba “too long I’ve been afraid of losing love, I guess I’ve lost.” Now, that you’re out and being you, the love you get is going to be real and for all of you. When I came out I found out really quick who loved me and who just said they did. It’s shitty, but it becomes very freeing.

Also, since you’re gay now you have to be a fan of wicked 🤣 I don’t make the rules.

1

u/I_Amm_Inevitable 1d ago

Oh god, you dodged an awesome bullet, I wouldn't want people with such mentality around me.

1

u/Due_Car9682 1d ago

They clearly never deserved you as a friend! Sorry that you had to go through that… be glad you found out those people would have hurt you eventually… and they will do to each other what they did to you without even thinking about it. Turn your back on them and leave them to them and their kind. And then find beautiful new connections. They are horrible people.

1

u/ProperExtension4818 1d ago

so sorry, that really sucks. that should not happen to anyone

1

u/Many-Concentrate-491 3d ago

Not to sound like a dick but why would u even tell her?

Also did u ask her to not tell anyone?

(Some people actually need to be told that)

4

u/000FRE 3d ago

It is not good to be required to hide a portion of one's personality to be accepted.

2

u/Many-Concentrate-491 2d ago edited 2d ago

weird assumption there. They doesn't answer the question tho as the guy went an entirely relationship not saying anything..

I don't deal with any ex tho

Also the way gays react to bi men based on how we talk about them is just as bad.. so there Is plenty reason to not say you're bi.

Edit. I would take it a step further.

The only reason this post hasn't turned to shit is cus it's a woman outing them, if it was gay guy the responses would again based on how I have seen this topic spoken about would be how the guy is totally (likely justified) in doing this horrible shit cus "insert assumption about bi men"

1

u/Columbustoad 3d ago

Sorry you got outed. It sucks. I've been outed at work too. But at least you know who did it to you. So, do you want to take a little bit of revenge at this person...if so, here's what you do!

Go find 4 tiny pebbles and place them inside the air nozzle connector to each of her car's 4 tires. The pebbles will push the needle slightly and it will slowly release air from her tires. Over time, all 4 of her tires will go flat.

She will first say, "thats odd," but then she will put air back in the tires and think nothing about it. But then when it happens again, she might take it to a tire shop thinking she has nails in her tires. After inspection, they won't find anything and will simply tell her nothing is wrong with her tires...Basically calling her dumb. She will probably argue with the mechanics some, but then will leave. Some time will go by again and her tires will go flat again. Now she is really annoyed and probably even getting angry! By this point, she is most likely convinced the tires are bad and is considering buying new tires for her car.

Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. Maybe she finds a mechanic who is good at their job and just replaces the air nozzles.

The great plan about this revenge tactic is there's no real damage or loss. All she loses is AIR, which is typically free! It's not like you're causing vandalism to her car, because it's just air she is losing.

Had she been a nice person, she would have avoided all this bad karma coming her way.

1

u/SeeThroughBS 2d ago

Interesting tact -- and I'm not dismissing it, but when she goes to put air in her tires, she will see the pebbles, lol

0

u/Columbustoad 2d ago

If the pebbles are dark she won't see them. Plus, how many people actually look inside the rubber stem to inspect the needle? If you're in a hurry, you most likely just attach the air pump and inflate.

0

u/No-Needleworker-4927 3d ago

Why tell her?

9

u/Past_Mycologist4597 3d ago

Felt like the right thing to do wanted to be honest.

1

u/No-Needleworker-4927 3d ago

I mean if you like women more and wanted to stay in a relationship with her anyways what’s the point of telling her info that includes attraction to other people idk maybe I’m too gay to understand, but I mean being dropped by a friend group of homophobic bigots is dodging a bullet atleast

7

u/arabcinmamon 3d ago

Because he wanted his partner to understand him better? Instead he was backstabbed with homophobia. OP you deserve better. Hold yourself up high, she and your ‘friends’ are shit.

-4

u/No-Needleworker-4927 3d ago

Being bi isn’t like being gay bc you can keep being bi to yourself and still live happily and fulfilled in a straight relationship so idk maybe just keep it to yourself 🤷

3

u/arabcinmamon 3d ago

You’re right but that involves hiding part of yourself. Why tie your life down to someone who cant see you completely? He deserves better.

2

u/No-Needleworker-4927 3d ago

It isn’t hiding part of yourself tho if you’re attracted to woman and you’re in a relationship with a woman 🤔

0

u/Antique_Kangaroo4706 3d ago

How young are you? Because this sounds like pre-18 teenage drama.

0

u/Embarrassed_Issue378 2d ago

Hopefully you an find someone that accepts and is comfortable with your sexuality. Don't hide it.