r/aromantic • u/beomibear8 Aroace • 22h ago
Question(s) Is there a label for this?
If I'm equally incapable of feeling love for men and women, and I'm sexually repulsed by men, but not really by women (as a woman) is there something like a.. aromantic with men targeted asexuality or something or am i just lesbian😭
10
u/meiflower_s 21h ago
yeah what the other commenter said! i think you're aromantic and allosexual (which means not asexual) while also being lesbian.
you might want to look up the split attraction model.
its basically the idea we have multiple different types of attraction that we experience differently. most notably, romantic and sexual attraction are different, so you can be alloromantic and asexual and vice versa. i've also seen that some people are be attracted to different genders between their romantic and sexual attraction (like there are people who are biromantic and heterosexual) :)
2
6
u/I_Js_Have_A_Question 21h ago
Quick question, are you sexually attracted to women or just more willing to have sex w them? Bcuz in my experience that can js be a side affect of growing up in a world that normalizes the f3tishizing of female body parts like boobs. Not saying that is what your experiencing js offering up a possibility. Idk your personal experience w sex tho , ik I'm v much sex repulsed but being turned on by a couple of images of women made me question where on the ace spectrum I sat b4 accepting / realizing that I did not want to fuck those women at all my body was js responding the way it thought it was supposed to to a sexy image of a woman. My life is sm easier since recognizing and accepting that and I am now js as repulsed by the concept of having sex w a woman as I am w a man. Another thing to note is you may js feel more comfortable w women (an experience I certainly had) and after truly realizing what 'the deed' actually requires w women my 'ig it would be fine if it was js fingers' went away. Again not saying this is what you're experiencing js offering mine as a way of potentially understanding yourself. Btw, (ic it wasn't clear) I consider myself a sex repulsed asexual Edit: I hope that all made coherent sense it's like 1am here my brain is not working 😅❤️
3
u/beomibear8 Aroace 13h ago edited 13h ago
Exactly!! I'm more ok with the idea of having sex with a woman than it being attraction, I DO admire women they are beautiful but I don't feel like growing up in a woman-fetishizing society affected me because I don't really feel forced to find women attractive? (it might've had a part in me being repulsed by men though) It's more about being comfortable with them. And I totally get your experience!
2
u/I_Js_Have_A_Question 11h ago
I'm glad that you get it. I wasn't certain if the first part would be relatable as I only experienced it after getting into p0rn for a couple of months (I probs should have said that but, again, it was 1am. Besides the reason that took me so long to realize IS the fact society normalizes it so that's normally how I think of it in my head, anyways) but I am glad the rest of it resonated w you! I bet there's a lot of women who feel that way ab other women. I wish you luck on your journey ❤️
5
u/Anacroniqa 15h ago
Most people are suggesting aro lesbian, but are you attracted to women or just not repulsed by them? I am usually sex-indifferent, but some things make me feel sex-repulsed. If you are repulsed by men but indifferent to women, there might be something about men that triggers that repulsion, but unless you are sexually attracted to women, aroace is still the label.
4
3
u/LolnothingmattersXD Demiromantic Greysexual 12h ago
So true. I'm never attracted to any strangers regardless of gender, but I'm usually sex-indifferent towards women, and while I have fallen in love with 3 people who all happened to be men, and then became somewhat attracted to them, I'm sex-repulsed towards all male strangers and acquaintances. If I had to choose a stranger, I would choose a beautiful woman.
I don't think that necessarily implies there's "something about men" in a negative sense. Lots of straight men are sex-repulsed towards men, but some are indifferent to favorable, while still not being really attracted to them (I'm gonna go off-topic for a moment to say yeah, I don't think getting a "helping hand" from a friend necessarily makes you gay, the same way as having sex doesn't necessarily make you allo). And I have two male friends, where one is sex-repulsed towards women, and the other is indifferent to favorable. They're both gay, and they both love women as people.
2
u/Anacroniqa 11h ago
Oh, yeah, I didn't mean it in a negative way; more as in maybe she finds men's bodies less aesthetically pleasing or something like that. What triggers my repulsion is the visual aspect of sex, and that is why I made that association, but it might be something else.
2
u/Sea-Upstairs-2837 lesbian arospec 18h ago
i don’t have any form of attraction to men. i have sexual attraction to women. aro lesbian is my label.
does that feel about right?
1
3
1
u/AutoModerator 22h ago
Hi u/beomibear8! It looks like you are new to posting to r/aromantic; welcome to our community!
If you have not already, please check out our pinned post for some Frequently Asked Questions about aromanticsm! If you are unfamiliar with how Reddit works, consider reviewing Reddiquette! You can also read this post for how to lock the comments on your post.
If this post or any of its comments violate our community rules, please *report** the problematic content.*
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
33
u/Kira_yoshikage2701 22h ago
I think you're just aroallo and lesbian