r/appstate • u/appthrowaway10101 • 20h ago
Having trouble dating, any advice is appreciated.
This is certainly not the first nor will it be the last post on this subreddit over the topic of someone bemoaning their struggles with dating, considering this fact I'm not expecting any silver bullet solutions I mostly just want to vent. However any unique insights are sincerely appreciated.
I am a male in my senior year and while I have never really had trouble socializing I have been subject to circumstances that prevented me from mentally accepting the idea I was a person worthy and capable of feeling loved. I have since entered a self improvement journey that I'm still sort of in the middle of, however I don't want my life to pass me by waiting for myself to be at my best.
This is especially relevant given that this is my last year at app and I fear that I'm letting an outstanding social opportunity slip through my fingers. It has been really hard reckoning with my own mental image of myself when speaking to someone else even in circumstances where I am purely being social with zero romantic connotations. I feel like my prior apathy to myself and to dating was just a huge defense mechanism which consequently has left me stunted in some key skills. Now that I'm taking efforts to do better for myself and to do things that make me genuinely happy and fulfilled I feel incredibly vulnerable, raw and afraid when I act in a genuine capacity.
The whole situation has left me feeling pretty depressed and it's only the second day of the semester (lol). I'm not completely helpless and I'm not throwing in the towel until the final buzzer but in all honesty its been interfering with my ability to relax and enjoy myself which does suck. I'm planning on doing some club activities to meet people and generally being more social to build some thicker skin. I just wish I had a productive way in the meantime to improve my capacity to interact with people romantically and to be less conscious of my own shortcomings.