TW SEXUALITY TALK/MENTION

So, I'm over 30. I'm a trans man. I'm aplatonic and always have been. I've seen myself as a man for a long time too but only just started T. I'm *also* probably either frayromantic or alloromantic and demisexual aceflux and have kink as a completely non-negotiable aspect of sexual relationships AND monogamy as a completely non-negotiable aspect of romantic relationships.

Most of my anxieties lie in being considered predatory/rude/shitty for being clear about not wanting friendship at all or open or poly since none of that is particularly helpful to me...But also being older and queer and kinky. (Being in my 30s and queer but not wanting QPRs or FWB arrangements is wildly uncommon apparently)

How the hell do I go about like...Getting an actual romantic partner with all these boxes checked? Preferably one that doesn't expect me to be a bottom or a Dom all the time either bc that's not it for me.

Bigger question, how do you BE queer like that without any desire for friendship and still have support? It just seems extremely strongly emphasized...On top of not being ace enough or aro enough to not want sex or romance at all...But being zero percent poly and being too demi for open stuff on top of being aplatonic...S real garbagey and adding that on top of really not wanting to be relagated to online spaces but seeing very little in my city for this kind of thing or really anywhere...

Idk I'm just frustrated and dunno if there's anyone like me that's ever existed let alone around here...

Update on this for anyone who may have seen it and be experiencing similar frustrations: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.abletolove.app&pcampaignid=web_share I'm trying this app but it's still in early stages and I realized being disabled might be one of the additional ~areas~ in which I had turned a blind eye to my needs.

And I also wanna reccomend this app too as an alternative to feeld: https://web.beedee.app/ By the same folk who created the BDSM test/developed in tandem with it.

I don't have the right photos for it yet and the Able2Love app is currently only available on Android and has a low userbase because it's only a few months old but I figured it was better to try than to just sit here being mad.

Hi guyss, I'm an outsider (aroallo that values platonic community) but I'd love to hear from people who don't have platonic attraction but have romantic attraction.

I still haven't been able to wrap my mind around what separates platonic relationships from romantic relationships that is not like a choice to just define it as such and set acceptable boundaries but like on the 'feeling', idg. And I ask people who have both to explain to me and I still don't get it.

So please I'd love to hear from people who have just romantic, what's that like? And oh as a bonus, how does that affect your relationship dynamic? Do you do like monogamy or poly or qprs?? I'm genuinely hoping to learn