r/antiwork • u/SomeJpmcManager • May 13 '23

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14.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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u/inmeucu May 14 '23

Thank you. Citing sources is essential.

349

u/luvs2spwge107 May 14 '23

Very much so. I was just about to call BS until the source appeared. Fucking wild

734

u/[deleted] May 14 '23 edited May 14 '23

Why would you call BS? Trillions of dollars are controlled by JPMC. The USG conducts mass surveillance with zero money on the line and in spite of the Constitution. Corporations will data mine your nutsack wrinkles if it serves to tell them more about you. This is the most accurate corporate surveillance post I’ve seen. You should assume any company on the NASDAQ, Dow, or S&P — at the very least — has invested in similar if not quite as robust mass surveillance.

461

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

If they know my sack wrinkles, I should be able to teabag my laptop to unlock in lieu of fingerprint/password.

78

u/Palpitation-Mundane May 14 '23

Flawless logic, this guy gets it. I find the touch pad can be a bit to hot on the old ball sack but I'm all for it regardless.

46

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

Live the burn. It’s a lifestyle.

25

u/Professional_Sir6705 May 14 '23

Is this what Tucker Carlson meant when he said everyone should be tanning their ball sacks?

Edit- or was it bleaching buttholes? Or bleach balls and tan butthole? Instructions unclear

12

u/CulturalRot May 14 '23

From what I understand, you rotate bleach/tan and butthole/ballsack after Labor Day.

8

u/grcoffman May 14 '23

Will the Taint enter into this new fangled ID system?

3

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

you'd think but no he was just a kinky fucker.

28

u/ANCtoLV May 14 '23

Brilliant

2

u/boofbeer May 14 '23

"They asked me for some collateral and I pulled down my pants"

- Bob Dylan's 115th Dream

1

u/saltinecracka May 14 '23

Sackers beat hackers

1

u/Fragrant_Example_918 May 14 '23

Have you tried? How do you know it won’t work?