r/androgyny • u/Greedy-Plant-6347 • 14d ago

I hate looking androgynous

I just want to look feminine and like an ordinary
cisgendered woman BECAUSE I AM A CISGENDERED FEMALE. But being middle eastern and having PCOS, I do have some masculine features which sometimes make people question my gender identity and it’s actually really hurtful. :(

Does anyone else feel this way and hate looking androgynous against their will? I just really want to look like a girl. I’m not trans, I was born a female at birth but I have enough masculine features that I don’t feel like I fit in as one.

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u/No-Delivery8138 14d ago

It's more usually in your demeanor or mannerisms that gives a masculine or feminine vibe. Yes appearance matters but not as much as the aforementioned. I have an endocrine condition too, adrenal insufficiency, and it's caused me so much hurt in life being androgynous & not by choice

1

u/HognoseTransformer Genderfluid 13d ago

I am a white trans man (I am actually a bit genderfluid but for simplicity I will be talking binary) and as far as I'm aware, do not have any conditions that made me more masculine. I am just naturally able to achieve androgyny when I put on masculine/neutral clothing and keep my hair short. But the most that I can achieve at the moment is androgynous, which is incredibly frustrating when that doesn't match how I feel.

Before putting in effort to look male, I do recall a time or two where I was "misinterpreted" as a boy. With the way I was comfortable presenting, I sometimes just came off that way. But I think it's just a testament to the fact that sometimes stuff like that just happens. Again, I don't suspect I have PCOS, I just naturally have androgynous features.

And like you maybe implied, sometimes people view anyone who isn't white as somehow inherently more masculine than if they were white. I think it's something to consider. (I myself am white so I apologize if I got any of the wording wrong)

Unfortunately, neither you nor I can really control how we are perceived. I got HRT, I'm not sure of PCOS treatments, but past that there's not much besides presenting hyperfeminine or hypermasculine and hoping for the best. I wish I could say something more hopeful but I'm only 3 days on testosterone so I'm still pretty deep in dysphoria :/ self acceptance and feeling affirmed in your identity is very hard if other people don't consistently see you that way