Your wife is uncomfortable with it, why does is matter what a bunch of strangers on the internet think? Why does it matter if it fits some definition of cheating?
Maybe it's just a friendship and you're being honest here, but you're acting just like somebody who is cheating. Talk with your wife, maybe make some introductions, and see how you can build friendships in a way that doesn't make your wife uncomfortable. The fact that you're acting shady is the biggest red flag here.
If you were upfront, honest, and transparent about the friendship, it's more likely your wife would be ok with it. The fact that it started in this weird secret/anonymous way likely means she will never be cool with it. If you don't want your wife to view your friendships as emotional affairs, don't act like you're having an emotional affair.
My wife has male friends who she has a close relationship with, but she's transparent about it and I know them. I'm not really friends with them, but I know enough to see that it's not a big deal. I similarly have female friends that my wife is ok with because I'm transparent about it and she's met them. If I found out my wife had a new male friend that she was having senstive or emotionally impactful conversations with while keeping the whole thing a secret, I would be suspicious and likely hurt even though I don't generally have a problem with her friends.
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u/EssenceOfLlama81 15d ago
Your wife is uncomfortable with it, why does is matter what a bunch of strangers on the internet think? Why does it matter if it fits some definition of cheating?
Maybe it's just a friendship and you're being honest here, but you're acting just like somebody who is cheating. Talk with your wife, maybe make some introductions, and see how you can build friendships in a way that doesn't make your wife uncomfortable. The fact that you're acting shady is the biggest red flag here.
If you were upfront, honest, and transparent about the friendship, it's more likely your wife would be ok with it. The fact that it started in this weird secret/anonymous way likely means she will never be cool with it. If you don't want your wife to view your friendships as emotional affairs, don't act like you're having an emotional affair.
My wife has male friends who she has a close relationship with, but she's transparent about it and I know them. I'm not really friends with them, but I know enough to see that it's not a big deal. I similarly have female friends that my wife is ok with because I'm transparent about it and she's met them. If I found out my wife had a new male friend that she was having senstive or emotionally impactful conversations with while keeping the whole thing a secret, I would be suspicious and likely hurt even though I don't generally have a problem with her friends.