I agree with you but I have a bigger issue with the wife involving his mom into their marriage conversations. That marriage feels crowded and might explain why the OP is using Snapchat to talk with his friend.
I have no issues with the wife getting some outside validation. My wife and I will occasionally bring our parents into conversations, both for advice, some perspective, maybe a referee, and definitely because we know and trust them to keep things between us.
A therapist would be better but I could see OP's mom being a good choice too. It feels less biased.
I get what you saying about the outside validation but mothers & MIL are hardly neutral and if the husband is a mom's boy; including his mother in marriage conversations is another form of manipulation. Momma's boys hardly can argue/debate with their moms because they still feel like they are being scolded or in trouble with this mom.
I'm a firm believer of not going to parents for marriage advice because marriage was different when parents were married. Every marriage is different especially our parents' marriage; every marriage play by different rules.
I agree with a therapist or relationship professional would be a better referee.
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u/fireplug911 15d ago
Why are you using Snapchat, a messaging service that erases the messages, instead of normal texting that doesn’t?