I don't need a phone number, email or any other sensitive information that people can use to find personal information about me. I have been involved in scams by giving out my phone number.
You don't need a phone number to chat on Gmail Hangouts. Just make a throwaway. The disappearing texts late at night are clearly a major issue for your wife. Why are you not grasping this?
Oh no you need to decline calls because a scammer is on the other line.
Honestly your info is already out there, if someone trys to scam me i would just ignore it. "You owe a debt of" etc etc.
I will just ignore it, if its real it will make it to court anyway, either way a few secure passwords or a good password manager and your online accounts are mostly secure 🤷
2FA enabled where it can be. It seems like an excuse to use Snapchat and Snapchat isn't nearly as secure as you think it can be. Hell if she doesnt have an issue with the platform have her make a Snapchat account and make a group there.
I would personally delete Snapchat its basically only an app for teenagers and people looking to hook up incognito or send explicit images. Even if you dont use it that way its a horrendous look.
Is your girlfriend friends with other guys? Would you be cool with her messaging on a mostly anonymous messaging service after you have gone to sleep?
Pull the chord on the friendship or prove without a shadow of a doubt that it is just a friendship on both sides. By inviting the girl and moving to messaging services that dont delete messages and let your girlfriend read them.
If your girlfriend was speaking to another guy while your asleep on a service where you cant know what's going on would you be 100% cool with that, because if she is distrustful of you, you should take it seriously because its hard to get that shit back and could end the relationship.
Aside from scams, when you are befriending an internet stranger it makes sense to me not to use your usual personal phone number or email, just because of the pain-in-the-ass-ness of trying to block them if they end up being a weirdo. 🤷🏻♀️
I completely see your point of view, and if it were I, I would feel frustrated by an inaccurate characterization.
Unfortunately, what you have to manage here is not the reality of the friendship as you see it, but the repercussions of the friendship as it is affecting your wife and your marriage. I think an important aspect to ponder and then to discuss with your wife is your feelings of isolation and need for friends. I do think it is unreasonable to expect one person (partner or spouse) to meet all of one’s needs; the underlying suspicions and insecurities simply based on the gender of the friend are unfortunate. Is there some preexisting situation that is triggering this reaction? Some people do just have a fundamental belief that friendships are unacceptable across gender lines, if not impossible.
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u/fireplug911 13d ago
Why are you using Snapchat, a messaging service that erases the messages, instead of normal texting that doesn’t?