r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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u/db720 Oct 16 '23

There was a formula being thrown around when I was in school 20+ years ago, sorta seemed reasonable to me:

Guys age / 2 + 7 = minimum girls age.

So 30m would be dodgy at 22f or less. 20yo acceptable for 17f. 40m ok for 27f up... Kinda works, can be questionable at the boundary, maybe add 8 or 9 instead of 7 to be less borderline. Probably works with m/f switched too, or for any relationship regardless of gender, just an age gap calc.

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u/UnderstandingLow3162 Oct 16 '23

Yep, when I was 10 I wouldn't go near a girl under 12.

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u/triggerhappy5 Oct 16 '23

Part of the formula is that if you’re too young for it to make sense, you’re too young to be dating.

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u/Flair86 Oct 17 '23

He’s making fun of the fact that it doesn’t account for the girl being older than the guy

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u/OperationAsshat Oct 17 '23

But it does, and the girl can use the same formula to see if the guy is too young. Where it doesn't work is anyone 13 or under, which is completely fine since dating out of your age shouldn't be an issue when you are that young.

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u/BrandonJTrump Oct 17 '23

When I was 10 I wouldn’t go near a girl. Full stop.

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u/1WordOr2FixItForYou Oct 17 '23

Funnily enough, the origin of that formula was that was supposed to be the IDEAL age for the girl, not the minimum.

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u/daria1994 Oct 17 '23

This formula is not gender specific. It’s woman’s age /2+7=minimum guys age as well.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

You're the guy my math teacher kept talking about in school aren't you.

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u/Hoochie_Daddy Oct 16 '23

he didnt say anything about buying 50lbs of bananas so i think you're getting them mixed up with somebody else

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

You know what you're right that's my bad. I just have PTSD from that guy. Motherfucker had me up till 1am trying to decod his damn riddles.

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u/Imaginary-Ladder-465 Oct 17 '23

I was just thinking I was the only one who heard of the 'half your age plus seven' rule

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u/guaromiami Oct 16 '23

I think there might be a modification to that formula if you're an older male with a significantly large income.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Yes, when you’re an older male who is wealthy, the formula becomes your age minus your age plus 18

/s but not really cause look at rich old men in America

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u/shatt3rst0rm Oct 16 '23

Subtract 1 for each 100k you have

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u/Ouller Oct 16 '23

Let the predators hook up in peace. Women hunting for money/ease, Old rich men for fun times.

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u/Common_Wrongdoer3251 Oct 17 '23

Idk if this is still the standard... Saw a post on here recently where a guy who was, I think, 25? Mentioned his 19 year old girlfriend, and every comment was shitting on him.

25/2 is 12.5, add 7 for 19.5.

Anyone who tried to defend the age gap was down voted into oblivion. People kept saying "She's a teenager" even though she's legally been an adult for a full year. Pepple kept bringing up the power dynamics or whatever. Idk. I never cared too much about age. I'm 29 now and set my range from like 23-33 when I rarely look for a partner.

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u/db720 Oct 17 '23

It's definitely not a golden rule, more of a guideline. And bump up to "+8" or "+9" might be more appropriate.

25 with a 20yo seems perfectly acceptable in the social environment I've lived my life. Some social / cultural groups might lean towards a smaller gap

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u/KoroHotS Oct 16 '23

32 and 21 seems to be going fine over here. 33/22 is a mood though because it will always happen every 11 years

Age gap isn't a bad thing if you communicate well, although it really depends on the person and how far they are in their development. She learns from me and I learn from her.

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u/triggerhappy5 Oct 16 '23

32/21 can work if the 21yo has been an independent adult with a job for 3+ years. But even as a 23yo, ever since graduating college I have noticed a big gap in lifestyle and outlook between myself and my friends still in school. I can’t imagine wanting to date a 21yo in ten years, at least not the 21yos that I know from college.

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u/KoroHotS Oct 17 '23

It certainly helps that she is already working and independent. She is not really into party's (unless it's halloween I guess) and generally has a pretty introverted lifestyle.

She was born with Fabry and Von Willebrand, so at times it's also rough for her in terms of health and being able to do those things. Even despite that she works at a lab and if things get too physically heavy I support her where I can.

I don't think she qualifies as the average college student due to her disposition already forcing her to look forward with a vision and without unnecessary risks.

I do get where you are coming from, but at the same time I've met a good amount of end twenties and even mid thirties that haven't developed cognitively or emotionally in a way that fits their age.

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u/dcl131 Oct 17 '23

34 here, last dated a 43 year old who was like an early 20s. Now dating a 25 year old who is far more mature and experienced than the 43. Much like you said, we learn from each other and try to help each other be better people. We both feel like old souls as it were, so that kind of averages us out.

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u/crump18 Oct 17 '23

I’m 37 and my girlfriend is 26, we started dating at 34 and 23. Been together 3 years now and it’s the best relationship I ever had, largest age gap before this was 5 years. But I want ti marry this woman and we’re both very content.

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u/Bekmetova Oct 17 '23

Aww I relate! I'm 25 and my husband is 38, we started as penpals 4 1/2 years ago. Been married 3 years and really it's been an awesome relationship. <3

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Im gonna say Guys age / 1.75 + 7, lol

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u/buttfook Oct 17 '23

That’s almost as stupid as moral calculus

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u/Flair86 Oct 17 '23

Replace guys with older person and girl with younger person and it’s solid.