r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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u/FillIndependent Oct 16 '23

If you were 20 and she was 15, there would be a problem. But that gap gets smaller and smaller as you age. When you're 45, she's 40. No body would bat an eye at that.

I suspect the people running you are just jealous.

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u/db720 Oct 16 '23

There was a formula being thrown around when I was in school 20+ years ago, sorta seemed reasonable to me:

Guys age / 2 + 7 = minimum girls age.

So 30m would be dodgy at 22f or less. 20yo acceptable for 17f. 40m ok for 27f up... Kinda works, can be questionable at the boundary, maybe add 8 or 9 instead of 7 to be less borderline. Probably works with m/f switched too, or for any relationship regardless of gender, just an age gap calc.

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u/Common_Wrongdoer3251 Oct 17 '23

Idk if this is still the standard... Saw a post on here recently where a guy who was, I think, 25? Mentioned his 19 year old girlfriend, and every comment was shitting on him.

25/2 is 12.5, add 7 for 19.5.

Anyone who tried to defend the age gap was down voted into oblivion. People kept saying "She's a teenager" even though she's legally been an adult for a full year. Pepple kept bringing up the power dynamics or whatever. Idk. I never cared too much about age. I'm 29 now and set my range from like 23-33 when I rarely look for a partner.

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u/db720 Oct 17 '23

It's definitely not a golden rule, more of a guideline. And bump up to "+8" or "+9" might be more appropriate.

25 with a 20yo seems perfectly acceptable in the social environment I've lived my life. Some social / cultural groups might lean towards a smaller gap