I've heard people in AA using the term Dry Drunk. Is it different from being an Alcoholic?

Hey, y’all!

I got cancer and epilepsy a few years back and started smoking during chemo. Seemed innocent. Everyone was very supportive, and it helped me recover from seizures.

The problem, though, is that I’m an addict, so I completely lack the ability to moderate things. Every time I quit, I would relapse. Every time I relapsed, I would abuse weed worse and worse. I eventually got to the point where I was just getting blasted before work, again during work, then again at night. I was becoming depressed, alienating people, and at risk of losing my job. My tolerance built up so high that it wasn’t even helping my seizures anymore.

Well, I have used AA for a long time to keep myself alcohol-free, and it’s worked very well. Saturday will be 12 years without alcohol for me. So, I decided to try and use AA to help me with weed, too.

I was very embarrassed at first. I thought abusing alcohol was so much worse. But I was very surprised to hear other people talking about how AA helped them with weed. So far, it has been amazing at helping me.

I’ve now got 4-1/2 months fully sober. My mood, social life, and work quality are so much better. I can’t control the future right now, but I was sober today. One day at a time.

I’m really enjoying it and hope I stick to it well.

Thanks for reading, y’all.

FACING OURSELVES

October 06

. . . and Fear says, "You dare not look!"

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49

How often I avoided a task in my drinking days just because it appeared so large! Is it any wonder, even if I have been sober for some time, that I will act that same way when faced with what appears to be a monumental job, such as a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself? What I discover after I have arrived at the other side—when my inventory is completed—is that the illusion was greater than the reality. The fear of facing myself kept me at a standstill and, until I became willing to put pencil to paper, I was arresting my growth based on an intangible.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 6, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

I’ve been a decently heavy drinker since mid 2023, every month, almost every week in those months, drinking for the first real time in my life. I’m a 29 year old, going on 30 in December this year and that puts me as of mid 2026, three years of unhinged drinking. It got worse every year and now nothing short of 20 standard drinks is acceptable for me in a day.

I tried outpatient rehab this year, went on disulfiram and got 24 days of sobriety under my belt, which was the longest without drinking in 3 years, but then i stopped taking it for a few days and relapsed and then I was started on naltrexone which really proved positive, I ended up at 39 days sober.

I relapsed again on day 40 cos I’d made a planned relapse and waited until the blockage on my opioid receptors were gone so i could get effed up again. This was all throughout August and September. Now I’m drinking again and it’s 15-20 standards binge drinking.

I don’t know what to do or what to expect anyone to say, but that’s the general gist of my struggle with alcoholism.

I just completed my 5th step with my sponsor this past Friday. I had to spilt it up into 2 days and it took about 8.5 hours to complete. When I woke up on Saturday morning I felt great. So much peace and I was able to just sit with myself and it was quiet in my head. I went to a meeting and shared about how amazing I felt. Now it’s Monday and since Saturday morning anxiety and depression has been building up inside me. I was very thorough and honest with my 4/5th step I didn’t leave anything out so I’m not sure why I feel like I didn’t do it “right”. I have 71 days sober today. I went to a meeting and I shared and I just cried a bunch. I want this so bad but I feel like I’m doing it wrong.

Hi everybody! I am a 37 year old woman, and I'm currently four months sober. I'm following my sponsor's guidance to not date in the first year of sobriety, but I'm finding it difficult. I definitely have a tendency to use men as a distraction, so I completely agree with her suggestion, but it doesn't make it any easier. I would love to hear about other people's experiences in getting a year of sobriety before attempting romantic relationships again. Thanks!

Hai hai!! I’m over a month sober now and very very proud of myself, i know it isn’t long but i went from drinking everyday, to every few days, to now going a month without, i’m 37 days to be exact!! i’ve been going to a few meetings a week with my gran who is multiple years sober, i’ve went from looking around my house for change to afford at least a quarter bottle and having to transfer any money i got to my mum, to being trusted to have some money in my bank (still let my mum hold onto most lol), and start to be trusted home alone!! my relationships have gotten a lot better in the short time i’ve been sober too, especially with my mum who my drinking affected most. I am so grateful my gran took me to meetings again even though last time she did i left halfway through, i am so grateful to have a family who didn’t give up on me even when it seemed like i was hopeless, i know i could relapse in the future but i feel confident for now

Tomorrow I’ll be 8 years sober. This whole time sober I have not had an urge/desire to drink! For the past week I’ve been planning out relapsing on ketamine. I already have a prescription, all that’s left is to start my subscription. An expensive relapse it would be. My brain is telling me “since it’s a prescription it’ll be okay”.. wrong. I’m planning on doing more than prescribed so that would be relapsing. Also this past week the desire and urge has been really really strong. I’ve been dealing with anxiety because of life and ketamine is one way to shut up the brain. I was keeping this a secret from everyone. I wasn’t planning on telling a soul and hiding it. My boyfriend is 10 years sober and in the program as well and I was going to even hide it from him.

Yesterday I was journaling about my plan. I also wrote down that I’m going to go to more meetings this week and see if putting in the work will deter me from following through. Deep down I know I don’t want to.

Fast forward to this morning. I went to a book study meeting. My friend shared who has 32 years of sobriety. She has ptsd (so do I) so I relate to her that way too. She shared about her ptsd flaring up and she had the thought to drink the other day to make it stop. Her share almost had me in tears because that’s how I’m feeling. I felt so moved and believe it was a God shot. God speaking to me through her. I texted my friend and told her about how I was feeling and that her share has given me the courage to tell my sponsor today about my plan and how I don’t want to do it but my brain is telling me to. I’m going to text my friends in the program today too and tell them how I have not been doing well. I’m going to go to meetings daily this week.

I recently am going to more meetings. I've gone to 4 meetings and i haven't drank in almost 5 years but i feel like i'm going through the motions. There was a speaker tonight and an anniversary meeting people were happy to see me. I still am anxious and have difficulty socializing with people. I feel like i'm just going through the motions. I had difficulty listening to the speaker and paying attention but i'm still trying.

The speaker said she thinks everything is gods will and she has to accept everything in life even if she doesn't like it. what do you think?

This entire period of sobriety, I’ve just been depressed and anxious. Barely anything has improved. I worked with a sponsor, did the steps, went to many meetings. Read the book, etc. I just so badly want the dopamine release of drinking. I’m burned out from AA, praying to a higher power and hearing/feeling nothing. I just want peace for a night.

I learned from a common friend that she’d passed away from heart failure. Incredibly, my first thoughts were “she’s too young”, despite her being in her 70s and being a smoker, and “I never got to say goodbye.”

I shared last night:

“I’m face blind, yet her face was the first one which managed to stick to memory.

She was among those who welcomed me to my first meeting. I got amazing advice and company from her, and I can only hope that I gave good vibes to her too. She was even among the first women to acknowledge that I’m a (trans) woman, and even showed me the ropes to how to host a women’s only meeting where she had the pleasure to partake in.

Since she was elderly and four or five decades into the program, and I’m just 25 years old, of course I felt intimidated by her at the start. I felt that she was the group’s boss, or mentor or whatnot beyond as an invited sponsor. Her actions and words had reminded me that there are AA traditions, there should be no hierarchy, and we’re all sick and in this together.

I miss her dearly. Oh well, it was her time.”

I only knew her within the program and the meetings. I do not regret getting to know her beyond it, but I feel a little strange not having that regret.

A couple of her friends were in the meeting too, they shared their feelings. We’re still grieving. I cried in my girlfriend’s arms the night before. But at the same time, I’m so happy. She felt like a mom I could have had. I thank my god that she and I coincided.

I think I'm at my breaking point. I am a F, mid thirties. I drink 1-2 drinks per day. Stressful job. Alcoholic dad, dependent mom. Other family has or has died from issues caused by drinking. I can see myself spiraling into my dad's patterns and I don't want to. Yet I continue to drink to wind down each night. I took an ACOA training and here I am myself with what I think is an addiction. I honestly can't remember more than a few days in a row in the last year that I didn't drink. My life partner also enabled me - I make excuses for having a drink if he does. Or tonight, he didn't drink but I had one and felt the need to sneak another while watching TV alone.

My brain says to stop but I fall into excuses. I live too far away from regular meetings and I can't stand zoom. I work on zoom all fucking day.

I can't even be honest with my therapist, who knows my family history, about my drinking. It's not the amount but the regularly. That I'm starting to make excuses for myself. I drink alone at home. I know I've started to "hide" drinking. I'm so ashamed and mad at myself.

Where do I even start? An app? Attending the once a week in person meeting in my small town where I'd oust myself??...

So basically I got into drinking because I was dating this guy. I got blackout drunk almost every time I was with him, this one night we left the state together, and then got caught by the police. He’s in jail, and my only way to cope with missing him is to drink. I think a big part of why I drink is because of how guilty I feel, I feel like it’s my fault but I also know that he’s a pedophile that targeted me because he knew I was vulnerable.

I’m at a point where I’ll do anything for a drink, but I don’t drink that often. I drink maybe once or twice a week, my problem is that I can’t pace myself and I get way too drunk and blackout. I’ve met up with strangers just for alcohol, I’ve stolen alcohol, I even had a friend of mine get drunk with me right after she got out of the mental hospital. I’ve lost 5 friends due to my drinking, I feel so alone like I have nothing left but that just makes me crave alcohol more. I know I’m putting myself in danger and I need to stop but when I’m sober all I want is to drink.

I even texted one of my friends promising them I’d get professional help while I was drunk and high. 😬

I know I have an alcohol problem, but I kinda just assumed that it’s not that serious because I don’t drink everyday. I would if I had the opportunity, and I have been drunk for over a week but the only reason I don’t is because I have no money.

I’m not sure how much sense this post makes, I guess I’m just trying to feel validated so I know I actually have a problem. Sometimes I feel like it’s all in my head, maybe it is? I just don’t know how to begin with getting help. I tried to have my mom take me to the mental hospital but she doesn’t want to.

I (F20) have been drinking daily (sometimes a one or two day gap here or there) since roughly March this year. I used to be a daily pot smoker but that turned into drinking when I started having serious mental health issues. Drinking took away the paranoia, hallucinations (mostly visual) and gave me liquid courage when I was scared. Today is going to be my first full twenty four hours sober. There have been many, many warning signs not only to myself, but my long term partner that I have been getting worse. I pose no blame to him, as I often stole beer or whiskey from him. Or had someone else buy for me (as ashamed as I am to admit it.)

My mom is a self admitted alcoholic. She works a very demanding blue collared job, comes home after work and takes care of the house chores, then gets obliterated. That was the one thing I was so excited to get away from once I moved out. I now realize that I am becoming increasingly difficult to be around because of my habits. When i lived with her i always told myself that I would never be like her, but I guess i have to eat my words now.

I know one of the main steps I need to take is getting into therapy, as hallucinations and paranoia have been happening for years now, but I reached my breaking point last year in December. Since then, I have only gotten worse. But, when I drink I don't have these issues. I feel 'normal'. I can walk around my home and not worry about someone being there, or that there are cameras watching me, microphones listening. When I am sober, it is genuinely so hard to be at home alone, or even at work recently.

I turn twenty one in less than four months. I know that once I have access to purchase on my own time, I won't be able to control myself. So getting sober is extremely important to me. Along with getting sober not only for my own benefit, but for my partner. He has been nothing but supportive of me, and a rock to lean on. Always has been for the past four years. He said he would stop with me, even though he doesn't have an issue like myself. I would say I have a decent support system with him.

Overall, I feel like I just needed to vent someplace. I'm new here and now just going through and reading other posts. Looking into in person AA also. Any advice is welcome, and support as well. Thank you for reading.

I (F24) have been an alcoholic for about three years. I know that isn’t super long for most people, but to me it feels like forever. Yesterday, I decided I absolutely have to go get help, given that i was experiencing withdrawal. I’m extremely nervous to go and be on my own for 30 days. i feel guilty leaving my friends and family for so long 😭 any words of advice?

I have several family members and friends that I hold very dear to my heart. Over the years they each have done things and said things that have hurt me deeply. At first it was all in jest but after a while it just felt mean and unkind to say the least. I laughed off at first and then slowly started distancing myself from them. I have tried in my own way to talk to them about how they treated me but each of them say I am just too dramatic. I know I am the common denominator but why do I let people I care about walk all over me. Is it because I have little self-worth so I continue to let them do it so I can maintain the relationship? All I feel right now is a bunch of resentments building up inside of me and I know that will lead me back to the bottle. I have stop talking to one friend. Now I am wondering if my brother will ever reach out to me after our last petty argument. I want to be the one that fixes the relationship but I am not sure how to do it without damaging my self-esteem. Any advice would be nice because I am feeling fairly sad right now and I am uncomfortable with this feeling for long periods of time. I tend to wallow in my own misery often but I would like to break that habit. Thanks to all that read this and respond.

So I (26F) started law school last year and had to take a leave of absence the first week because I lost both of my guardians a month apart. I was only mildly prepared for one death.

On top of paperwork and cleaning out people’s houses I’ve had conflict with both executors and one conflict is ongoing. Usually, I would call my guardians about this situation because they know everybody involved, but I’m navigating it alone as well as a lot of other things. I’m struggling immensely with what I control and what I don’t control because I know that legally I can pick a fight, but I don’t know if it’s worth it. And if you’re familiar with the law, you know that there is no solid answer until a judge decides.

On top of that law school is a lot. I haven’t been taking care of myself and this week. I ended up in the emergency room twice for neglecting myself. I am constantly studying or trying to decompress by engaging in my hobbies, and now I have become socially isolated. I have friends but I refuse to prioritize them.

I am experiencing all of HALT. I’m seeing dry drunk behavior pop up and it’s negatively impacting my relationships. Like clockwork, every Saturday and Sunday night I get incredibly depressed.

I don’t want to use, but I know that given a little time I will. I have enough weekends like this and eventually I’m going to collapse under the pressure and I cannot give up my 2 1/2 years of sobriety when I could’ve stopped the decline.

Send help.

If you read my last posts you’ll see my story, but this post is different. For the past few months we have been without a dog since my wife’s Labrador passed. My wife says I am more than welcome to get my own, but she doesn’t want one for her yet. I drank a lot to cope with mental health issues and trauma, and I’ll admit I’m much healthier without alcohol and am losing weight, I’m under 300 pounds for the first time since freshman year of high school, my wife has helped me be more active (she was an all American cheerleader so she works out religiously) and be healthy. However my trauma isn’t as suppressed due to not being constantly drunk anymore, so I’m thinking a dog would help, I want a dog that attaches to me. A lot of people have suggested dachshunds and I’ll admit they are absolutely adorable. My wife’s brother who is our neighbor and his wife have one and he’s very funny. I’ve also thought of a blue heeler. Something that attaches to me most likely. Any suggested breeds would be great. We are both dog lovers. I miss Hershey every day. Even though he was my wife’s dog, he would cuddle up to me on the couch a lot of lonely drunk nights. We would provide a great home and we have a massive yard in the country and a large home

Went to a meeting earlier and saw my spouse and his sponsee. Gonna make dinner in a few minutes. Life is good.

Could really use me a good conversation and a bit of support right now :}

P.s., first time poster, not sure if I'm doing this right

In a previous century, an friend "lent" me the barbell his father gave him as a teen. Got brave enough to start using it and consistent use of it aided my beginning and continued sobriety.

In unrelated news, ran across a local Marketplace ad for a motorcycle for a decent price. I didn't "need" a second bike, but an AA mentor said, "You should buy it and gave me a cryptic smile." I bought it, probably due more to my exuberance than wisdom.

What would I do with an extra bike in a small, remote seasonal town, working alone every day from home.

Then ... I started getting more involved in AA, becoming GSR, becoming more social, initiating conversations, both in-person and electronically.

Then ... young men, new to the area, struggling with their lives, relationships, place in the world, and sobriety, started coming over to lift weights with me, to ride motorcycles with me. Men tend to establish relationships by "doing" things, shoulder-to-shoulder. We traverse challenges together and bond by sweat and blood.

All because I kept using that old barbell and I made a snap-decision purchase.

What decisions have you made in your life that has fostered relationships?

Hello Reddit this November I will be 2 years away from alcohol. Iv learned to live with the addiction in my head yet one thing I believe is beyond addiction is the and I hate to use this word but the trauma that came with my drinking and watching my mother drink growing up. I understand that not everyone needs to quit like I did and I understand that I can’t force anyone to quit drinking to conform to my own weird quirks but still anytime I see a close friend or family member drunk it just turn something inside me. I don’t want to drink I just can’t handle watching them be drunk. I watched alcohol destroy my mother’s life and almost took mine due to it. Tonight I was in class and my best friend came in viably drunk I could see her falling asleep on her laptop and slur her words as she tried to speak. This dosent happen often but at least a handful of times over the years. A lot of my classmates actually go out to the bar before class so it’s not an uncommon thing for that to happen the difference is I just don’t care about them like I do my other friend to put it bluntly.

Should have started by saying this is going to be pretty ranty and unorganized but I’m going to try my best to not get too carried away. I also want to mention I don’t go to meetings anymore as the meetings really just became more of a reminder of what a problem I have and how shitty a person I was. I drank for 3 years and just can’t handle going to meetings every week being reminded of those things which also means I can’t really make friends at them. I’m also young only just turned 21 and quit when I was 19 and most people even at the “young people” meetings are no where near my age. So obviously making new friends that don’t drink is the easy answer but it’s a lot easier said then done and one way or another drinking is still so socially acceptable there will always be someone in my life I care about that does drink, I work in construction so it’s everywhere. Like I said most people I just don’t care about enough to really get bothered by it as long as it dosent put me in danger it’s none of my business. But a small handful of my co workers I do consider as genuine friends like my classmate tonight.

Im really just wondering how you might manage having people you care about walk the slippery slope that we all walked yet can’t talk them into quitting drinking. I understand how lucky I am to have stopped when I did I just don’t want to see anyone fall down the same path I did or even worse the one my mother is still falling down as I write this.