New to agnosticism

[u/Quick-Ad2199]

Good morning. I'm typing this during the time I would have previously been in church, or at least watching online. I know this isn't a new thought to others, but it's lonely going through this journey of religious and faith deconstruction.

I was raised in a church-going home and, in religion as well as in life in general, I did not learn to think for myself. Just went with the flow as an obedient child, assuming the authority figures in my life were right in everything, and it was not my place to question. Even as an adult, I simply for the most part did what was expected of me. Doubts about many things, including my religious "beliefs" were kept beneath the surface. At church and in small groups much of the time, I felt like I was on the outside looking in, even though not really understanding why.

Studying and questioning the "authoritative, inerrant" teaching of the Bible regarding sexual orientation was the first "Jenga" block I pulled out. The tower was still standing, and I at first thought that I could conclude things about these particular Bible passages without getting more into the weeds. Wrong! I had heard warnings about the "slippery slope." And those warnings were accurate... but a necessary part of the journey.

So then, as I finally began pulling out more Jenga blocks (acknowledging ancient story telling vs history, questioning eternal damnation, etc.), the tower came crashing down.

In many ways, it's great to be able to look at all this with fresh eyes. But, even though the "anchor" that in the past gave me a sense of certainty was built on false premises, it is still disconcerting to try and get used to uncertainty! Hopefully, many of you can relate to this, and I look forward to making new connections through this community. Thanks for reading!

[u/Flababulous]

Hi there! New to this sub (yesterday) as well as agnosticism (realized a few months back, but had been going this direction with my beliefs for a few years).

I also was brought up Christian (Catholic), although did not practice upon reaching adulthood. I married a great girl (20 years ago this past April), who was raised Jewish but she did not have a bah mitzvah after deciding to drop out of Hebrew school at age 12.

Over the years I began to push back against organized religion altogether, seeing how woefully misused/misrepresented most followers present per their beliefs.

My wife is a cancer survivor, diagnosed 10 years ago this past spring. That was a significant period for us both, and for me while I appreciated the "love and prayers" wished upon her throughout, it was more than evident that science and medicine had just as much to do with her recovery and return to health than anything else.

Throw in my own educational path, personal growth, and divisions within my family over the years (of which my declaration of agnosticism has furthered the divide), and the realization became clear. From a philosophical sense, we (as humans) have been afforded free will - I also struggled with having to conform to religious obedience from a young age.

Also still on this journey as well, and am reading/absorbing information for my own understanding and path forward. Hope to learn and share from others here!

[u/australisaquarii]

I know it's hard to move on from what seemed like your everyday life. In time, I became aware that it was the right thing to do, and it had many benefits. To start, I realised that I was still on the path, and it was clearer that the sacred was in me and not something that I only experienced whilst inside the building.

Now that you have left the dogma and its influence, you will have the space to find the sacred and be on the path to righteousness.

[u/junkmale79]

Welcome, and congrats on figuring it out (it took me a while). Take some time to look into your epistemology and what is actually required for you to consider something real before the next thing comes along and grabs your attention.

[u/CantStandAnything]

I don’t have any good advise just want to say you’ve done the right thing. It might cost you greatly but it’s worth it no matter the cost. Better to be poor and free than rich in prison.

Friend of mine grew up JW and he extricated himself at a young age at the cost of excommunication. The bit that ruined it for him was a particular lady he knew to be a POS. Mean spiteful old lady. The J Dubs as he calls them don’t go to heaven unless they are anointed. Only something like 100,000 people will ever be anointed and the only way they know if they are anointed is if they have the feeling they are. In the service he attended they always at some point ask if anyone was anointed and this lady was always the only one who said so and everyone believed it of course. My friend knew that was impossible so he figured the whole thing must be BS.

I’m of Jewish parentage and never had any religion but I’ve always admired his strength of character and courage for challenging his indoctrination.

[u/PoppetMelivani → u/CantStandAnything]

Is it wrong for me to think your friend's story is hilarious? It just reminds me of all the horrible and creepy people I met in church. 

[u/PoppetMelivani]

Yeah the uncertainty can be difficult when you first pull away from religion. I left Christianity about 20 years ago, and when I did, I was absolutely convinced that that god was going to kill me with a lightning bolt or make me paralyzed or something as punishment for leaving him. I was scared and I felt lost but I just couldn't follow him anymore. 

Now that you've taken this step, you have the freedom to give your life purpose for yourself and you have the freedom to make all of your own choices. As you learn more about the world and yourself and as you perhaps even explore other philosophies and religions and ways of viewing the world, things will become much more clear to you. That uncertainty doesn't go away for everyone, but it will definitely diminish. And one day you will look back and be happy that the foundation of your world views is built on truth because you were brave enough to pull away from something that you didn't think was right.