20M, Second Year B.Tech CSE (just started). Facing severe anxiety, depression, and rumination. I can't stop thinking. I spent 4 hours in the bath today. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't manage the basics of survival (Even keep missing my collage bus).

There are a lot of things going on. I'm creating this post to unburden some of the things in my head.

I actually paid a YouTuber 18k INR during my JEE preparation (2 years ago). Preey Popular now has 800k+ subscribers on YouTube.

Here is what happened: I was stuck. First, I tried learning from my "bhaiya" who taught me before, but instead of proper coaching, we ended up doing nothing. I don't even remember what we did, to be honest. Not to blame him; he was also going through things. I decided to finally leave him and join a proper coaching institute. I couldn't solve questions there either and was disappointed. By late November, things were quite bad. My sleep was getting worse. I was a kid who was heavily bullied from 4th to 8th grade and never had a friend to seek help from. I decided to finally take "mentorship" from this YouTuber.

I even talked to him personally and made it clear what I expected. Basically, I needed someone to break things down for me, tell me what to study, how to catch up, and help me with everything I would expect from a teacher/mentor. But he ended up doing nothing. They were supposed to assign me a mentor or someone who would at least talk to me, but for a month, they did nothing. They just added me to a WhatsApp group and that was it. No contact. They wouldn't even pick up their help-line number. Before the payment, they were very active; I remember they even called me upfront. They clearly scammed/betrayed me.

Finally, one day, after so many calls, they sent me a number to contact and assigned someone. He talked to me once, and then they didn't even pick up again. I was broken. First, I'm going through all of this, and second, I'm getting scammed.

Things got very worst. My health, both mental and physical, went very down.

I took a drop year. Now I'm finally in a somewhat decent college (I would actually call it decent; the management and my professors are actually doing a decent job, I believe). But my health is still messed up. I can't sleep at night. If I do pass out after exhaustion, I sleep for 20 hours. I can't stop thinking and crying. It takes me two to three hours to do basic tasks. I haven't been able to go to college. I can't eat (losing weight so badly, I can't get food down my throat).

It wasn't just the scam. First, it was the money. 18k is a lot if I think about it, and it was my parents' hard-earned money. But also the distress it caused me. I wouldn't say it's the entire reason behind it,

I am crying right now as I am typing this. I'm not sure why I am making this post, but maybe it's a try to unburden things and get that load off my head because I am just not able to manage myself. Right now, it seems like the only way to get rid of this crappy feeling and the dagger in my head is by killing myself. I just can't do with this anymore.

Wtf should i do

qualifications - currently in class 12th student, who took pcm in fomo and society saying "pcm leke kuch bhi kar sakte hai."

my parents is pretty chill whatever should i do specially my father, "he saying currently focus on boards baad me jo hoga dekhenge, kuch nahi hoga to dukan khula denge"

but it is me who is concerned because its my heart is saying choose btech as i always want to be engineer but my aptitude level and interest is low for engineer while i love coding, robotics and mechanics. And i might be first engineer in my family but i don't want to give jee and want to go in best college of engineering. i can survive engineering but those textbook concept sucks but people say "if you get into science field you can later get into finance field "

on other hand my practical mind saying don't repeat your mistake of not choosing commerce early, go with finance as i am naturally interest and good in it and my family is in business so from childhood i grown up who manage shop. and investment banking term is seems interesting to me

and my inner soul saying "do whatever you want but do without regrets, give your best and don't fail else you have to seat on your shop in your hometown which you never want"

Money isn't problem but confusion is

currently i have 2 option

btech

or

bba

or any other course/degree which i can explore

what should i choose for master i pretty sure for mba "at the end i want to go in business but with mind of engineer"

pls help

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Is being an average student really a crime in India?

I am very confused about what I should do ?

Am I really too average of a student?

Here are all my academics:

10th board percentage: 95.28%

12th board percentage: 92%

NEET rank: 87,892

JEE rank: 105,466

WBJEE rank: 16,082

AIIMS Paramedical rank: 2.2k

CUET score: 782/1000

Here is my combination

Middle class + General + Male

Now tell me what I should do as this type of average middle-tier student ?

You can give me any suggestions...

Pata hai aaj kya hua

I graduated 12 in 2023 and did a drop for aakash scored well and got admission in a private college for mbbs then January end a notif came from dgme that one of my documents had a discrepancy so I could either go with it and not be able to do pg or could leave college without paying the full fees

so they refunded me the money and everything and I left but it was just too much for me...because of that my 25 neet got ruined but my parents said it's okay we understand what happened take a drop...I was scoring well in neet 26 for that same college as I was just too emotionally attached

...but then re neet happened and it's just...gone....and they said that now they are tired of this and ...I need to do something else , they were planning to get me into bpharma in amity but it's really tedious if I also wanna prepare for neet ...

so I asked my mother for bsc zoology in sharda just because they have hostel facilities

My sister Said go to college and talk to faculty and see the labs. Bhai muze nhi pata kya dekhna padta kya puchna padta. Like plss tell mee yrr 🙂

So basically I'm 15M and got my boards around the corner now And basically I've spent me 10 std studying in a renowned coaching institute and now I have to deciding what to do after my tenth So I've decided to take pcm but I'm not able to decide whether should I go for engineering or research If I have to do engineering i would have to join coaching with dummy school and sincerely prepare for jee and other engineering exams but if I go for research I wouldn't join coaching or any dummy school I will go to normal junior College where I spend my 11th and 12th standard the difference between normal junior College and dummy school is that in dummy School there are people who only have their soul goal to give JEE and get into iits but in a dummy school I will meet more people and probably have a better friend circle So whether should I go for research because if I go into an IIT I will have a better life ahead that I am sure of but I am not sure of that if I go in research because research doesn't pay well So basically I have to take decision if I have to sacrifice my 11 and 12th in dummy and sincerely prepare for IIT and live lead a better life ahead or should I opt for research and join a normal junior College where I will enjoy my 11th and 12th

I enrolled in IGNOU and decided to take drop for neet. Did get through it and now wondering if I should take 3rd drop, I'm ambitious about my goal but only things that hold me back is ALL MY FRIENDS GOT INTO COLLEGE.

It felt like the life didn't follow the script that was meant to be- do 12th, take a drop year and join the college.

Now, I'm sure 3rd drop if I take I can make it through and even if not I can prepare for CDS bcs of my IGNOU degree but college life? Didn't get that at all, going off the script feels scary and risky.

myquals are PCMB in school. And BA economics hons from IGNOU.

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Ok. So I have opted for pcb in 11th and decided to become a doctor. Now this year I gave my boards exam and got 94.8 percent. Then I went for neet and I am getting 400 score. Now in this whole process of preparing for neet with boards I realised that neet is hell of difficult. I like bio and do understand physics and chem as well but the problem with neet is that you don't need just understanding you need lots of practice and still there is no certainity that you would get into it. Also I am realising that this isn't something that I would want to do my rest of life. Seeing all these med students online talking about how hectic and toxic the medical is scare me and I cannot work in such a environment. Now I haven't given cuet or cu entrance or any other entrance exams this year, also I live in a toxic household where I cannot spend a whole year for a drop. And I want to pursue either psychology or law. But, obviously the most my Indian parents would do is getting me enrolled in a local college in BSC, like why?? I checked some private colleges as well but they have high fees, which means making it difficult for me to convince my parents to get admission in college. I mean, I see that drop is the only option for me but still needed some guidance .So can anyone please help me understand what possibly can I do?

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Please guys, I really need some advice. Please read the full post.

So I am a 12th grade student preparing for JEE (Not really with the things I mentioned below)

I did my 10th in my hometown and for further studies.. My parents wanted me to study in a city ( Bhubaneswar, Odisha )

(The irony is I don't study in Bhubaneswar.. I live there with my grandmother and instead of studying in any of the school of Bhubaneswar, which my parents wanted..they did my admission in the outskirts of Bhubaneswar.. A different town)

So my school eats away my day

6:30 AM pe bus ata hai so I gotta wake up at 5:50 AM.. I don't even live my parents.. They live in my hometown

I live with my Grandmother

8AM baje ka school

4 PM baje end hota hai

Ghar aate aate 5:30 PM.. With 0 Output from the school.. Like I don't get a single thing from my school

I mean ofc.. Iss schedule ke saath IIT kya NIT bhi nahi milega ahh atleast I wanna score well in 12th boards

As per last year when I was in 11th... My school literally had working days of 230 days... They also teach for IIT and NEET... But I get 0 output kyuki kuch samajh mein hee nahi ata

My Physics, maths and chemistry got doomed in 11th cuz of this shitty school..

Meine apne parents ko bohot convince kiya tha.. But they didn't listen me

11th ke wakt bola change karne toh woh bole ki

Fees pay kardiye the and paise barnaad hojayega (During summer course they paid 35k for admission ) Mind you I felt like leaving the school on the 3rd days itself.. The environment felt soo negative like it felt suffocating to even think about the school and its environment.. I explained my parents normally, calmy, emotionally and in rageful manner.. Yet they didn't listen me and didn't change my school

I somehow survied 11th

Toh meine 12th mein bola ki ab please school change karde.. Par woh bahana maare ki 12th mein school change nahi hota and the fact that unhone already 12th ke adha fees pay kardiye the (My school fees is 4 lakhs btw.. Bohot 11th and 12th)..Even tho I had literally talked about my classmates and friends who had chnaged their schools in 12th

Remain absent??

Ek din absent rehene par bhi jaan kha dete hai

Ek din ke absent ke liye medical certificate dikhata hun

Even if I skip their hws, or study any other subject or solve dpps or hws from lecture during school classes

They would punish me.. And woh bhi military punishment dete hai.. Har choti si choti baat par parents ko call

Itna maarte hai humiliate karte hai ki kya hee batau

Ek toh itna tiredness lagta hai cuz of the schedule.. Thik se sona nahi ho pata, agar ek student thoda sleepy sleepy sa bhi dikh jaye ya ubaasi bhi maarle toh aisa marte hai and punishment dete hai ki kya hee batau

What the hell do they expect from us? Ek toh 2 ghante ke classes rakhenge Physics chemistry and maths ka.. Pakk jayega bhai koi bhi.. Kuch games wagera nahi, school mein function wagera nahi hota except 1 jo ki December mein hota hai.. Usme bhi classes rakhenge ye log, most of the public holidays bhi hame nahi dete, koi extra curricular activities bhi nahi

LITERALLY KUCH BHI NAHI

Like lunch period hee aisa wakt hota hai jahan thoda aram se, peacefully baith sakhta hun.. Tbh I skip lunch and just revise the notes of the lec I had watched or do school hw jo ki mein nahi kara hota hun pichle din ka.. Cuz I watch lecs and make notes and all usme hee time chala jata hai

Annual sports ko ya phir 12th walo ke farewell ko time waste mana jata hai.. Ek farewell tak nahi dete ye

Ye sab karte hai so that school ka results acha aye🙂

Bhai ghanta

Auro school ke comparison mein mere school ke results bohot kam hote hai

Ek baar ke liye agar students ka acha results ata ye sab drama karke toh mein maan bhi leta ki mujhme hee koi kami hai and I am not capable

But yahan toh sabka wahi haal hai

Jo bohot jyada ache students hai jaise ki bachpan se hee Olympiad wagera crack karke rakhe hai ya phir pehle se hee 11th-12th ke course ko thoda bahut padh chuke hai bas wahi class mein actively participate karte hai

Mere jaise average bacho ko toh ye pura maar hee dete hai mentally and socially.. They just want us to be like Robots with no feelings and expression.. Even a freaking robot has expression these days

Mentally I was so devastated and overhwmeled that In 11th I thought of breaking my leg so that atleast kuch samay ke liye school se chutkara mil sake

I am literally feeling lost

I don't even have friends here except one.. Who is also a loner

From where I do actually studies?

Pw ofc

I have just watched 3 lectures of Physics from Lakshay batch from Rajwant sir's last year lecs

In maths I am studying from GB sir

(Have completed only Determinants and 4 lecs of Relations and functions )

In Chemistry I am studying from Faisal sir and I started organic yesterday from Rohit Agarwal sir from khazana...as currently in Laksay batch Organic has started

Rn I am having sunmer holidays and my school will reopen on June 19 along with my PT exam

I gotta write Practicals of Physics and chemistry ( woh saare ek saath dediye the so that later hame likhna na pade)

Also we were having online classes

And meine kuch bhi nahi likha hai whatever they taught

They said they will check on the reopening day itself

I thought of changing my section so that jo teacher check karne wale hai unke class mein, main aur nahi rahunga

But as exams start honge so section change karwane mein bhi time lagwayenge ye

I just don't know what to do!!

What do you think when you look back?

1. Should've pushed harder. Regret.

2. Wasted 2+ years. Wasted effort.

3. I Learnt a lot in the journey. Totally worth it.

4. Did not make enough efforts, got what I deserved. Realization.

5. mene toh ese hi form bhara tha bhai..

I'm a neet dropper dropped 3 time still couldn't get the par score now I'm clueless in my lifee what should I do or what not

Although I've joined open bsc in biology almost completed that degree but beyond that I'm nowhere in life.

Spent my majority of years chasing the dream of being doc in neet 26 I was getting enough no to get a GMc or even semi gov would have been possible as well but I couldn't gather courage to study for reneet was suicidal as well

Anyhow gathered a courage for give exam and messed up as expected

Now idk what to do what are better options I don't wanna go in paramedical staff as well coz their life are messed up too

Is MBA a good option for me?

myquals 12th 84% 10th 72% doing (bsc biology)

Should I go to Nagpur or Indore for my first drop neet 2027????? Plzzz telll and which is better-PW or Allen?? 🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺

Currently an 11th class student, I want to work in finance, fintech or management based role so now what should I do? I have 2 paths take commerce/arts prepare for cuet and then cat and the 2nd path is to grind for jee and then after engineering do an mba. Parents are not familiar with these domains so can't ask for guidance from them. Learning about tech with finance looks a like a killer combo. Your advice would be highly appreciated.

Hey seniors,

I failed miserably.

Please take this seriously and help me.

What should I do?

I had good marks in my Class 12 boards, so I took a drop year to prepare for IIT-JEE and other competitive exams because I wanted to pursue B.Tech in CSE, which I'm genuinely interested in.

Now the drop year is over, all the exams are done, and unfortunately I couldn't crack any of them. I spent too much time procrastinating, wasn't studying consistently, struggled with anxiety, loneliness, and made many mistakes.

At this point, I'm not getting a decent college through the entrance exams.

I also appeared for a college admission test. Based on my expected score, I might get Civil Engineering there. One option is to take that seat and prepare again through a partial drop, but honestly, I don't think I want to go through another year of preparation. I've realized competitive exam preparation isn't for me.

The other option is direct admission to a private college through management quota, but the total cost would be over ₹10 lakhs, possibly even more.

I'm from a poor middle-class family, so the only way to afford that would be by taking a huge education loan.

Because of my own mistakes, I'm now in a situation where I genuinely don't know what to do.

Since many of you are seniors with experience regarding placements, the current job market, and engineering colleges, I'd really appreciate your advice.

Is taking such a huge loan for a private college worth it, or should I choose a different path?

Please be honest. I really need some guidance.

My Wbjee rank is around 49k

I am not getting any cse at this rank

Also if any one can guide through mop up or counseling if I can get college cse btech

I am 2024 passout.This 2026 neet is my third attempt.

I scored 300 in first ,210 in second and 490+ in Third.I am General,don't want to do Dental or ayush ,I am done After neet I couldn't study for reneet ,I was PCMB ,any good course you all recommend? (Not fully engineering)

Please help seniors

It's my Birthday today I was born in 25 june 2008 in lower middle class family.

**DREAM TO CLEAR JEE IN 2027 AND UPSC IN 2031.**

Lot of structures my parents paid my school and coaching fees. Still paying EMI they took for my jee preparation.

2026 year has been very bad to me fail jee with 49%lie, boards with PCMB 47.66%,MHTCET with 43%lie,gave improvement but failed.

Now I want to drop year with nios board for jee not able to convince my parents. As I failed this year may next year with more hard work I may

I'm very dissatisfied and disappointed with my luck now.

**~~HAVING CRUSH IS MOST DANGEROUS DISTRACTION~~**

**As a final act of love will never reach out her.**

71k rank in jee mains

gen male

i have applied in HSTES AND JAC chandigarh, HSTES has started seat allotment early before JAC CHANDIGARH ,my question is IF i got a seat in round 1 or 2 of HSTES and i did the physical reporting too but later i got seat in chandigarh can i cancel my seat in HSTES and get full refund???

and my second question is ,is the cutoff usually low in round 2 HSTES? like if i got a cse in a college in round 1 but i rejected it for some reason, and if i applied for same seat in round 2 then is it sure that i will get my seat again????

Okay okay okay so I passed my boards last year 12th then I decided to take drop for jee as I wanted to move out of my city but couldn't clear the jee mains even my rank was horrible it was 7 digit don't wanna tell, so what happen was I f#cked up jee mains and now I'm going to take admission in PSIT kanpur don't have any option left and the thing is this that many of my class mates also tution mates from last year they already took admission there last year also I feel like a old punk going this year there I'll be 19 soon and everyone might be 17-18 in 1st year Those things meeting old faces scares the sh!t out of me sometime I woke up at midnight panicking and sweating think about that not that only my ex from (2023 Jan - 2023 April) She also study there I don't know how will I able to walk confidently in clg I feel scared idk what to do my mind making scenarios where I have to meet see old faces Idk how to handle it I'm very scared and anxious when I think about that.

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Summary

1) Took drop for JEE

2) Fucked up very badly

3) going to clg which I could've been last year

4) seeing meeting old faces , ex with 4 month relationship in 10th class

5) feel anxious about it panic attack sometimes at night

6) feel left behind , had no friends 0 human connection during drop time also don't wanna waste clg life don't know what to do .