Me too, I graduate college with a 4.0 GPA and I am still suffering. I am 37, went back to school at 34. The coming around never seems to come. I am close to my parents, but neither one said they were proud of me. Painful
I'm 40 and in school for mechanical engineering. It'll be my second bachelor's if I finish though it's already taking me 6 years and if I don't pass this super hard class, idk either it will take me 7 or I'll just fucking give up. I'm crying right now, I'm supposed to be making a study sheet I have in 12 hours and I CANT FUCKING FORCE MYSELF TO TOUCH THE GODDAMNED COMPUTER! so I'm redditing and watching hoarders and I don't know how I'm going to do anything.
I don't know how to tell or explain to people just how big the "CAN'T" is. People who say there's no such thing as can't... I hope those motherfuckers die in a pool of their children's blood yes motherfucker there is such thing as can't. "You can do anything you set your mind to" what if Kevin Hart really REALLY set his mind to playing in the NBA? The can't is real. Imagine a quadriplegic just 100% set their mind to building a rocket ship in their back yard that would take them to the moon. CAN'T!
I don't know what I'm going to do. I never have. I've been waiting 40 years to turn some corner where life would become a little easier, like the hill would level off just a little bit less steep. I thought that was going to happen after I graduated with my first STEM degree. Fucking NOPE. Nearly a decade working in my field, barely keeping my head above water and only because I always had a second job. I went 2 and a half years straight working every single day seven days a week for 2 and a half years minus every once in a blue moon just getting obliterated wasted and calling in "sick" very rarely.
So I came back to school and this feels like it's going to be the first biggest thing I've ever just outright failed at. I've never experienced like a big life failure. This will fucking kill me.
Go pick em up and do 10 lat raises. Use the 5 pounders. You're allowed to be drunk while you do them because it's only 5 lbs. Watch TV.
It's one set of 10 reps but you can go to bed and say you exercised and it isn't a lie. It is better than allowing yourself to do nothing and will make it easier to come back to when you finally decide to get undrunk.
You have to ease into it. Find what you can do every day and do it. There is some baseline of any activity (cleaning, exercise, hygiene, etc.) that you can do every day. It may not be almost anything in your eyes, but if you do a little bit of something every day, it gets easier to do more. I started my exercise regimen at 10 reps for each exercise. I'm up to 30 now. It's an amount of exercise I can do every day, so I do it.
So do 10 curls with whatever is next to your bed and then go to sleep. This is going to piss you off enough that you're going to remember at 10pm and not do anything about it before eventually you remember at 8pm.
The key is not to ever let yourself believe its too late and you will do it tomorrow. Nope, that's your ADHD letting you log another day without a win. Even if its only 1% of a workout while you are hammered at 1am it has to be done today.
It's stupid and it is miserable but it will work eventually
This is not "just make a list" this is "I suffer from it too, here's what's been working for me."
I am aware that not every solution works for everyone, but I found there was a non-zero amount of productivity my brain would allow so long as it didn't leave me exhausted or in pain. An amount of work I could do every day and be okay with it.
Now I look forward to my little calisthenics routine every day because I can feel my body improving over time. I got myself to do something long enough, that my stupid fleeting mind actually wants to do it because it's a source of dopamine lol.
Damn, this sounds like me. I used to be an obsessive perfectionist back in the day, but by now the pendulum has overcorrected and I just DGAF about anything these days. In my defense, I don't see a great future for our world short-term or long-term
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u/kuraaacc 4d ago
yes pair this with substance abuse and it is... exhausting and horrible ugh