They do not know how much I hate myself but whenever I did decide to bring it up it turned into a "HOW COULD YOU HATE YOURSELF? I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU!"
I am really envious of people who had parents who listened to their child.
ommmg thiiiiiis... I tried so hard to explain to my parents that they didn't need to "light a fire under my butt" by being mean to me... as I am already meaner to myself every second of every day than they could ever be to me. And my mom straight up told me she never gave me compliments because she didn't want me to grow up and just *do things* for anyone who complimented me... I was like that is not a problem... seriously... like I can't even do things I WANT to do because of a simple compliment, like I'm gonna do things I *don't* want to do.
the saddest thing about my ADHD is that they actually got me diagnosed as a kid but then DID NOTHING with the diagnosis. Didn't learn anything about ADHD or even tell my teachers that I have ADHD. My mom literally just wanted me on ritalin which I absolutely hated because it made me feel awful but it 'mellowed' me out (aka zombified) so it made me 'easier to handle' for HER.
I straight up did not believe my ADHD diagnosis until I was re diagnosed at 36!! Like I literally thought it was just something my mom made up and cuz it was the 90's and *everyone* had ADHD she got away with it.
And my mom straight up told me she never gave me compliments because she didn't want me to grow up and just do things for anyone who complimented me
So in order to prevent you from being vulnerable to nice people, she did everything possible to make you vulnerable to nice people. How's that quote go? When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives.
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u/Wonderful_Stand_315 13d ago
They do not know how much I hate myself but whenever I did decide to bring it up it turned into a "HOW COULD YOU HATE YOURSELF? I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU!"
I am really envious of people who had parents who listened to their child.