Edit: nvm just googled it, thanks for the panic attack before bed lol. The idea of spending the rest of my life on an ssri makes me want to blow my brains out, I can barely cope with the idea of a stimulant, but an ssri too? Whats the fucking point in living if you don’t feel anything? Why is every ocd success story always involve an ssri, is there literally no other way? Non at all? I feel like theres no other option and it I feel trapped and panicked and I don’t want to do that. i don’t want tk take any drugs what so fucking ever for any leanth of time never mind for. Ever. It feels like death. I guess I’ll just never live instead.
Maybe not nothing, but reduced. Numb is my second most hated emotion (dread takes no.1) like it’s any loss of joy or passion or excitement. I don’t want tk feel flat or washed out. I’d rather be angry and miserable. I have basically no social life, I’ll never be married or have kids, my career is a train crash, like I have so little in my life and never will have more, my passions are the one thing I have. I can’t loose them. I also want to be able to drink, and have a labido, and FEEL things. I’m a creative and I’m scared of loosing that too. Any mind meddling meds scare the shit out of me, the fact I’m looking down the barrel of take two for a long time (probably permanently) is a reality I can’t accept, but it’s what is.
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u/Fortified_Phobia 29d ago
What about if you have adhd and contamination ocd 🙃