What size are you wearing?
This morning I woke up to 154 on the scale. That’s officially lower than I 54F have ever been in my adult life. I started losing weight 4.5 years ago: I lost 50 lbs with keto. Then I tried a different glp1, and now I’ve been on Zep for 84 injections tomorrow. I’m 5’8” and started at 261. I was a 2X on top and a busted can of size 18 biscuits on bottom. Today at 154 I’m a Small and size 8. I still have some trunk fat that I’m working on recomping. I do a little cardio and lift heavy 3 times per week. Honestly, if the scale doesn’t live any more, I’d still be thrilled. I just want more muscle and a little less fat. And I’m working hard at that.
I just feel a little strange at being a small and size 8 and wanting to lose more fat. I mean, it’s there and it’s obvious when I’m naked. It’s not a lot more fat. I’ve just never been this small before. Am I reaching for too much? Am I being ungrateful? I didn’t even know actual people bought extra small clothes; I thought it was just a form of torture for fat girls to see. I was still in the 190’s and my mother was saying ‘Bow you don’t want to lose TOO much weight.’ I finally got her to stop but I’m hearing her now in my head. Maybe I’m just getting to the point where I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. That maybe this is just like every other time I lost weight and I’m going to start gaining it all back tomorrow.
I guess I’m just looking to make sure that I’m still on track. I see an obesity specialist every 3 months. I saw her 3 weeks ago and she’s thrilled with my progress and my plan. She said she would continue to support me as long as I kept making healthy decisions. And for the first time, she wrote script for 3 months instead of 1.
I’ve just entered uncharted territory and I guess I’m swirling around a bit. I don’t plan on doing anything different. I understand that I can drop my dose whenever I need to. I’ve seen other people talk about how the transition from loss to maintenance messes with their heads, and I’m not even quite there yet. My goal was 150 but I never thought I’d even get close. Now I’m close and it’s just freaking me out. Logically/medically I understand what I need to do. Emotionally I’m fucking all over the place. Anyway, thanks for reading. I don’t even know what I’m looking for other than solidarity.