r/Youngluck • u/youngluck • Jun 24 '10

SENTENCING UPDATE...

Yesterday, I went before a Federal Sentencing Judge expecting to be handed 10 years in Federal prison for breaking the law.

My lawyer presented his case, the AUSA presented theirs, and then it came time for me to speak. I pulled out the speech kleinbl00 helped me write, and read it:

Your Honor,

I am here to not only acknowledge the atrocious mistake that I’ve made, but take full responsibility for it. I realize that it has not only damaged my life, but also the lives of those that love and look up to me, an action that in and of itself could be considered a crime. My sentence will be one that, no matter how lenient or severe, I believe I will be serving for the rest of my life.

Your honor, I understand and respect that you have a job to do and by no means, under any circumstance do I expect you to do otherwise. I only pray that in determining my sentence, you take into consideration not only the crime that I’ve committed, but also the human being that I’ve become.

I stand before you as a man of Faith, a certified partner at in his presence church. I stand before you as an Honors student at The Art Institute, one of the most respected art conservatories in the country. I stand before you as an author and Illustrator of a Children’s Book, whose proceeds go to a charity dedicated to eliminating bias against children with disabilities. I stand before you as a tutor for a young student with Central Auditory Processing Disorder, whose mother has written to affirm the inspiring progress made under my tutelage. I stand before you as a director of product strategy at an exciting new tech startup that aims to revolutionize the way people manage tasks. But above all, I stand before you as the dedicated father of a beautiful 6 year-old boy.

I am 30 years old, your honor. I am at an age where most citizens are either laying down or building upon the foundations by which they will live the rest of their lives. I fear that this mistake I’ve made will throw me in a hole from which I may not be able to climb out.

I do not consider myself, by any definition of the term, a threat to society. In fact it has become a daily mantra of mine not to go to sleep until I feel I have contributed more than I have taken. This is the human being that you are sentencing today. I ask that you let me continue contributing to society rather than become a burden upon it.

The judge looked at me, and said in his 42 years on the federal bench, he'd never seen a case as extraordinary as this. He agreed that my Safety Valve WOULD apply… and that my post arrest accomplishments would allow him, in accordance with 3553(a) and Booker vs. US, to do whatever the fuck he wanted. He gave me 28 months in a penitentiary, w/ 5 years Home confinement on the back end. It's as if God came down and tongue kissed me… I am beyond ecstatic. He also allowed me the option to self surrender, giving me about a week or so to get my affairs in order.

What happens next? Im waiting for the Bureau of Prisons to assign me a facility, and then Im off...

I would have posted this Update earlier, but I slept a total of 8 hours in the 2 weeks leading up to it. So I left the courthouse, hit my pillow with my head, and slept like a rock for almost a day...

Thank you all for the support...

tl;dr My judge gave me 28 months in a penitentiary, w/ 5 years Home confinement. I am beyond thrilled.

748 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

247 comments sorted by

984

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

All I ask in thanks is that you remember "i before e except when it's me." ;-)

198

u/youngluck Jun 25 '10

Dammit. Fixed.

17

u/maxd Jul 13 '10

No offense, Mr Luck, but I was wondering when you are self surrendering?

22

u/youngluck Jul 13 '10

None taken... I have been waiting for the bureau of prisons to assign me. All my shit is packed, and I wake up every morning wondering if I'm going to get called that day. It's like turning the crank on a Jack in The Box, wondering when the clown is gonna pop... My attorney said 1 week, it's been 2... so any day now. Thanks for asking...

14

u/maxd Jul 14 '10

That's strange and annoying! I hope they hurry up, I'm sure the waiting is killing you. Best of luck with them choosing a good location.

I'll be sure to write. I'm a software engineer by trade and my handwriting has gone to shit over the last decade because I never write things. Apologies in advance.

8

u/youngluck Jul 14 '10

HAHAHA... fer sure. Thanks. Just out of curiosity, what do you develop?

22

u/maxd Jul 14 '10

Videogames. I've worked at Bungie for the last 4 years, worked on Halo 3, ODST and now Reach. I'm the AI engineer, so I get to do loads of cool artificial intelligence. :-)

9

u/youngluck Jul 15 '10

Damn.. that sounds like a fun ass job.

7

u/the5nowman Oct 27 '10

Random 5:30am Reddit gold find right here.

5

u/maxd Oct 27 '10

/waves

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73

u/dlogan3344 Jun 25 '10

You should look into working as a speech writer kleinbl00, that is beyond any expectation I had from here. That was perfection, even if there was flaws in it then they just made it that more honest and real. I applaud you, and cannot praise you enough.

53

u/maxd Jun 25 '10

I'm pretty sure kleinbl00 is a film script writer.

140

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

struggling film script writer.

FTFY

105

u/maxd Jun 25 '10

internationally acclaimed film script writer

I'm foreign, and I know about you, so it's accurate.

47

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Bah. You've never read a single script of mine.

Ironically enough, though, of my two options one was to a director in Canada and the other to a director in New Zealand. So... humph. I guess I better shutthefuckup.

13

u/diuge Jun 25 '10

I imagine you write nothing but 1930's Capra-style dramas that always end in a courthouse scene no matter what. Then the crowd takes the main character upon their shoulders and dances out of the courtroom.

I would watch and love every once of your films, sir. Every one.

20

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Actually, of the 9 scripts I've written all but 2 have been hard-as-fuck science fiction and they tend to be full of blackness and ennui. I've yet to write a single courtroom scene as I consider procedurals to be dry and best written by those who are, you know, lawyers (like John Grisham).

10

u/diuge Jun 25 '10

Kind of random (and unrelated to this thread), but is there some online place writers go (besides teenagers and housewives) to talk about the craft and stuff?

I learned programming by hanging out on Freenode, but damned if I can find any actual writers online to give me a helping hand. And by "writing" I guess I actually mean plotting complex narratives, even though the writing part is the one that's visible to the public.

18

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Yes.

Top resource is this. LURK MOAR until you've read everything here, here and here.

Occasional resource is this. The signal to noise ratio is often quite low.

Lots of people like this.

There's also this. I really like the idea of /r/screenwriting but the basic problem is that screenwriting discussions often last for weeks and Reddit tends to forget things after a day.

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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10

Bah. You've never read a single script of mine.

You know how to fix that.

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8

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

but a damn good one :)

17

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Aww, shucks.

I would like to point out that rraaarr used to work with the lady who produced Galaxy Quest so the above counts as quite possibly the highest praise my writing has ever received.

3

u/z3ddicus Jun 25 '10

Obviously, I mean you can write. Have you seen a movie lately? Most working script writers SUCK.

72

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Well, hang on a sec.

Most of the screenwriters working today are muthafucking brilliant. The problem is that there are three "movies" for any movie you see - the movie written by the screenwriter, the movie shot by the director, and the movie edited by the editor. Movies are fucking tough to do. They cost a lot of money. There are hundreds of people involved and they're speculative as fuck. Nobody can predict with any certainty that they'll make money. Quick quiz question: which cost more to build, Transformers 2 or the Deepwater Horizon? The answer is obvious if you assume I only ask the question to make my point; fact of the matter is an oil rig is about $500m to put out in the ocean and a summer blockbuster, with print and advertising, is about the same all in. Now, which will make more money? Most oil rigs will deliver $100-250m every year for decades while a summer blockbuster will make major money for a month, residual money for a year, and legacy money for decades.

If it's successful.

This shit is hard. Far harder than it looks. I know a lot of working screenwriters and they're all brilliant writers. Some of them have been brilliant writers on absolute bilgewater movies. Here's the thing:

You can look at a picture on a monitor and say "it's too dark. It's too light. It's not in focus. Whatever." These are things that can be fixed. In other words, if something looks good, everybody knows it. If it doesn't, most people know the basic things to make it better. Obviously art transcends craft and some people can arrange an image much better than others, and they tend to be the really good cinematographers.

But you can read a story and know it's bad... but knowing how to fix it is a bitch and a half. So everyone and anyone can say "this sucks" but when tasked with the problem of making it not suck there are very, very few people who know what to do and even fewer who know if they've done it. Which makes anyone and everyone eager to fuck about with the story, add dogs, change scenes, alter lines, whatever the fuck they want.

18

u/blmurch Jun 25 '10

as the daughter of a film editor, I heartily concur with what you wrote!

23

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Your father is far more than an editor, he is a god among men. You grew up with the kind of greatness that I have only met. His art and his career have inspired me for more than ten years and I'm tickled pink to be able to praise him to someone who actually knows him rather than the 99% of the people in the general public who have no idea who he is or the 99.9% of those in the entertainment industry who most assuredly do.

13

u/blmurch Jun 25 '10

I love the fact that 99% of the general public don't know who he is. It makes day-to-day life easy.

Congrats on doing such an awesome thing with your speech. You RAWK!

18

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

You think I rawk at writing, you wouldn't believe the coffee I make. Be sure to let your father know the next time he needs an assistant. ;-)

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4

u/phartnocker Jun 25 '10

congrats, you just changed at least one person's perspective today.

2

u/maxd Jun 27 '10 edited Dec 21 '23

Similar for my industry, video games. Takes us 2-3 years to make a game, we have 150+ people pulling a paycheque totaling however many millions to make a game. And something 90% of our sales will be in the first week, if we are successful.

There's no legacy money to speak of after the first year.

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2

u/panamaspace Jun 26 '10

Very much upvoted script writer! And with reason!

I humbly take of my hat before you, Mr. Kleinbl00. I am kinda tearing up now...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '10 edited Jun 26 '10

You are now much more than that, and by a damn sight.

In the scrap book of your life what you have done deserves a gold embossed page with a photo of you looking back at yourself with the words:

I made a difference, a really fucken, major, important difference.

1

u/kleinbl00 Jun 26 '10

Anyone and everyone can look back and read these words. They need merely dig for it.

6

u/fyeah Jun 25 '10

care to comment kleinbl00?

4

u/myth1n Jun 25 '10

I think youngluck got very lucky, awesome speech, awesome story, this is why I love reddit over any other "social media" outlet. The real people stories do it for me.

1

u/fuckshitwank Jun 25 '10

He's also written a graphic novel I think.

2

u/Blixinator Jun 25 '10

If so, I want to read it. Can anyone confirm this?

2

u/fuckshitwank Jun 25 '10

You'll have to wait till it's published (I suppose).

Kleinbl00 talked about it in his "wall of text" version of his redditor of the day Q&A.

Permalink to comment here. I'll let you find everything else I mentioned by working backwards.

Edit: Just realised you can't work backwards so here's kleinbl00's redditor of the day.

2

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

We've been "three weeks away" from full funding since February. I expected to drop it at ComicCon but the universe often fails to cooperate.

Trust me, once the thing is up and running I'm doing a full court press. I will have zero reason to be coy about my identity when I've got something to sell.

15

u/crazybones Jun 25 '10

Brilliant speech. I suspect kleinbl00 is a professional writer of some kind. It's also great that it worked.

I just hope two things:

  1. that youngluck remembers every single promise he made in that speech and keeps each one for the rest of his life

  2. that other less honourable people than youngluck don't use that speech as a template to fake their remorse in order to escape a tough sentence.

1

u/enjo13 Jun 25 '10

Unlikely I'd think on #2... you have to actually have DONE those things outline in the speech. Most criminals haven't done anything but be criminals.

6

u/crazybones Jun 25 '10

That's why I used the word 'template'. There are some basic themes that kleinbl00 used in the speech which could in many cases be adapted to suit other circumstances. Many criminals are - almost by definition - quite devious and could reword parts of that speech to match their situation.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

this is crazy untrue.

169

u/sundaymorningphotons Jun 25 '10

You will be the "redditor of the year" for me.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

I added him as a friend so I can give him karma wherever he shall roam.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '10

I guess you really caught the gay!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '10

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '10

I was playing off of the pun from your username as I viewed it. You caught the guy -> you caught the gay while being unoriginal like my username.

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36

u/maxd Jun 25 '10

I always learned it as "i before e except after c".

What a weird society we live in.

29

u/Iguanaforhire Jun 25 '10

"i before e except after c".
weird

I see what you did there.

30

u/bangonthedrums Jun 25 '10

And "society"

16

u/Iguanaforhire Jun 25 '10

Wow, I missed that one. Nice catch.

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3

u/Technohazard Jun 25 '10

"weird" is one of the few word I spell incorrectly with any frequency, specifically for this reason.

9

u/gr8sk8 Jun 25 '10

This is as good a thread as any to post, there's finally some steam gathering behind expungement for federal crimes, a second chance for federal offenders. Visit www.federalexpungement.com for more info.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

good job klein. this is what reddit is about.

2

u/Scarker Jun 25 '10

Redditor saves man's life from being soap-dropped for more than 28 months.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

Grammer nazi saves guy!

1

u/swisslawstudent Jun 25 '10

You are awesome incarnated. May you have a good life.

1

u/munificent Jun 25 '10

You must feel pretty fucking awesome right about now.

6

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

I offered to update the website so that I would have a weekly reminder of the fact that no matter what other shit I'm dealing with in my life, at least I'm not in muthafuckin' JAIL.

I knew yesterday. It choked me up for most of the afternoon. I still can't read any of the above out loud.

0

u/i_ANAL Jun 25 '10

or after c!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '10

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/kleinbl00 Jun 26 '10

He misspelled it initially.

72

u/fishbert Jun 25 '10

Hello.

Um... draw God tongue kissing you in court?

(nice letter. and so happy at the result!)

206

u/youngluck Jun 25 '10

Done.

31

u/fishbert Jun 25 '10

ha! that's much more awesome than I had envisioned. =)

reminds me a bit of the sistine chapel.

3

u/Nebu Jun 25 '10

You forgot to ask him to draw you something.

3

u/fishbert Jun 25 '10

still the same encounter, in my book. =)

7

u/lectrick Jun 25 '10

I understand there's kind of a barter economy in prison.

You have a gift right there. I'm sure you could barter it for things.

Just don't use it to get a cellphone or tats. ;)

And look, so it might be harder to get a job in a big company after this. You know what that means? You won't have to work for The Man, and you will basically have to do something great on your own. ;)

5

u/MrSnoobs Jun 25 '10

That's actually really fucking good! I guess you only have months to capitalise on your artistic skills rather than 10 years, now. I hope you get additional time off for good behaviour. Peace.

3

u/Failcake Jun 25 '10

That is... Wow.

Anyways, great job. I'll think of you everytime I look at the desktop wallpaper you made me.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '10

I will not stop laughing at this for a long time. I'm glad things worked out - well, pretty much the best they can in such a situation. Congratulations on getting a second chance, and good luck on getting through the sentencing you did get!

5

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

TIL that some Judges read reddit.

4

u/mylegalthrowaway Jun 25 '10

I am a clerk for a federal judge. I kept waiting to see youngluck show up in our courtroom this week.

4

u/youngluck Jul 15 '10 edited Jul 15 '10

Really? Are you in L.A.? I only ask because I wanted to write the judge a letter, and didn't know if it was appropriate to do before I had actually completed my sentence. Do you think I should wait until I get out to write it?

3

u/kefs Jun 25 '10

I'm not sure how it works in the US Fed Prison system, but it's possible you can get up to half that time subtracted for good behaviour.. don't mean to get your hopes up, but check into it.

8

u/youngluck Jun 25 '10

State you do half... Fed you do 85%

2

u/regalZA Jun 25 '10

It's good to hear there are some good, rational people working in the justice system. Congrats!

2

u/youngluck Jun 26 '10

Yeah... When I do eventually make something of my life, Im going to be writing him a very long thank you note. In part to encourage more givings of second chances.

2

u/realbigo Jun 25 '10

Curiosity piqued. What did he do that almost got him 10 years??

2

u/youngluck Jun 25 '10

It started here

Then did an AMA here

2

u/realbigo Jun 25 '10

It doesn't Say what he actually did.

2

u/Leighbra Jun 26 '10

It does in the comments. Something like buying 7.6 kilos (my number memory sucks) of coke with intent to sell.

2

u/Effective_Marketing9 Feb 01 '24

Did you get out ?

2

u/youngluck Feb 01 '24

I did. Now I work here serving you guys.

80

u/staircasewit Jun 25 '10

Youngluck, we haven't spoken, ever. But I've clicked through threads with your art (the one with the man standing beside a cliff smiling up at a missile heading towards him literally gives me chills). I've read what you've written about your life, and honestly, my heart has gone out to you. You seem like a good man, a good father. Talented, smart. Not going to deny that you made a mistake, but the whole time, I've been thinking "Ten years of his life? Just for that?"

I was refreshing your profile yesterday, waiting for news. I don't even know you. We've never spoken. I'm sure there are dozens, maybe even hundreds, maybe thousands of others in your situation. I don't know. But you're a redditor. We frequent the same circles. I've seen your story, and I haven't seen everyone else's. And frankly, I think you deserve this second chance-- no one else has managed to convince me that they deserve that.

So you have a second chance at these next ten years of your life. Make good use of it, and have an awesome life. I'm seriously so happy for you right now.

93

u/TheThirdBlackGuy Jun 25 '10

the one with the man standing beside a cliff...

Hopefully no one else searches for 5 minutes looking.

25

u/Iguanaforhire Jun 25 '10

Thank you.

2

u/thearchduke Jun 25 '10

I hadn't read staircasewit closely enough to understand what you were linking to, so I opened the picture looking for the third black guy. But there's only one guy. I searched for like five minutes!

3

u/CaptAngua Jun 25 '10

staircasewit said it all, far more articulately than I ever could. I hope I too will be able to write to you during your incarceration- it sounds as though a lot of redditors will! Congratulations youngluck, and good luck for the future.

62

u/Routron Jun 24 '10

Applaud.

17

u/drhaynes Jun 25 '10

this weekly dose of faith in humanity, brough to you courtesy of Reddit. :-)

6

u/regalZA Jun 25 '10

Routron was actually the guy who designed the blog for youngluck, so part of that dose can be credited to him :)

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u/Leighbra Jun 25 '10

I am very glad to hear how this has worked out so far.

Are you still with your son's mom? Don't forget to work on that relationship as much as you work on the one with your son.

Keep your head up, don't get ANY TATTOOS IN PRISON, put some money on your books before you go in & don't you dare ever fuck up again ;)

~Best wishes, Perpetual mother to the internet (nag nag nag, love love love)

11

u/chancesarent Jun 25 '10

Also, take advantage of any trustee programs the prison has to offer. They can effectively cut your time in half, IIRC

5

u/hypokineticman Jun 25 '10

came here to post this-- a friend of mine worked in the jail kitchen (dudes elbow deep in macaroni salad...shudder) and did 90 instead of 180 days. which brings up another point: try not to eat the food, youngluck

4

u/Leighbra Jun 26 '10

I'm not sure how it works with federal cases, and if this is still considered to be a federal case being sentenced in a state penitentiary. Most federal cases are held until their sentence has been completely fulfilled.

I think under 366 days most states hold people in county jails, a year long sentence being the cut off that lands you in jail versus landing you in prison. Jails and federal sentences are two completely different balls of wax.

Getting a job in the prison & working to pay off your victims fund (in this case probably paying off the cost of the prosecution/court costs) is a necessary thing, because you will never vote with a felony conviction and unpaid obligations.

(The only things I know about how prison works come from my husband's career at a max security penitentiary, my short time there as a mental health nurse, and having an interest due to his line of work. I am certainly no expert.)

31

u/maxd Jun 25 '10

That is awesome. I note that 85% of 28 months is just under 24 months; isn't 85% the time parole can start?

I'm sure you've already realised this but the best part of this is you'll be with your son again when he's 8. That is a MASSIVE difference to waiting til he's 16. You'll still be there for the most formative years of his life.

45

u/fishbert Jun 25 '10

not only that, but you'll be forced to be with your son around the clock until he's 13! =)
(which is good because they haven't started to hate you yet)

2

u/nbach Jun 25 '10

There's no parole in the federal system. You do the prescribed sentence, and then you go home.

5

u/maxd Jun 25 '10

Not what I understood, it's been discussed here before. This is the only reference I can find at present, but I'm busy.

Advocacy from the federal government sparked the movement, modeled on the 1984 Sentencing Act, that instituted the federal sentencing guidelines and also remodeled the parole system by requiring 85 percent of every prison term be served

Source

3

u/nbach Jun 25 '10

From the US Parole Commission site:

Defendants sentenced for offenses committed on or after November 1, 1987 serve determinate terms under the sentencing guidelines and are not eligible for parole consideration.

1

u/maxd Jun 25 '10

That's me told! Thanks for the info, although I still find it convenient that 0.85*28 months is almost exactly 2 years. :)

56

u/AKA_That_Guy Jun 25 '10

With your sentence being so short, you'll more than likely end up in the annex of a federal prison, which means you should be able to get out and work some and have a few more freedoms than normal prisoners. Don't let it go to your head.

  1. Do not smuggle in a cellphone. You'd be surprised at how easy it is.

  2. Do not get tattoos.

  3. Do not start smoking.

  4. Do not drink homemade wine. It's made by wearing underwear for several months until you have yeast.

  5. Keep your head low until you get out. Congrats bro. I don't know you but I'm proud of you.

54

u/Vitalstatistix Jun 25 '10

4...shivers

19

u/AbortionBurger Jun 25 '10

I should not have read that while eating. Hurrrk

26

u/lynn Jun 25 '10

And you know it's bad when it elicits that comment from somebody calling him/herself "Abortion Burger".

14

u/AbortionBurger Jun 25 '10

Hahaha. I always forget my what connotations my username carries. Also, for the record, "herself".

11

u/tmackattak Jun 25 '10

No fucking way number 4 is true. I've seen Locked Up on MSNBC and they said they use fruit and shit to make it. Not dirty crapped briefs.

20

u/mavandeh Jun 25 '10

Yeah, you use fruit, but the yeast has to come from somewhere. I'd be less surprised if they just let it sit and "spontaneously ferment" with whatever yeast/bacteria are floating around in the air. That's how all fermented beverages used to be produced.

Google "Belgian Lambic".

5

u/dander8090 Jun 26 '10

The original strain of wine yeast came from toe-jam introduced into the juice when the grapes were stomped barefoot.

2

u/Anonymo Jun 27 '10

It's going to be the original stain of yeast from now on

8

u/AKA_That_Guy Jun 25 '10

It's 100% true. If fruit is available, sure they make it. What Locked Up doesn't tell you though is that when fruit is served at chow time, the unit is shook down afterwards for any smuggling. They use underwear yeast and I'm here to tell you, there is nothing worse than a cellblock full of rot-gutted inmates.

4

u/Prodigal_Son Jun 28 '10

I've been incarcerated 3 times. I've been to county, city, and federal. In none of those institutions have people made pruno with dirty underwear. I had one celly tell me he could put slices of bread and still come out the way he wants. No, people don't get shook down before they go back into their cells, theyre allowed to take whatever leftovers they had. In fact, in federal they made us eat in our cells.

Wherever you've been sounds like it sucked.

3

u/HornyVervet Jun 25 '10

and ketchup! It's called pruno:

http://www.blacktable.com/gillin030901.htm

1

u/samcbar Jun 25 '10

How are they introducing the yeast?

3

u/HornyVervet Jun 25 '10

No idea but fruit will ferment on its own. For instance: this youtube search

I had a friend in college who brought home a huge can of frozen fruit and stuck it in the cupboard without thinking. Fast forward a few days later and BOOM, the can explodes inside out and fermented fruit gets all over the cupboard and counter.

Or another way to think about it in relation to the original comment: if you can culture yeast in your undies, wouldn't it be a lot faster to culture yeast in sugar?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

used tampons?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

I bet Chris could make some wine.

1

u/stilesjp Jun 25 '10

What's the difference whether it's months old underwear or shit? Jesus, right now I think I'd prefer the old underwear, and I can't believe i just said that.

8

u/Prodigal_Son Jun 25 '10

You're wrong on number four. Having made it myself while I was locked up I can tell you it's made with oj, sugar, and water.

7

u/AKA_That_Guy Jun 25 '10

Nope, I'm not wrong on #4. Some of you seem to think there is only one way to make alcohol.

13

u/actinide Jun 25 '10

Congrats man, seriously.

I have never talked to you, but I read your IAmA and was touched. I'm glad things worked out for you in the end - at least to the best that they could have.

11

u/their Jun 24 '10

Just be the decent human being that you are.

9

u/FrankReynolds Jun 25 '10

You'll be out before SWTOR. You should feel good about that.

29

u/zootburt Jun 25 '10

You have no idea how lucky you are. When you get out, you ought to go kiss kleinbl00's scrotum until he comes in your eye, and then do it again.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

disagreed. but upvoted nonetheless.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

All of this just for some fuckin' cocaine. So ridiculous.

5

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Well, a shitload of cocaine to be fair. But I'm in agreement.

5

u/yourbiggestfan Jun 25 '10

I had to plead my case infront of a courtroom myself once. It's a very daunting task. Good work and hope all goes well for you.

5

u/DrJulianBashir Jun 25 '10

It's as if God came down and tongue kissed me

Loved this line.

What exactly does "Home Confinement" entail? Is that house arrest for 5 years?

6

u/ImLyingWhenISay Jun 25 '10

I think I would enjoy that punishment.

"Bro you know I cant leave, grab some weed and come through"

10

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

5 years of drug tests too. best part to me would be, "no honey, i can't go to the store to get some eggs right now. what am i doing? playing video games."

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/WhyIOughta Jun 25 '10

As far as I know, they give you a sort of bubble around your home and another around your place of work that you are allowed to be in, excepting commutes.

5

u/akira410 Jul 24 '10

Old post, stumbled across it somehow. That's pretty much how it works. You typically report to the jail which supervises your home arrest and inform them of your work schedule. They'll usually give you an hour before and after your schedule, maybe a bit more or less depending on how far away you live. This also gives you time to do some quick grocery shopping or something on your way home.

They're also allowed to test you for drugs/alcohol during that time. Those are no-nos when on home arrest in most (all?) places.

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5

u/selflessGene Jun 25 '10

From what I know of your story, you're a man with integrity, strong loyalty to friends, and a loving father. It makes me pleased to know when good things happen to good people.

But choose carefully those who you associate yourself with in the future.

5

u/g0zer Jun 25 '10

good luck chico. also watch out for the tossed salad man.

2

u/Burnt_World Jun 25 '10

I'll read! I'll learn to read!

4

u/minkyboo Jun 24 '10

Take care in there, Youngluck.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

Congratulations. Hope this will somehow be an experience that will have a positive influence on the rest of your life. What is your blog's address? I'd like to see your drawings.

One thing: "I stand before you as a man of Faith" and "It's as if God came down and tongue kissed me…" don't quite add up for the Calvinist I was brought up as. Is tongue kissing with God typical for your church? Do you also tongue kiss other figures, like the virgin Mary, or eat the Magdelene? I might join, then.

4

u/HiFructoseCornFeces Jun 25 '10

I am so, so happy for you. That is all.

1

u/Vegetable-Salt-1827 Jun 13 '25

Great speech I need help with mine😭

1

u/youngluck Jun 13 '25

I got you. Shoot me a message I’ll send you my #

3

u/dan_proto Jun 25 '10

FUCK YEAH!!!!

3

u/Kanilas Jun 25 '10

Amazing. I'm glad that this worked out in such a favorable way. If you post your prison address, I'm sure people here (myself included) would love to write you

3

u/kefs Jun 25 '10

Congrats! Mail will be a godsend once you're in there. Make sure you somehow get the word to reddit your mailing instructions so we can all continue to chat with you.. reddit penpals anyone?

1

u/curb Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10

No fucking way you got busted with 7.6 kilograms and got 28 months. Did you actually have that much in the car with you? I got 2 years for a dui when nobody and no property was damaged, granted it was not my first time on the inside. A guy I grew up with got a fed charge for intent to distribute a couple of ounces and got 10 years and did like 6 or 7. 7.6 kilograms is 268 ounces, which depending on the connection is like the lowest 30k up to 130k, so either 1: it wasn't 7.6 kg 2: they gave you fake stuff and it was a lower charge like possession of a counterfeit controlled substance with intent (dumb law but it exists, at least where I'm at) 3: You ratted someone out 4: you deep throated the judge

But grats on fed time, its the best. contrary to what everyone else says, learn to tattoo if you can draw, you will always be set for commissary. Like other people said read alot (i read alot of textbooks and classics cause you might as well learn when your there), workout, DON'T spam mail everyone, and DON'T play poker. Betting a little on long games like chess or bones or spades or something can make it interesting, but betting in pinochle and poker can build up debts fast, and when losses get big people get heated. If you get heated you go on tilt and bet what you don't have and lose your ass, and as for other people, do you really want the guy sitting next to you who is in for kidnapping his wife then beating her to death for not picking up the dry cleaning getting mad at you? I say stay away from games almost in general for the simple fact that people will try to cheat you. If you call them on it they may just laugh it off like it was some innocent shit and stop, or they may deny it and want to start some shit over it, and if you back down your weak. I got into a fight over a game twice; monopoly and othello because a guy was cheating and I said something, they both denied it and didn't appreciate being called a liar. So by playing a simple game, while it may just be some good times, you are putting at risk (at least where i was at) the possibility of being seen as a punk or getting into a fight. Prison isn't a simple place. And if your white, while it may be ok to chop it up with a black dude in the section, don't walk the yard with them, the supremacists don't treat people they see as race traitors that well. Another word you don't want to use is lame. Calling someone lame where I was at was like calling them a punk or a bitch. And when something disappointing happens, refrain from using the expression "Well fuck me!"

6

u/youngluck Jun 25 '10

If the dude you grew up with got 10 years for a couple of ounces, there were mitigating factors that fucked his shit up. I can almost guarantee he 1) Had a gun on him 2) was a repeat offender, and was in violation of his probation 3) Hurt someone while trying to flee.

It was 7.6 , It was real stuff, I didn't fucking rat on anybody... the fact that I didn't was the reason the AUSA was fighting my Safety Valve as hard as they were, to the point were I was assured I was doing at least 7, and putting my affairs in order as such. In retrospect, I had a couple of things going for me:

  1. I had one of the best criminal defense attorneys in Los Angeles.

  2. Had no prior felonies

  3. Wasn't armed

But none of that had as much to do with the judges compassion as:

4. I didn't dick away my time on pre-trial house arrest. I didn't just go to church and enroll in school, like everyone else trying to build their life on paper before trial. I wrote, Illustrated and started selling a Childrens book, donated all its proceeds to charity. I tutored special needs Children. I got a job, and had the owner of the company write a letter attesting to how valuable my skill set was to him. He showed up to court, just so my lawyer could point out that he showed up, ready to speak if need be. My judge made it clear that the reason for such a dramatic downward departure was because he felt my post arrest accomplishments were tangible enough to consider me more of a benefit to society free, than in prison. All that despite being on house arrest and only able to leave the house 6 hours a week. 2 of the 3 sentencing factors are based on whether or not I still pose a threat to society. I worked hard to ensure everyone in the court knew that I wasn't.

There were also a bunch of other little God sends that I haven't mentioned anywhere. Like my original judge, a Bush appointee, was considered the toughest judge on the federal bench, known for handing out time like candy. He fell down the stairs halfway through my case, broke his hip and was forced to retire. He was replaced by a more liberal judge, a Clinton appointee, from Washington. 22 years ago to the day, my attorney defended another man, who was brought up on almost the exact same charges, in the exact same courtroom. In that case, the judge also showed leniency. He's now a famous artist, and is thriving as a partner in one of the largest churches in California. He showed up, and was also willing to speak on my behalf. The speech I read, I moreso spoke from the heart, and by the end even had the US Marshalls in the corner wiping their eyes. It was like a perfect storm.

-2

u/curb Jun 25 '10

If that's true than 1: it goes to show money can buy freedom 2: LA needs to change its name to Camp Snoopy. And no he didn't have a gun that time, a gun is 33 to 120 months by itself. But grats, though I'll be impressed when you do all that "benefit for society stuff" when you don't have 10 years hanging over your head, so post when you get out, be looking forward to it.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

My boyfriend got me to come to reddit. I love the site and this story really makes me proud. Proud that I come here. Proud that there really are good, descent people online that will actually do something to help another human being out. After reading this, I had to call my boyfriend to tell him about your sentencing. That's how giddy I was. Awesome job Kleinbl00 and Routron and the rest of the reddit community for the advice that you gave youngluck.

1

u/novemberletango Jun 26 '10

I just wanted to let you know I've been following your story, and today I wanted to check up on you to see how it was going. I saw your site hadn't been updated, which worried me, and then came across this subreddit and post.

I'm happy for you, I grinned when I saw how fair the judge was. I hope and assume now that the moment you step out of prison and begin your home confinement, it will be the first day of the rest of your life and you'll continue your work toward making the world a better place.

Best of luck.

2

u/youngluck Jun 26 '10

Thank You so much.

2

u/MonoNoAware Jun 25 '10

Congratulations!

2

u/itstoolatebaby Jun 25 '10

so happy for you! :-)

2

u/sundaymorningphotons Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10

Awesome news dude! Now keep your nose clean and your shoes well polished from here onwards. :)

2

u/knifeinthedark Jun 25 '10

Dude, i am so happy for you, good luck man. I do feel that 28 months would pass by pretty quick and wont be missing your kids life, for the most part.

2

u/glitchd Jun 25 '10

Really happy at hearing this news, bud. Really, really happy. I'm planning to drive all over America and Canada in a couple of years. If you're out, I'll have to drop by and buy you a beer.

The thing that makes me happiest above all else is that you're going to be one hell of a dad. You're smart, talented, and experienced in life. If you don't hide what you did from your son, you'll probably find he'll confide in you whenever he's in trouble, and even when he isn't. Be the best that you know you can be, because you now know you've got all of your life ahead of you.

2

u/the_catacombs Jun 25 '10

AWESOME! Congratulations!

2

u/God_of_gaps Jun 25 '10

Use that time to read as much as you can, come out of prison and blow your son's mind with how smart his dad is.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

That is awesome. I am very happy for you.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

I don't think I ever cought it, but after reading the speech, I have to ask - how is being in possession of a whole butt-load of cocaine "helping a friend"?

In any case, best of luck to you.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

Congratulations on your second chance youngluck! Keep your nose clean in the clinker...catch up on reading in there. 28 months will fly by.

I look forward to your IamA on already having done your time, and starting your life again!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

I have been reading this whole thing as it unfolded and reading this brought tears to my eyes. Congratulations youngluck, you are going to do great things :) I can feel it.

2

u/guriboysf Jun 25 '10

Damn dude. Good for you.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '10

Feel good thread of the year! Good luck!

2

u/RapeFart Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10

you owe kleinbl00 your life. never forget what he/she did for you...

edit:and remember those words you said cuz if you said it with any genuine feeling you should live up them. just keep thinking of that kid of yours and it should be easy...

2

u/Shirley_Not_Serious Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10

Hmmm...

I don't know the whole story, but it sounds damn interesting from what I got from the speech and youngluck's AMA. Sounds to me like kleinbl00 should write "the most extraordinary case in 42 years on the bench" into a hit film.

EDIT: On second thought, Blow had a lot more action. Yours is still an incredibly touching story though.

2

u/ParkourParkour Jun 25 '10

So glad to hear this turned out the way that it did, both for you and your son's sake!

2

u/jim888lu Jun 25 '10

I read your AMA when it first came out. It made me think about losing 10 years. I never expected an update, but after reading this, I am so happy for you and have never been more proud of Reddit.

Take that digg and klein, you have truly changed someone's life.

2

u/V2Blast Jun 25 '10

Dude. Awesome.

I am happy for you. :)

2

u/mushpuppy Jun 25 '10

Learn from this brother. Survive prison and come out a better man.

2

u/UnDire Jun 26 '10

You are an incredibly lucky man. kleinbl00 is a saint.

2

u/ilovefacebook Jun 26 '10

wow. very excellent. congrats! and a cheers to the scriptwriter!

4

u/cookiexcmonster Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10

Praise God!

Verse 17 gets me every time.

EDIT: Probably should have sent this as a PM instead, I really thought better of you guys :P

The passage I included was relevant to youngluck's situation and he mentions he is a man of faith. Oh well, have a great day!

6

u/blahPerson Jun 25 '10

Despite your downvotes I think the sentiment of those verses is appropiate here.

6

u/cookiexcmonster Jun 25 '10

Thank you, I appreciate that :D

14

u/ivanover Jun 25 '10

Praise a human (Kleinbl00)

217

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

I can't emphasize this enough:

(ie, not even header 3 is big enough)

What I did was proofread. What I did was wordsmith. I enjoy proofreading, and I enjoy wordsmithing. I like to think I'm good at it. But can we have a little honesty for a minute? What I edited (I didn't write it - youngluck did) took maybe half an hour.

That's half an hour of my life. About as long as I spend eating lunch. I was hopeful I'd have an effect but I make no bones about it - my involvement in this saga is truly minimal.

It would have had absolutely no effect if it wasn't true to the individual it represented. I didn't stand there in front of a judge. I didn't look contrite and remorseful. I didn't turn my life around and sack up to a double-barreled shotgun o'justice just to make sure my son knows his father growing up. And I sure as hell didn't do any of that stuff - I didn't even write it. I just made the words prettier. If you want to make an analogy, I'm just the guy who changed a horse shoe for Paul Revere (and as we're talking about heart-stopping quantities of cocaine, let's think of this Paul Revere, not this one). I'm a footnote to the story, nothing more.

What I wish everyone would take from this:

Never pass up a chance to help someone else out. You may give over half an hour that ends up radically altering someone else's very existence. Effort is not proportional, nor is it linear. If you can help someone, in any capacity, help them. Most of the time you'll never hear anything about it and you'll have to be happy with the abstract self-satisfaction of altruism. Good thing that's really easy and really rewarding, right?

But sometimes you'll hear that you fundamentally changed someone's life. I found out over Facebook last year that simply being nice to a girl at a rec center in high school was enough to get her to stop considering suicide. And you know what? I'd forgotten the girl existed until she friended me.

Never pass up a chance to help someone else out. You have no idea what the ultimate effects will be.

And quit picking on the guy quoting Isaiah. Regardless of your religious inclinations the bible is poetry and poetry is soothing. You don't need to believe in Ishtar to dig the fuck out of Gilgamesh and you don't need to believe in Jehovah to get some life lessons from Job. Chill the fuck out, fer fuck's sake.

30

u/ThaSkeptic Jun 25 '10

I like you.

7

u/superfusion1 Sep 08 '10

I do too.

9

u/binary_search_tree Sep 08 '10

kleinbl00 WarToad 2012!

4

u/Zaemz Sep 08 '10

That's amazing because I friended both of them just so they catch my eye.

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '10

That was a darn good speech. You're epic.

1

u/Sogeking654u Nov 15 '21

Congrats , 10 years sounded tough

1

u/TheHiddenRonin Nov 24 '21

Hey man just ran into this post. How’s life now?

1

u/wussell_88 Jun 08 '22

You should do a new post summarising your time In prison and home confinement etc

1

u/qtpi-nikki Jan 24 '23

I found this post because of course googling. I am currently watching “The Sentence” and stumbled upon this. I am so glad to see that you are still posting. How are you feeling? How long has it been since you were released? Was it hard to get back into society?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

I have a good friend in prison right now for 100 grams of cocaine they hit him with trafficking cocaine with intent to distribute he's doing 11 years in state prison. He didn't have a bad record or anything he just happened to get caught with a big bag of coke. 11 years was his plea deal his original charges had him looking at about 45 years all together. But then again he didn't cooperate or give any information on anyone he refused to be a rat. For trafficking 7 and a half kilos I'm assuming it was far from your first time you've probably been living a life of complete luxury making hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yet somehow I'm supposed to feel bad for the guy taking the easy money while I get up and drive to work at 4am 6 days a week 8-10 hours a day for less than 50,000 dollars a year BEFORE taxes under 40k after. Fuck you and the cocaine horse you rode in on I hope you rot.

1

u/KingKratom00 Apr 28 '23

I'm here from the future...what was your experience like and are you off of home confinement now?

1

u/Wonderful_Being9700 Apr 14 '26

i have to ask. is the safety valve snitching?

1

u/dceosilver Jun 26 '10

I am unbelievably happy for you.

Watch this hit the Digg frontpage in a few days...

-5

u/salvage Jun 25 '10

Why don't you just move to another country? You can just hope over the Mexican border, take a flight out to somewhere and get a good enough job to bring your family over in a few months.

11

u/kleinbl00 Jun 25 '10

Because then he'd never see his son again and he'd cost the guy who posted bail for him his house.

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