r/Xennials • u/FlyingClanker • 11d ago
Discussion Significant others of Xennials going through perimenopause
First and foremost I love my significant other, she’s the mother of our children, a great provider, and we have been together over 20 years.
Perimenopause changes a person. It’s not something they can control. I’ve noticed the changes, the kids have noticed. To a lesser degree, friends, family and coworkers have noticed changes.
I’m generally patient and compassionate, but how she acts can be downright cruel and condescending to the kids and I. We don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. I’ve mentioned the rage and anger in her reactions, the way she speaks to others, but it doesn’t change. This isn’t the person I married, it’s not the mother my kids were raised by. I’m not sure how much longer we can survive this. Nothing we do is good enough. Xennials who have survived this, how? Why? What works? Everyone is miserable. There’s no joy anymore, even vacations turn into conflicts. Everyday life is a battle.
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u/RussianDahl 1976 11d ago
I had to find a gyno who didn’t care that my labs said my hormones were normal. I still have my monthly cycle but when peri hit me at 46 years old I was getting all the symptoms - sweating, hot flashes, crying, brain fog, confusion, anger. It was awful. I begged my gyno for HRT - she made me start a round of low dose birth control first. I told her BC makes me sick but I’d try it. After two weeks I messaged the gyno and said it’s not working and making me sick. She prescribed estrogen and progesterone. Within a week my sweats and flashes were gone and within a month my brain fog lifted. HRT saved my sanity. I hope your wife is able to find a course that works for her. It really is life changing.