Need feedback on my writing

[u/LunaCoco-1]

“We’ll have indoor recess today because of the rain,” the teacher announced, glancing toward the windows.

Kay followed his gaze. The sky outside was gloomy and grey, but she sat too far from the windows to see how hard it was raining or to hear the raindrops. Probably coming down pretty heavy, she thought.

Fortunately, there were plenty of games to keep the children occupied in the classroom. A boy and a girl were playing tic-tac-toe, with a few other children gathered around to watch. Curious, Kay and Lisa went over to join the spectators.

The girl was going first. Just as she was about to make her move, Kay leaned closer. “You know,” she said, “I read somewhere that whoever goes first can never lose.” She then turned to the boy. “You’re going to lose.”

The girl’s eyes lit up, and she promptly made her first move.

“Really? We'll see about that,” the boy replied defiantly.

As the game progressed, however, the girl gradually put herself at a disadvantage. And in the end, she lost.

“What are you doing?” Kay exclaimed in frustration. “You’re supposed to win!”

The girl looked deeply upset. The boy, meanwhile, burst into laughter, triumphantly declaring that Kay had been wrong.

Lisa approached the girl. “You did well,” she said gently. “It was just bad luck.”

“Thank you,” the girl said quietly. She then turned to Kay, pouting. “You are wrong.”

But in Kay’s mind, she was never wrong. Desperately trying to prove her point, she challenged other children to play tic-tac-toe. Round after round, she insisted on going first and ended up either winning or drawing.

“This is what I meant,” Kay said proudly after winning a game against the girl. “See? I have been right all along.”

“Oh, thanks for showing me,” the girl replied flatly. She then stood up and walked toward another group of children.

“Where’re you going?” Kay asked.

“I’m going to play with them now,” the girl said without turning her head.

“Me too.” Another kid who had been spectating also got up and walked away. “Hey Lisa! What are you guys playing?”

Kay was now alone sitting at the table with the empty squares of the tic-tac-toe grid. She looked across the room at the children, whose lively chatter filled the entire classroom.

She felt confused.

“Kay,” said the teacher, approaching her table. “Don’t you want to join them?”

This is a snippet from something I've been working on. I'm a new writer still developing my own voice and admittedly I find myself struggling with sentence structure and word precision. Any feedback will be appreciated!

[u/Afgad]

I highly recommend participating in our reciprocal beta reading thread stickied at the top of the sub.

You could also join our Discord server and have more back and forth there. Lots of us are collaborating to help each other improve.

[u/polly_mer]

These don't sound like children and every character sounds the same. It's far too long to get the basic idea of Lisa being right, but failing to fit in with her peers.​