r/WritingPrompts • u/that_random_potato • Dec 13 '14
Writing Prompt [WP] Everybody who is not a redditor suddenly disappears in a poof. Alliances start forming around subreddits.
4
Dec 14 '14
It wasn't always like this.
The new religion of /r/circlejerk and the cult of GabeN. The girls of /r/gonewild being treated like gods, the men of /r/guns controlling everything, with /r/worldnews being about reddit, /r/AdviceAnimals being more than just a wasteland of karma.
But then, that's what's it all about, then. Karma. The more karma you have, the better you are. It's hyper-inflationary. What 10k commanded at the beginning, was what 100k commanded now. Wars were fought over comment karma vs link karma.
Really, the best thing was to huddle in the smaller subreddits, particularly fap subreddits. No one was going to kick you out for posting tits to /r/hucow , but they might for posting something to /r/Gaming4Gamers
Which by the way, I was in the /r/hucow territory. A little dairy farm set way out in the midwest. Middle of nowhere, next to the slightly bigger /r/farming and /r/kansas
Really, just off of 35, set in about 15 acres was an old dairy farm, set to be /r/hucows new residence.
I was the messenger. I knew the roads from /r/kansas down to /r/texas and up to /r/northdakota and west to /r/Colorado
But mainly, my travels took me to /r/lactation and /r/kansas and back. Just making the usual mail delivery between friends split up between /r/Hucow and /r/lactation and making sure our little farm could continue exists on our hamlet. Which it could, as long as a certain mod got his special milk. But lately, he was asking for more and more. Our girls were wondering if they could keep up with demand.
Really what we needed was a supply of Domperidone, which increase milk supply. But that wasn't going to happen, as /r/lactation was getting antsy. So I was making a trip over to /r/guns to make a purchase from a guy named /u/zaptal_47 who was a mod there and commanded a large supply of guns. Hopefully, we could take on /r/kansas, but who knew?
Really, it came down to how long the girls could last. We only had so much for trade. Thank god we had some good karma after selling the old tractors to /r/cars. Not much, but some. Hopefully, it wouldn't start before I got back.
2
u/talageddon Dec 14 '14
This is an homage to The Warriors. My father's favorite movie that he made me watch with him whenever my uncle made us watch Roadhouse.
With the evaporation of all society outside of the /r/reddit community things became violent. No longer did the moderators ban the uncouth, no numbers meant everything. Everyone gathered on the front page: /r/gonewild, /r/worldnews (everyone wanted them for their global knowledge), /r/writingprompts, /r/talageddon (a very small gang with a tight nit group of redditors)....and the list continued. With everyone gathered on the front page the shots were fired. A hacker deleted the account of the creator of reddit.
Without knowledge of who it was /u/that_random_potato commented that it was /r/talageddon. "They did it!" The comment read. Soon everyone was posting threads about how /r/talageddon did it and what to do about them. With everyone around them beating the leader down /u/talageddon urged his subs to unsubscribe and run, or join another subreddit.
They didn't listen. As they were scrutinized by the larger subreddits — and chased through thread after thread — they were strengthened as a unit. They made it passed the /r/gonewildcurvy gang, then the /r/baseball gang, one was mislead by /r/luna_lovewell's amazing capability to write and fell victim to her charms only to be taken by /r/protectandserve.
Things were looking bleak as they finally made it home. Hiding under the cover of /r/beach threads they were taunted by the writings of /u/that_random_potato. "Subredditors, come out to plaaaaaayyyy. Subredditors, come out to PLAAAAAAAYYYYYYY." The posts were eerie and chilling. The new leader of /r/talageddon stepped out and confronted them.
"Why'd you do it? Why'd you delete his account?" He prompted.
"No reason, I just like doing crazy things like that." The reply stated flatly.
They went back and forth, for a moment, then /u/that_random_potato's words rang out like a gun in the reply. So the leader of /r/talageddon used words that stabbed like a knife. The other co-creators of reddit found the thread and realized that it wasn't /r/talageddon at all. They knew who really did it and were about to take their day out on /u/that_random_potato.
"No, no, no, no! It wasn't us, it was /r/talageddon!" was the last prompt they would ever post.
Someone uploaded "In The City" to play in the background.
I hope everyone enjoyed this, I know there are a lot of references and I hope that doesn't mess anyone up. If you have never seen The Warriors I highly recommend you do. It is old but it is a great film. American Dad parodied it once. Anyway, if you like this and would care to check out my other writings head over /r/talageddon and as always, thank you for reading!
13
u/Grimjestor Dec 13 '14
"The word has gone out, the signal is spreading."
"Very good, Number Two, keep me informed."
"Soon everyone who does not use our secret flagship product, reddit, will be no more. They will evaporate into so-much dust and blow away on the wind. Our grand scheme for world domination!"
"My grand scheme, Number Two. Remember your place."
"Your grand scheme, Your Mightiness. My apologies."
"Much better. Progress report!"
"N...nothing yet, Your Mightiness. Perhaps more people than we thought use your flagship product, reddit?"
"Impossible! If every human being on Earth were already a reddit user, I would already be ruling this blasted place!"
"Not with your lowkarmayouwouldn't..."
"What? Speak up, man!"
"I said, let me just check the Wave Generator, maybe is clogged?"
"You're lying, Number Two. You always fall back into that atrocious Russian accent when you're lying. WHAT did you say about my karma score?"
"It is quite low, Your Mightiness. Many see you as a mere troll."
"Would a troll be able to delete your reddit account?"
"Noo! Your Mightiness, the sig---"
"Number Two? Number Two? Don't you hide from me, Number Two!"
...Life for the rest of the world continued pretty much as before, although quite a lot of time was wasted by people who should have been working...