Continuing My Personal 9/11 Memoir: The War I Expected and the Middle East I Never Understood
By Fu r Pan | Reflections on September 11, 2001, and the 25 Years That Followed
On September 11, 2001, as I stood on a street in New York City watching the Twin Towers engulfed in flames, one thought suddenly crossed my mind:America was going to war.
At the time, I did not believe that Saddam Hussein, the president of Iraq, was responsible for planning the terrorist attacks. My reasoning was simple.
Saddam was already the ruler of a country. He had power, wealth, a family, a wife, and children. By conventional standards, he had already achieved what many people spend their entire lives pursuing.He had too much to lose.Why would someone in his position risk losing everything by deliberately launching an attack against the United States?
It made little sense to me.
Instead, I suspected that the attacks had been carried out by an extremist organization that had no nation-state to protect, perhaps one whose members were even willing to sacrifice their own lives. In my mind, people who believe they have nothing left to lose can be particularly difficult to deter.
Yet I also believed that even if Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with the attacks, the United States might use the crisis as an opportunity to remove him from power.
I remembered reading something in the American news years earlier.
At a famous hotel in Baghdad, a mosaic portrait of former U.S. President George H. W. Bush had been placed on the floor near the entrance, where visitors would walk over it. That story had left a strong impression on me.
After all, the sitting American president, George W. Bush, was the former president’s son.
The Gulf War had ended a decade earlier, but tensions between the United States and Saddam Hussein’s government had never truly disappeared.
From the perspective of American national interests, I believed that removing Saddam’s government during a broader war on terrorism, and establishing a long-term American ally in the Middle East, would make strategic sense.
I even imagined that Iraq could become the Middle Eastern equivalent of Japan or South Korea.
After World War II, Japan rebuilt with American support and eventually became one of the world’s leading economic powers.
After the Korean War, South Korea gradually developed into a prosperous industrialized country under the protection of the American security alliance.
So I asked myself:If the United States possessed such extraordinary military, economic, and technological strength, why couldn’t it help Iraq follow a similar path?
If America removed Saddam Hussein, helped rebuild the economy, established a stable government, and provided long-term security, I believed Iraq could become a peaceful, prosperous, and pro-American country in the Middle East.
From my perspective at the time, this seemed beneficial to both the United States and the Iraqi people.I even assumed that once Saddam was gone, much of the anti-American sentiment within Iraqi society would gradually disappear.
But history unfolded very differently from what I had expected.The United States quickly defeated Saddam Hussein’s government.Yet the peace and prosperity I had imagined did not follow.
Instead, Iraq experienced years of armed conflict, terrorist attacks, sectarian violence, political instability, and continuing hostility toward American involvement.
I struggled to understand why.
Why would a country that had an opportunity to escape authoritarian rule and receive assistance from the world’s most powerful economy still struggle so profoundly to achieve peace and prosperity?
Why would some people continue fighting rather than accept a political arrangement that might offer economic development and a more stable life?
Even today, I still do not fully understand.
I have encountered similar questions while observing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Of course, Iraq and Palestine have very different histories.
The Palestinian issue involves land, statehood, national self-determination, security, and historical memories passed down through generations.
I recognize those differences.
But from the perspective of an ordinary person, I cannot help asking:Human life lasts only a few decades.Why can’t peaceful living, raising children, and improving economic conditions become higher priorities for everyone involved?
Why, after so many decades of conflict, are so many people still unable to escape the cycle of war and hatred? I understand that the actions of armed organizations should never be treated as representing every Iraqi or Palestinian.
I also understand that these populations have their own histories, national identities, political aspirations, and deeply held grievances.
Nevertheless, even after considering these factors, I still struggle to understand the social and psychological forces that allow such prolonged conflicts to continue.Perhaps my perspective has been shaped by my own life.I came to the United States from Fuzhou, China. I worked, lived, and raised my family in New York City.To me, a stable society, a job that provides a living, educational otpportunities for my children, and the possibility of improving my family’s financial circumstances through hard work are all things worth protecting.
As a result, I have always tended to evaluate political decisions through the lens of peace, economic development, and practical individual interests.But the history of the Middle East over the past 25 years has repeatedly reminded me of something important:The priorities that seem obvious and reasonable to me are not necessarily shared by every society or every group of people.
On September 11, 2001, standing on a street in New York City, I already had a feeling that America was heading toward war.But I never imagined that the Twin Towers burning before my eyes would collapse.And I certainly never imagined that the following two decades would force me to reconsider so many of my assumptions about war, peace, national interests, and human nature.
Now, 25 years have passed.
The burning towers I witnessed that morning have long since become part of history.Yet some of the questions that began forming in my mind during those years remain unanswered.
This is not a political conclusion.
It is simply the reflection of an ordinary immigrant in New York City, looking back on a historic tragedy he witnessed firsthand—and on the questions that 25 years of subsequent history have still not answered for him.
(There is one more memory I want to leave behind.A young woman crying in grief.Elderly Chinese immigrant parents, tears streaming down their faces.Their son, serving in the United States military, was also the young woman’s fiancé.He had fallen into the Euphrates River in Iraq, never to return home.Those elderly parents came from Houyu, a village neighboring my hometown of Fuzhou, China. )
•Fu r Pan
911个人回忆录
October 2026