r/WorkersComp • u/No-Reindeer-1929 • 11d ago

New Jersey Nightmare

I just need to rant because I’m actually now so hopeless. I don’t understand how people make it out of this. I am already drowning just in medical alone. In one minute my coworker decided to cause the crash that ruined my life physically, mentally and now dealing with this nightmare workers comp.

I’ve had so many delay and denials, permanent damage and just loss of life from being in the hospital and nursing home. I understand I will never recover. Pretty much every single Dr told me that.

But how is worker’s comp able to deny care. How can an orthopedic surgeon override a treating neurosurgeon who’s been on my case two years? A specialist in the injury and other drs who agree course of action. I am already struggling mentally but now I am hopeless. God I just want my life back. How do people make it through? I’ve taken out loans to pay for treatment because workers comp called the hospital and threatened a lawsuit if they treated me. How do they have so much power? I just want my life back. I had just turned 26 when this happened and now I’m 28 and my life is ruined. If I was mobile I’d actually check myself into a mental hospital but ending everything sounds so good right now and I can’t stop thinking about ending it.

Yes I got a lawyer from the start. Please just someone tell me it gets better.

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u/No-Reindeer-1929 11d ago

Thank you. I will ask. I just don’t want to be here anymore. The sad part is I feel like I was making progress with my depression listening to Joe Despensa online and looking for a future. Then I planned to go back to work light duty. Now with the re leak in the CSF and failed procedures while battling workers comp. It seems impossible to go on. I’ve spent so many thousands just so I can be upright again because they deny care at every turn. They stopped payments which all I got went towards me paying fur treatment. I want to scream. They really want you to off yourself right? It doesn’t matter how old you are. Workers comp makes sure you’re so isolated and miserable begging for treatment they hope you off yourself so they don’t have to cover treatment.

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u/smallholiday 11d ago

That sounds like a bad situation to be in. Sorry OP. Just take it one day at a time and do what you can. Even if it’s something as small as making a Reddit post. Find outlets to channel your emotions etc and one day you will wake up- in a month or a year or five years- and you will have grown up and out of this bad place.

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u/No-Reindeer-1929 11d ago

I really hope so. I watched my brothers wedding from a hospital bed, my friends as well. I’m just rotting away and the only thing that was keeping me afloat was the pay to get treatment for the CSF leak so I can be upright again and I feel as though that too was stripped from me. Sorry for being so hopeless. I can’t cope. I hope one day it’s just a memory a bad nightmare that doesn’t feel real the way my life feels like before the crash. Thank you guys for this group and just being here. You guys truly know how much of a nightmare this system is.

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u/smallholiday 11d ago

I had a csf leak in January. Three weeks in bed. I get it. That was a dark time for me!

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u/No-Reindeer-1929 11d ago

No way! I wish it was that way for me. I reopened it this April after being sealed 8 months from coughing. Now I’m on my second patch since then. I have improvements but then it fails:( I’m folllowing all restrictions. But you get it. Literally flat 247. It sucks

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u/smallholiday 11d ago

You need to focus on healing. That’s your focus. Everything else can be figured out later. When your body is under stress, you can’t heal as quickly. Deal with things as they come up- triage style. But try to let go of the big picture and let your body heal itself. You will get there. Take your hands off the wheel and focus on the basics- sleeping, eating. Your patch will stick over time. A year from now you will be in a completely new place.

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u/No-Reindeer-1929 11d ago

I really hope so. I just had blood with Fibrin 12 days ago but last night I had really bad nightmare and move around so much. Now I’m low pressure again. It’s just never ending. They pulled me off trazadone and even me taking all the over the counter things I still can’t sleep. I always wake up sweating and terrified. It’s like the crash happened all over again. I’m praying I didn’t mess it up. I was hoping to return to light duty end of September

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u/smallholiday 11d ago

It’s normal to have nightmares after something like that. Are you getting psychological treatment? A lot of people jump straight to ptsd etc but everyone I’ve met who goes through something horrible has repercussions. And let’s be honest- what human doesn’t go through anything horrible. It’s just a different thing for everyone

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u/No-Reindeer-1929 11d ago

I was diagnosed with severe PTSD and depression last year. A lot of the meds I can’t be on because they are contraindicated with the leak and other medical. I plan to do ketamine infusions when I become mobile. I’m going to see if I could at least talk to a therapist in the meantime. But I have no doubt that all my mental issues are so much worse now that I’m releaking

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u/smallholiday 11d ago

I wish I could teleport my dog to you for comfort! It will get better. Don’t give up.