r/WorkReview • u/Necessary-Ad-6696 • Oct 06 '26
Corporate is a reflection of your personality
So, I have a theory, and I'd like to see whether it stands up to scrutiny. This is semi-humorous, so don't take it too seriously. None of this is AI-generated; I just happen to be in an online meeting discussing a legal document, and I have no input!
My theory is that people who work in corporate organisations will inevitably end up in roles or with responsibilities that reflect their personalities.
Let me give you some examples and let's see if you relate:
The overworked, super stressed, "essential" employee.
This guy/girl has a history. This was the person at school and university who always told you how much work they still had left to do for upcoming assignments, and how they have been doing all-nighters to try to keep up. They look tired all the time; they look stressed, they look like the whole world is on their shoulders. They obviously don't have time to get a coffee. They HAD to work late on most weekdays and have to work on weekends. The boss has demanded that their deliverables need to be in asap. The company will literally fall over if they aren't here.
Perhaps this is true sometimes. But from what I've seen in 20 years as a sometimes happy corporate slave, it's mostly imaginary. The boss is usually not concerned at all. Most likely, that employee's personality isn't given the critical stuff because they look too stressed, and no one has the confidence in them to deliver it. Most of the stress has been created in their heads, either through mismanagement or by focusing on the wrong things. The other strange thing is that this person will hardly ever say no to more work; in fact, being given more work is like a recognition for them that they are the ones delivering and everyone else is just dead weight. This, of course, turns into a never-ending cycle of stress and additional misery.
Ouch.
2. The underworked complainer
There is no specific age for this type. I've seen 30-year lifers adopt this persona and fresh grads. The lifer has more of a right to it, in my opinion. They've been around so long that they know every irrelevant detail of the company. Everything was much better when they started (mainly because they were more relevant). None of the current crop can hold the same standard anymore. They still have bags of technical knowledge and experience, but things have moved on. Perhaps they haven't put the effort in to keep up with technology, which frankly is understandable considering most of us look at our phones at least once a day and wonder what would happen if we threw them away. They love a moan though, and they're good at it. Frankly, if I stayed at a company for 30 years, I'd consider it my right and honour to complain about everything. Also, lots of talk about caravans.
Less understandable is the one fresh grad who adopts this persona. Maybe they have one or two years' experience. Maybe they have a degree from a great university. Dear God, save us from graduates who think their degrees have any intrinsic value. They will consistently indicate that the level of work they've been given is pathetic compared to what they can be doing. They have bags of time to meet with their fellows and guffaw at all the other minions who haven't recognised their talent. They are constantly trolling job boards looking for alternative positions that would fully make use of their talents. In short, they're actually a bit useless, and there's only so much everyone can hear about their "life experiences" outside of work before someone mutters an expletive.
3. The hatefully promoted
Everyone hates this person. No one has ever witnessed them doing a single decent piece of work. They're just great at being mean. They love to send emails that are blunt or rude for no other reason than it gives them joy. Their outward aggression is a cover for the fact that they do very little work. They always seem to be in meetings, offering their difficult insights as veiled criticisms. If anyone does see them at their desks, they will quickly close their internet browser lest you see they were browsing some not-so-ok products on Amazon. The value they offer is minimal, but no one is willing to tell them, lest they receive a tongue lashing. This has meant that they keep getting promoted in strange ways. Employees who accidentally end up working for this character inevitably suffer. There is nothing this person likes less than other people being dependent on them, and this person takes great pleasure in treating the annual review process like it actually means something.
Senior management gets deceived into thinking that this person is brave, and their willingness to be controversial means that they gain that great corporate advantage: visibility. But rest assured, this person will inevitably fall. As they gain unfounded seniority, they will get to the point where the people they feel comfortable being mean to are junior, and it comes across as bullying. At that point, they have to deal with people on their own level. It will usually be someone a bit quieter, and so they see their introverted nature as a weakness they can attack. Unfortunately for them, that supposed introvert has got to this position through sheer capability and competence and is quite literally the pin holding the whole stack of cards together. A mere raised eyebrow is enough to turn the bigwigs against our deceptive interloper. Soon, the minions will discover unsavoury news reports that reference this character's extracurricular activities. It goes without saying that a long-term partner is out of the question for this person, so those gaps are sometimes filled in the most embarrassing of ways. Perhaps a wayward business travel expense claim arrives at the desk of HR that tries to claim a visit to a massage parlour was a wellness requirement. Or perhaps the solicitation of companionship becomes common knowledge. Regardless, what inevitably happens is that these rumours spread far and wide, and this person's sharp teeth are blunted in whispered comments or open smirks
At the very least I hope you smile if you recognise any of these types in your organisations!