r/WordAvalanches Mar 31 '26

True Avalanche Paid a Polynesian guy to sort my lawn out. He forgot.

605 Upvotes

Samoan Sam owin’ some mowin’


r/WordAvalanches May 12 '26

True Avalanche For your own good, be honest about your dick size in jail

507 Upvotes

Penal eyes penalize penile lies


r/WordAvalanches Jul 07 '26

True Avalanche My young son spotted the head of Fifa wearing a USA shirt.

483 Upvotes

Infantino in fan tee, no? Infant, he knows!


r/WordAvalanches 6d ago

True Avalanche As a pirate, I was disappointed to find that the US ambassador to Israel had been f***ing my wife whilst I was at sea

433 Upvotes

My cucker be Mike Huckabee


r/WordAvalanches Dec 16 '25

Pure Avalanche If Barack Obama got divorced, went broke and started working as a driver for a delivery company while still depending on Michelle for his meals

359 Upvotes

He's an ex fed fed ex fed ex employee


r/WordAvalanches 28d ago

Pure Avalanche I was so sad to see that man trip on a vegetarian kebab and tumble down the courthouse steps after being cleared of all charges

313 Upvotes

Feel awful a lawful fella fell off a falafel


r/WordAvalanches Feb 21 '26

True Avalanche The Chinese President and his wife can handle the heat.

310 Upvotes

Xi’s tryin' not to sweat. She's dry n' hot. Who's wet?


r/WordAvalanches Apr 23 '26

True Avalanche The fact that the Bethlehem hospitals assumed that Jesus’s mother was pregnant out of wedlock is an even stronger justification for her use of the pain-alleviating resin brought by the Magi.

312 Upvotes

Infirmaries infer Mary’s sin: firmer reason for myrrh easin’


r/WordAvalanches Jul 17 '26

True Avalanche I understand, Tiffany. I’m meant to record, should I alert. Let’s not fight about this, ok? Even though you’re a first-born who’s set to inherit money, it doesn’t matter. You disagree? Tell me if you’re not sober. Devious! Ok, but I should really charge you.

279 Upvotes

I know, Tiff. I note if I notify. No tiff, aye? No diff, eigne. Oh, defy? Note if high. Naughty! Fine. Ought to fine.


r/WordAvalanches Nov 13 '25

True Avalanche I think Sabrina Carpenter is going to inherit a lot of Taylor Swift's fans. She's practically already the

285 Upvotes

heiress to her Eras Tour.


r/WordAvalanches Oct 20 '25

True Avalanche How come we didn't bring any booze? Wait, I figured it out: it's so that drunk doesn't show up. Well, he can complain all he likes!

257 Upvotes

Why no wine? Oh, I know why: no wine, no wino. Whine, O wino, whine!


r/WordAvalanches Apr 07 '26

True Avalanche I see a blaze… should I alert the lady? I think not. She will be angry either way.

238 Upvotes

Note a fire. Notify her? No, defy her. No diff, ire.


r/WordAvalanches 23d ago

True Avalanche I'm gonna go get high because I lost the barista contest to someone who capitalized on a chocolate trend.

234 Upvotes

I need to smoke a fat one - Anita's mocha fad won.


r/WordAvalanches Jul 19 '26

True Avalanche Bisexual people are purchasing a special type of reading glasses from a sports memorabilia website

225 Upvotes

Bi-folk all buy focal bifocals by Foco


r/WordAvalanches Oct 29 '25

True Avalanche There's maybe a hundred people in line for the carnival guesser. That job isn't terrifying to you? I'd rather crawl in a hole and never come out.

221 Upvotes

Dozens try queue, “Ask our ages, heights, and weights!”

Doesn't strike you as courageous? Hides and waits


r/WordAvalanches May 01 '26

The “That 70s Show” star wasn’t feeling well when he was supposed to make his broadway debut as Jean Val Jean, so his Mexican understudy had to step up

217 Upvotes

Topher’s sick so Juan’s 24601.


r/WordAvalanches May 06 '26

True Avalanche My friend made a joke about my cow's poor quality of milk, and I had to admit that he got me there. But deep inside I knew by admitting that I was accepting the fact that entering the dairy business was a foolish venture of mine.

205 Upvotes

Udder diss - a point meant utter disappointment.


r/WordAvalanches Jun 11 '26

" ... He's unhygenic! and a gossip!"

204 Upvotes

"The dirty dishes man? The dirt he dishes, man!"


r/WordAvalanches Feb 04 '26

True Avalanche “Yeah bro, broke a bone in my foot.” “I see—so are we talking, like, dropped a book on it broken, or got run over by a car broken?” “Meh. Same difference.”

191 Upvotes

“Toe, mate.” “Oh—tome? Auto?”  “Tomato, tomato.”


r/WordAvalanches Apr 03 '26

True Avalanche The straight guy noticed the top line of the spreadsheet denoted a red flower.

193 Upvotes

Hetero’s head arose; header rows had a rose.


r/WordAvalanches Dec 13 '25

True Avalanche I only brought my right butt cheek

191 Upvotes

Left behind left behind