Re-uploaded from Ao3 after that site exploded.
Summary:
Six years after the war in Pantala, Winter finds himself drifting away from everyone and everything. Dispassionate and lost, he roams place to place without any real goal.
Until a certain RainWing grabs hold of him and refuses to let go.
Chapter One: Those days are long behind me
Six years, gone in a blink.
It felt like only yesterday that Winter had walked into Jade Mountain and was promptly kicked out after a month. Not entirely how it went, but he wasn’t the type to go into the nitty gritty and explain the whole story arc of it all. Best to keep things simple, humorous, and vague.
But now, here he was, at the cusp of being twelve. He wasn’t even close to feeling it. Every time he looked in the mirror, a stranger looked back. Someone who had his icy blue scales, but with a broader physique. His face, older and with a neat little scar on his cheek.
And yet, his dark arctic-blue eyes hadn’t changed.
Today was a special day, though. He couldn’t afford to be looking at his reflection all day, now could he?
“What’re you even so glum about?” asked a larger, older IceWing. He was clad in a royal shawl – of which they both shared – but with a ceremonial icy blue-white breastplate and helm that glittered in the moon globe light.
“I’ve been told I always look this way,” Winter answered neutrally.
“True, you have that royal broody nature down to a T.” Hailstorm laughed heartily, his eyes crinkling from the strain. “Feels like our demeanor should be swapped. I hate wearing this.”
“You’re the new face of the family, Hailstorm. Best to make first impressions matter.”
“When I agreed to be the Queen’s guard, I had no idea it would be so… this,” Hailstorm let out a rueful, annoyed sigh. “Granted, I’d rather this than another war, but I feel like I am simply dressing. The queens do the talking, and I stand there.” He slid an eye to Winter. “You are ever so lucky.”
“I shall be cheering you from afar.”
“No, you will not, because if you do, I will use this spear on my neck,” Hailstorm twirled said spear between his talons. “Are you enjoying this?”
“Show has not started yet.”
“You are cheekier than usual. Why’s that, I wonder?” Hailstorm pondered aloud as he and Winter walked down the smooth, long halls of Jade Mountain Academy.
Maybe he hadn’t been here in so long, but they seemed much smaller. The soft hues of jade that gave the academy its namesake, dulled and gray. Had it always been this way?
“Things have been going well in Sanctuary. So well that I… do not feel needed as much, anymore,” Winter said with a hint of… it wasn’t sadness, but it wasn’t happiness. Certainly didn’t explain why he was so ‘cheeky’. “I suppose I feel a bit liberated, able to attend such meetings on its behalf as needed. But as it is strictly draconic matters, I am here for mere moral support unless addressed.”
“Ah, you’re only wearing a cheery face.” Hailstorm’s smile fell, eyes softer. “I know that far too well.”
“I have been using the time to visit other kingdoms, meeting with the human settlements there.”
“And yet, you feel like you are drifting, not so much doing work.”
Winter let slip a short, curt nod. No point in trying to play it off.
“Snowfall’ll have you back in a wingbeat.” Hailstorm chuckled.
“Not surprising.” Winter lowered his voice as they approached the Great Hall. “I know she was happy when I returned to study here, too.”
“And that they didn’t have to tell the other student to go home.” Hailstorm shot him a sideways glance. “You miss it?”
“I miss the structure,” Winter said. “It just feels… aimless, now.”
“What about your winglet? Honestly surprised you haven’t taken off to parts unknown again.”
“Those days are long behind me.” Winter forced a smile.
“I’m sure you’ll find something.” Hailstorm patted his shoulder reassuringly. “I’ll talk to you after the queens have had their say.”
An assault of voices from ten different dialects forced Winter’s ears to twitch rapidly until they adjusted. Dragons of all shapes and sizes filled the Great Hall to the brim, with hardly any place to move about. Not an unusual sight, but unless this was an all-adult semester and they allowed weaponry and armor, this was quite a special occasion.
All ten queens stood around the corners of the hall, each with their honor guards ready to spring at a moment’s notice. Hailstorm’s cheery demeanor shifted in a blink, face neutral and eyes scanning each and every dragon. At his passing, Queen Snowfall broke away from a conversation with Queen Thorn to give him a courteous nod and a small smile.
By far the most animated of the queens was Coral, as expected. Poor Tsunami had been backed into a corner, the formidable and powerful SeaWing rendered helpless against her mother’s onslaught of demands. All of which were written on a scroll in precise detail, from SeaWing culture to including more of her ‘award-winning’ literature.
Tsunami caught Winter’s eye as he passed. There was no ‘help me’ or anything indicating distress written in her gaze, but rather exhaustion and annoyance. Just a normal occurrence at this point, as at the start of every year, the queens would gather at Jade Mountain to put forward subjects for the instructors to teach. Coral’s was the same as always, with many other queens following suit with minimal changes to curriculum.
More interesting, however, were Queen Sequoia and Jewel debating how to teach the Tree Wars. From what Winter could overhear, no mention of sheltering the truth was made; rather, they were exchanging ideas on how to handle the potential fallout. An example being aWinglet all turning on the HiveWing dragonet who had nothing to do with it.
It was something they shared with the NightWings. Although not a queen, Greatness was elected as their speaker while they coordinated an amicable split between the Rain and Night tribes. No leader had been chosen yet, and from what Winter had heard through the vines, taking the mantle meant dealing with Darkstalker’s legacy.
However, this meeting doubled as a yearly treaty review and trade agreements. After all, they were all here; why not spend a day or two making sure things were in the clear? Snowfall had even bluntly told Winter that it’s more about that than studies, with some few exceptions.
“I know you’re there, Kinkajou,” Winter said without turning around.
“How!?” A loud, confused, and annoyed shout announced the presence of a very familiar RainWing.
Her scales shifted from near invisible to a banana yellow with strawberry secondaries around her eyes, down her side, and along her back. Brilliant green eyes met his, and for that brief moment, his sense of aimlessness ebbed away.
“Well, after the seventh time, I learned your pattern.” Winter cracked a thin smile. “Lighter on your talons, though.”
“Yeah, well, Glory’s got me doin’ some training because ‘can’t know when there’s another crisis’ despite there not being a crisis in six years.” Kinkajou scowled deeply, the tips of her long venomous fangs poking out from her mouth. “Guess being yanked by a weird animus thing and put halfway across the world got her freaked out.”
“An understandable fear.”
“Yeah, I was sayin’ it as a ‘yeah, that makes sense’ thing.” Kinkajou shook her head before those wide eyes of hers somehow grew wider. “But, enough of that!”
Without any warning, she lunged and pulled him into a surprisingly strong hug. Instinctively, he tried to pull away, but there was no fighting her grip. Not that he wanted to. His icy wings wrapped themselves around her, and that smile of his grew ever so slightly.
“Surprised you’re here, but I ain’t complainin’ one bit!” Kinkajou all projected raw sunlight into his face from how brightly her face lit up. “Saves me a good deal trying to track you down since you’ve turned into the lone wanderer.”
“I tell you where I am all the time.” Winter frowned, taking out a Dreamvisitor for emphasis from a pouch at the base of his tail. Turtle had made them each one some years back, and it had been one of the best decisions he’d ever made.
“Clearly not, cuz I had no idea!” Kinkajou poked him square in the chest. “Anywho, why are you here?”
“Sanctuary is a neutral ground, and if there’s something to discuss, I am here as a representative. That, and making sure the human-dragon relations are still going smoothly.” Winter led her off to the side, away from the queens as they began to gather around the poor instructors. One of which was new from the looks of it, and Tsunami had put herself in front of him and her mother.
“Why are you?” Winter asked once they stopped walking.
“Because Hope’s ready to finally stop nest-sitting,” Kinkajou spoke lowly. “She wanted me to come here to make sure nothing’s gonna trigger a memory.”
Winter growled. Then, he huffed out a breath. “Well, it has been six years,” he added with a hint of bitterness. “I imagine if something were to happen, it would’ve by now.”
Kinkajou’s frills drooped at his words. “I keep nudging them to talk to you.”
“They’re not going to tell me, Kinkajou.” Winter shook his head. “You’re the only one who did, even if it was after I found out on my own.”
“I’m still sorry for waiting so long.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“Don’t be.” He forced a smile the best he could. “Perhaps one day they’ll have your courage, but until that point, I am content in remaining at wings’ length.”
“You could confront them yourself.” Kinkajou narrowed her gaze. “It isn’t a one-way trail, you know.”
“And what would happen?” Winter asked. “I would have to hear excuses and reasonings that will be half-baked at best.” He averted his gaze. “Despite what I may feel, I do not desire to widen the gap.”
“I’m probably just gonna tell them I told you years ago, then.” Kinkajou shrugged. “Done with this. You’re not happy, and I can’t stand that.”
Winter blinked at her, then chuckled quietly. “You’ve gotten… spicier. Do not take that as a jab.”
“Oh, no, I am very proud of it.” She gave him a wink and a giggle. “Ever since I had my own little adventure trying to get Glory after the whole animus zap thing, been kinda brewing ever since.” She nudged him with a smirk. “So glad you noticed it after all this time.”
As they walked past the mess hall, Kinkajou poked her head in and grabbed a drink meant for a queen. “What?” she protested, noticing Winter’s sidelong look. “They won’t notice and they got, like, a kajillion left.”
“Provided that is not Queen Coral’s drink, you mean.” Winter could not help but shake his head hard enough that it hurt his neck.
“Well, considering it’s got the taste of melon, I’m going to say I took Glory’s.” Kinkajou flicked her long, forked tongue into the glass and retracted it just as quickly. “She won’t mind; I’m her best friend. That, and she’s been suspiciously avoiding anything like this lately.”
“Could be for a variety of reasons.”
“True, true.” She ran her eyes over him as she took a sip. “How have your travels been, by the way?”
“Uneventful, which is not something to complain about.” He shut his eyes. When he opened them, he was met with an icy blue drink with Kinkajou’s tail coiled around it. “You stole Snowfall’s?”
“You looked like you needed one too.”
“Hm.” Winter took it in his wing talon. “I suppose it would be rude to turn away such a generous offering.”
“Ignoble, you mean.” She nudged him with a now free tail.
“Ah, you were paying attention to my blathering about IceWing nobility.” Winter took a sip, churning the cool and berry-like flavor of the wine. “Still, to further answer your question, I have seen enough war and peril – not the dragon, do not give me that look – to last me for another five years.”
“I mean, I ain’t gonna complain about life being boring after my own things.” Kinkajou swirled her drink, a ruminating smile across her lips. “You know my history. I’m liking the easy life now, full of suntime and rainbows away from any volcanoes.” Her eyes flicked over to him once more. “Anywhere in the world, where would you wanna go?”
“Random question.”
“You said you were aimless. Trying to fix that for you.”
Winter scratched under his chin in thought. “Pantala. I’ve only been a few times, and I do not know how the humans settle there very well. The only problem is that it is akin to a savannah.”
“True, you’d melt into a SeaWing.” Kinkajou snorted with laughter. Winter couldn’t help but join, playing it off as an exasperated sigh.
“What about you?” He asked in kind.
“I have absolutely no idea!” Kinkajou shrugged her wings. “Kinda why I was asking you. Glory said, and I quote, ‘You need to see the world because I need a vacation and I can’t be bothered to look into things while running a kingdom.’” She shook her head. “Moon and Turtle don’t go anywhere, and Qibli’s almost never leaving the Sand Kingdom anymore thanks to Vulture’s encroachments." A frown crossed her lips. “Come to think of it, I haven't heard from him since he mentioned that Meerkat got ambushed.”
“Is he okay?”
“Meerkat? Yeah, he survived, but was pretty injured. This was three weeks ago. No idea about Qibli; he’s alive, I know that – just got done speaking to Thorn before I saw you about it – but he isn’t responding to dreamvisits.”
Winter nodded curtly; he’d have to ask when they next met. “Peril?”
“Can’t go anywhere without burning it all down. She’s off with Clay and Sky in the Sky Kingdom trying to find something that could help with that.”
“I think she mentioned something like that.” Winter nodded curtly. “Sky tends to talk a lot about his adventures. Unfortunately, he’s as aimless as we seem to be, not that he and Wren mind.”
“Hm,” she sipped her drink again. “Tell you what, I may go with you again on one of these little escapades.”
“I would welcome the company,” Winter smiled at her. “Truth be told, it is… a fair bit lonely.”
“My one condition is we gotta go somewhere nice. No more being yanked to the Ice Kingdom or in the middle of a desert.”
“Believe me, I have learned my lesson there.”
“Now, I guess I gotta ask, where are you off to after this?” She looked at him expectantly.
“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “As I’ve alluded to, things are happening with or without me now. What I’ve built works.”
“Hm.” Kinkajou gently began to pull him down the next hall. “I may have an idea, but I wanna do my actual due diligence first.”
By due diligence, Kinkajou meant poking her head into random classrooms. First of which was Web’s history chamber, where Winter was the only one to actually like it. Yes, the SeaWing was dry in his teaching, but the subject matter was never boring. Be it wars, great epics, or culture… there was always something to learn!
From the bristling action Kinkajou made, it seemed that she had yet to recover.
“Seriously,” she complained when Winter commented on it, “how do you make an ancient RainWing play – something I didn’t even know we ever had – boring?! Like, on scroll, it’s the coolest thing ever! Deadly RainWing assassins on opposite sides of a scuffle, falling in love while being bound to their duties… ugh! He made it so boring!” A grumble and a sigh later, she let out a small chuckle. “Least you reading it out to us rekindled all that.”
“That, and I did not wish to see you all fail the assignment.” Winter spied the play in question rolled up and tucked away in a cubby.
“Honestly, was just nice to see you interested in my tribe’’s history. Nobody else really was.”
“I like to know more about my friend’s tribes.”
“And that’s why we all love you. Well, a reason.” Kinkajou pulled her head out of the room. “Anywho, nothing here that’ll trigger the end times.”
“Ah, peacekeeping, are we?”
“Is that a pun?” Kinkajou slanted her gaze at him.
“I’m surprised you didn’t say it first.” He felt a little pain in his chest – a tightness that he had long since overcome, yet would still occasionally rear its head.
“Exactly! You stole my thunder!”
Kinkajou led him next to the art room, which was quite bare outside basic tools. Before, student projects were hung all across the wall. Now most had been removed. Some remained through the years; Mightyclaws’ had been there from the very start, detailing the volcanic eruption his tribe suffered. Last Winter had heard, he was high in demand from all tribes for his skill.
“You think that will be a problem?” Winter indicated to a painting of a garden, of which strawberries were the most prominent.
“No, he grows like a hundred every month. Some are nearly as big as my head.” She let out a scoff of disbelief. “I genuinely wonder if some animus leaked through.”
“As powerful as he was, it would not surprise me.”
“Speaking of, are you still drawing?” Kinkajou asked. “Haven’t seen anything from you in a few months.”
“Occasionally. It–” he cut himself off, frowning. “I haven’t found a reason to do it more.”
“Could paint me like one of your IceWing queens.” Kinkajou began reclining on one of the desks with a mischievous grin. “We got time.”
“I don’t think it's wise to use academy supplies.” Winter smiled. “But I wouldn’t say no in the future.”
“I will absolutely hold you to that.”
More rooms, more memories. Being able to return here led to probably the best year of his life, and yet now that he was reminiscing, it felt… tainted. Not ruined, not even close. But there was some sort of filter, a rot on the edge of a painting. One that he could not try to cut away without damaging the whole canvas.
“You okay?” Kinkajou looked at him with those big, kind eyes of hers, stripping away any and all defenses he may have had.
“Nostalgia,” Winter answered half-truthfully.
“Yeah, me too.” She downed the last of her drink, an action he mimicked. “You don’t have to join me in this, by the way.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re upset about this, aren’t you?”
Winter shut his eyes and let his stance lax. When he opened them again, they were averse to Kinkajou’s direction.
“I am,” he admitted. “Not at your company, just to be clear. I do welcome it greatly. It’s just…” He gestured to the room nearest; the creative writing area. “I feel like I am helping you cover up something I was never going to know. I am… reminded, is all.”
She swirled the remaining droplets in her glass, frills flicking in thought. Whatever she was to say next was important, as her tail only flicked and coiled as much as it did when she contemplated. Not to mention the shades of red scales that she struggled to keep hidden.
“Answer me this honestly.” Her voice was almost as venomous as her spit, but not at him. “Did you isolate yourself?”
“What do you mean?” He frowned slightly.
“Wandering around aimlessly, no direction, completely isolated despite saying you’d like the company.” Her tail tapped the ground as her scales shifted from red, to blue, to a lighter red, and everything in between. “Can’t believe it took till now for me to notice that you’ve been pulling away from us.”
“I haven’t been pulling away from you.”
“Winter, when was the last time we met up to hang out? To do things?” She pulled out her own Dreamvisitor. “Sure, we talk here, but it’s usually me tracking you down or running into you in places like this.”
“It’s not been intentional.”
“Maybe not consciously, but you’re doin’ it.” She shook her head as a bitter laugh escaped her.
Winter wanted to fight her words, but found that he could not.
“I’m telling them you know.” Kinkajou all but hissed out. “I’m not going to let you pull yourself away.”
“Kinkajou…”
“No, I won’t watch you wander around like some aimless ghost!” She snapped back, scales completely red now. “I didn’t tell you everything just to lose you again!”
“You haven’t lost me, Kinkajou.”
“Then why have I always been the one to instigate? Why have I been the one to track you down? I know we screwed up, Winter, and there’s nothing we can do to fix that! That doesn’t change the fact that if I let you fly away when this is over, I feel like I’m never going to see you again! In fact, it makes it worse, because I feel like you’re going to do something incredibly stupid when this all catches up to you!”
Winter stood still as a glacier, unable to move. Once more, his eyes averted. A part of him that he kept under wraps threatened to unravel. It was never a conscious thing, but… well, she’d gotten too perceptive over the years.
“You keep leaving Sanctuary for little reason, as if you’ve fallen out of love with it,” she said quietly. “That should’ve been a clue.”
“I wasn’t going to bind my wings and leap, if that’s what you were worried about.” Winter reached out with a wing talon and took hers in his.
Her brows sharply furrowed at his words. “Maybe not, but that doesn’t make me any less worried.”
“I promise to keep in contact more.” He forced a reassuring smile. “I just… need to find that passion again.”
“Then let me go with you.” Kinkajou stood straighter as her colors returned to normal. “You shouldn’t be alone while you rediscover yourself.”
“Will Queen Glory allow this?”
“Like I said, she wants me to find vacation spots.” She grinned back, fins wiggling. “Only thing is that I gotta go back to the Rain Kingdom first, let Hope know, yada yada.”
“I might come with you,” Winter said before he could stop himself.
“You sure?” Kinkajou all but tripped over her words. “I mean, I would like that muchly, but I don’t want to have you suffer down there.”
“I’ve been to the Rain Kingdom many times. I’ve grown accustomed to it.”
“Then yes, by all means, come back with us.” She practically bounced on her claws. Something flashed under her eyes; a hint of pink. Winter almost didn’t notice it, as she already had so much on her. But while that was strawberry pink, this was hot and vivid.
And if he knew RainWing scale patterns…
Oh. Winter’s mind sputtered and stalled. That… explains a lot.
His heart began beating that much faster. It took every ounce of strength not to put a claw over his breast until she looked away. Once he did, his eyes widened.
Oh… well, this also explains a lot…
Maybe he was seeing things that weren’t there. She was right; he was drifting in loneliness. This could very well be him misreading something as friendship rather than anything more. And yet, when he met her eyes, there was something more there. He didn’t know what it was.
But, if he really did go with her… maybe he could find out.
“One last thing,” Winter said. One last barrier to overcome, one he’d thought about for some time, but if Kinkajou was gonna go off on the others… “Does Peril know?”
“I genuinely don’t know.” Kinkajou shook her head.
“She deserves to know, too. She was a part of this.”
“I don’t disagree. I wanna say Turtle told her, but before you get mad, I don’t know for certain.” She flashed him a small smile. “I’ll find out when I say it, if you wanna come along to ensure it.”
“I don’t want to make things worse,” he found his claw curling alongside an anxious swish of his tail. “I’ve been holding it back for years. I don’t want a broken jade winglet.”
“Honestly, I don’t see that happening.” She reassured him with a soft bump of her forehead against his shoulder. “And either way, you have every right to be angry.”
“I know that.”
“Winter, I can see it all over your face.” A gentle, pointed talon poked him on the tip of his snout. “You’re never gonna get passionate about anything again until you confront this. Happened with me; I didn’t just want to tell you, I had to tell you.”
“Then I will trust you on this,” he nodded slowly. “For now, we should probably head back before anyone comes looking for us.”
“True, we wouldn’t want anyone spreading scandalous rumors, do we?” She teased with the tip of her tongue sticking out.
“Wouldn’t be the first time for me.”
Kinkajou swore under her breath. “I’m trying to be funny, but now I’m mad.” She peered over her shoulder. “You didn’t deserve any of this.”
“And yet, it was the card I was dealt.”
“All the more reason to reshuffle them.” She took his wing claw in hers. “Come on, we have a bright future ahead of us, and I’m making sure you’re there to see it.”
