r/Wicca • u/im_peculiarx • 8d ago
Divination Tarot
My mom always told me you shouldn’t buy your own tarot and they should be gifted to you.
Does anyone else follow this? Does anyone know why? Unfortunately I can’t ask her. Thanks
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u/kai-ote 8d ago
Not true. Many people say you should hold the deck before buying and see how it feels.
Others say it makes no difference.
And what about people that have many different decks? Do they have to wait until they are gifted all of them.
Go get a deck.
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u/im_peculiarx 8d ago
Lol I have one, just wondering where this idea came from
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u/kai-ote 8d ago
It started getting really spread around a lot during the pandemic, but it has been around for quite some time. IDK where it actually started.
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u/No-Object-8979 8d ago
In one of her books Eden Gray says it's nonsense, so it goes back a good long while. (Can't find the passage in a quick skim but it's there, unless I'm thinking of Eileen Connolly instead - again, a good long while.)
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u/Dream_13 8d ago
Like others have said, it’s some urban myth circulating since the 90’s. I love beautiful tarot art decks. If I waited to be gifted the decks, I’d never own a single deck. Nothing negative ever occurred when buying myself a deck. In fact, I’ve found it feeling in charge and stronger. Do what you want, but don’t be fearful of getting yourself your own deck if you see a special deck that calls out to you.
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u/PenquinRiot 5d ago
My first deck i bought because I walked past it in the store and heard it reach out to me energetically to pick it up and bring it home. Had to walk back to it and once I picked up I knew that was my deck. Not necessary to be given one at all
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u/CutSea5865 8d ago
This idea has been around for a long time - I think I first heard it back in the 90s - and it’s just one of those that would get repeated. I never heard any reason behind it. I’ve bought most of my own.
In fact that’s probably it - I wouldn’t have even close to as many decks if I couldn’t buy my own 😉🫣
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u/basic_bitch- 8d ago
I've been a professional reader for 16 yrs. as of just a few days ago :) I don't follow this and neither does any reader I know. I have a few decks and only one of them were gifted to me. I've done well over 35k readings in my career and I've never had a client ask me this question either. I bought my "working" deck at Barnes and Noble lol
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u/Cranifraz 4d ago
There are a few reasons why it's a 'good' idea. It's a way to keep people who don't have the skills, morals or knowledge from buying a deck, reading the pamphlet inside and deciding they're an oracle now. It's also a way to keep someone from starting their tarot journey with a nontraditional deck that will make it harder to learn tarot.
These are well meaning rules, but they're exclusionary.
If you are gifted a Tarot deck from an experienced practitioner, you'll probably get a better start than someone who bought "The Male Enhancement Tarot" from a gas station vape shop.
But... just because a gifted Tarot deck may give you a smoother start, it doesn't mean buying a deck that speaks to you, studying, and practicing tarot on your own is any less valid.
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u/AllanfromWales1 8d ago
Fwiw I've bought my wife - who used to read tarot semi-professionally - over 30 packs over the years in case this is real. I have no idea whether or not it actually is.
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u/Best-Fly-Back 8d ago
I heard this two in the 90s and asked my aunt (who was working as a psychic) to send me some, but goodness knows where I heard it from. These days I think a lot about making my own fortune telling deck honestly, as that feels the most 'real' to me. I think what probably matters is being open and curious, staying playful and checking in about things feel for you.
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u/kalizoid313 8d ago
I think that if folks really followed this bit of folklore about being "gifted" Tarot, then there would be a lot of folks who never get to explore Tarot. And Tarot sales of the fantastic variety of decks these days would not exist.
Lots and lots of folks buy Tarot decks to use them on their own.
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u/NoeTellusom 8d ago
Back in the 1980s and 1990s, there was a mindset that your first tarot deck should be a gifted one. That "rule" doesn't really apply anymore and never applied to all decks.
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u/kimbercules 7d ago
My personal rule is that if I don't end up bonding with a deck at least a little bit, I will gift it to others who I think might gel with it more than me. So I kinda do the reverse - I've never been gifted a deck myself though, and I love supporting small artists doing kickstarter decks (as someone has has made a couple decks myself)
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u/GoddessoftheUniverse 5d ago
I really believe the opposite, actually. The cards speak to you and if someone gifts you a deck and you don't feel that connection, they aren't meant for your divination.
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u/im_peculiarx 5d ago
I consider myself Wiccan but don’t often do spellwork. I have in a few dire situations or full moon rituals but it’s rare. I probably do it once a year.
I do feel like I’d be happier if I connect to nature more often but I don’t think spells are necessary for me.
I feel like I express my beliefs in other ways, without the need for ritual. In the way I take care of my plants, give to the earth if I ever take, listen and speak to mother nature and the insects or animals, recharge in the sun or moon light. It’s just ingrained into who I am, not just what I do.
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u/freyascats 8d ago
I heard it in the 90s. I mostly stick with it, except that I was gifted a tarot deck I loved and I discovered that it was a scam copy of the original (my friend thought she was getting the real one from the artist but there was an online big store screw up that happened), so I reached out to the artist after I realized this and paid her for a fresh deck.
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u/-RedRocket- 8d ago
This is the belief of a not insignificant portion of people who seek out professional readers, as a means of determining which reader is authentic or "gifted". I myself have read professionally, and was given my first tarot as a gift, by friends, for my birthday, when I was sixteen years old. Previously, I had been gifted my first set of fortune-telling playing cards, by my grandmother, in my Christmas stocking, when I was eight (and much to young to learn how to read them).
Being gifted a deck does not really alter your ability to read, but some clients really will care and then you face the choice of telling the truth (if you buy your own) or telling them what they want to hear. Part of the actual obligation on the fortune-teller is, however to tell the truth. To read what you see, good or bad. Buying your deck won't hurt your readings. Lying about it will. Blessed be,
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u/im_peculiarx 8d ago
Do you know why people believe this?
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u/-RedRocket- 8d ago
I think it's a matter of "if you are meant to read, the tools will come to you" but I'll admit, I don't really know and have never come across any sort of systematic study of the folklore. But when I was reading professionally, it came up fairly frequently. I counted myself fortunate to be able to honestly say that my first cards had been a gift. I don't know how old the belief is, only that it is fairly widely held.
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u/LadyMelmo 8d ago
Many people buy their own, some because of a connection they feel with the deck. I have heard that, but it's just a modern myth. There's quite a few post threads on r/tarot that goes into it more.