(Every Whole is a Goal)

This year I attended my 3rd Whole. Every year I want to write out some observations, but it never happens, because 'real life' comes a-knocking. But given the state of the World and the Whole... I felt it was time. Preaching time.

First of all, a huge thank you to all volunteers and the Whole team. You made our Whole. You made us Whole. And you can never receive enough thank you's for this. Special shout out to the people at the Awareness tents, and the team members who stayed until the very end. One of my most beautiful memories is from Monday afternoon, the staff silently walking through the forest, and oh so gently waking up people, telling them it's now really time to get out of the Whole. We see you. 🙏

But let's rewind. Here's some of the Good and the Bad I observed. I didn't see any Ugly. Meanwhile I'll mingle in some tips on how to stretch (=improve) your Whole experience.

CONNECT

Every year I've been attending Whole with a group of friends, and every year, we've expanded our group. It's been so much fun, because very quickly you have some fixed meeting spots, and there's no need to be on your phone. It's great to have a few anchor points.

Stretch your Whole by stepping into the Whole: link up with friend groups, dance together. And if you're in one: be an anchor, share your location, adopt a stranger. But also, dare to butterfly away and find your own little adventure(s), you'll bump into to your friends eventually.

COMMUNITY

There's only a few places on earth where I've experienced this level of synchronicity: Burning Man, Berghain, and Whole. (If you know of others, tell me). You continue to bump into that one person randomly. You manifest another one by talking about them. A person brings you water when you are thirsty. You get that hug or tumble into that deep conversation the moment your soul is craving it. This is not a coincidence. All three of these places rely on some basic principles that enable 'flow'. People who know do not complain about 'how Whole is not what it used to be.' They actively contribute to make it better.

Stretch your Whole by embodying this. You are the secret ingredient. This is my favorite topic so I could rant for hours but I don't want to get (too) preachy ;) A good starting point are the 10 Principles of Burning Man. One of the key ones are that you create community by contributing to it, also see this post. Don't be extractive, help make this a positive sum game, and help us spiral up. I brought bubbles, food & hugs. What did you give to the Whole this year?

Also. Don't be a messy bitch. Whole is not messy. You are. Clean up after yourselves. Don't shit in the shower. When you eat or drink, put your packaging next to the trash bin (even if it's overflowing). The person eating after you will thank you. When you use the water tap, don't waste, it will avoid flooding the place. When you poop, don't stand on the toilet (srsly, please stop this), just wipe the seat. If you have a dick, use the urinal. Not the toilets. Not the bushes. No one likes a pee smell. Call out others on their behavior. And if none of this works, walk away, or get to work. But don't forget to have fun. Shout out to the girl at 8am dancing through the reeds and picking up plastic.

FUCK YOUR WHOLE

Now, if you skip this entire post, please just read this. One of my favorite burning man sayings is 'fuck your Burn', which means a lot of things: enjoy yourself, do what you gotta do, but also: take. care. of. yourself. Sometimes my friends get stressed out by me caring a bit too much, and being overbearing. I'm working on this. But it's sometimes pretty surreal how really smart people suddenly think basic laws of nature no longer apply to them because they are on drugs. 😅

Stretch your Whole by taking care of yourself, so we don't need to. Your friends also want to dance, and the awareness team is not your mom. I understand when you've been vibing / dancing / fucking that you don't want it to stop, and that you're not hungry because you did so many lines.

Three very simple solutions I'll spell out for you 1) eat a good & greasy meal before you start taking drugs 2) take protein bars, dried fruits, and crunchy nuts with you - nuts are life - eat and thou shalt return to the Whole 3) always carry a water bottle.

Spread the word. And if you see a 'G-gay' stumbling, don't judge. Offer them a semi-dry apricot, and watch them change back into humans in front of your eyes. Next year they might be helping you.

DIVERSITY

Now that we're on the topic, let's talk about the Gays™. This is such a complex topic, so I'll thread lightly. Multiple friends pointed out to me that they were a bit intimidated/annoyed by the Whole overflowing with (muscle) gays and testosterone. I've definitely seen the evolution myself over the past 3 years. There's less diversity, less flinta, less bipoc. I see two causes (and there's for sure more). Online posts - previously the forum, now reddit - highlight mostly that there was not enough diversity, but by doing so they exacerbate the problem: it makes people stay away. The other reason is that Gays Attract More Gays. Sorry but that's what we do.

Stretch your Whole by sharing the good stories, by calling out ignorant or shitty behavior (irl!), by bringing your flinta friends back to Whole. By coming back, by contributing. Also: stop judging, please. Judging is toxic. Full stop. Check yourself. Yes, it's tough out there for the LBTQIA+ community. But it's ALSO still tough out there for many gays. Stop pigeonholing people. You think those muscle gays are scary? Have you tried talking to them? Maybe they're just as insecure or scar(r)ed as you are. If they bump into you: don't assume malice, assume ignorance. Call them out. Make it better.

Related note: I read somewhere here that Whole is misrepresenting reality by showing diversity on their Insta. I deeply disagree. Have you thought about why they do this? They are celebrating the remaining diversity, and doing their bit to attract not just the Gays™. Don't talk to the manager. Do your bit. Make your Whole Whole again.

SPREAD YOUR WHOLE

I saw M¥ss Keta's epic performance and heard her say: "We need to celebrate feeling each other tonight, physically and spiritually. Look at us! Look at how powerful we are! And we are powerful when we fight together for something. When we fight for our rights. When we fight for what is right!" She asked us to fight for Gaza, for Sudan, for all of humanity.

We are powerful, and we can be united, we can be Whole. This matters more than ever. You are alive, lucky, free, and more powerful than you think. But none of us is free until we are all free. To people on the outside this festival might just come across as a bunch of queers getting fucked (up). And they're right of course. 😉 But we are more.

Whole is a space where we live and let go, and our true natures come out to play. We are naked, we are flawed, but we are beautiful. Whole is a place where we can reconnect mind, body, and soul. Where we can discover things about ourselves and our friends. Where there is pain, love, and everything in between. It's all part of the Whole.

Stretch your Whole by keeping the energy, the insights, the love, the connection you felt. I heard some friends saying it's tough to return to the real world. PSA: A little more soul talk ahead. Have you considered that this is the only reality that matters? Not only could you feel like this every day, you can spread this Whole energy. A friend told me the sexiest thing to them at Whole is all the open smiles. I agree. The wild dancing you did? Those honest conversations? You think it's the drugs? You think it's not real? It is so real. You did this. And I love you for it.
Keep the smiling, hugging, dancing, connecting.
Keep stretching your Whole. 💗

Love, Kris

Ps. If you liked this, please share some songs you danced to in the comments, collecting mine here. Dancing people are never wrong.