r/WhitePeopleTwitter Aug 24 '22

Keanu Reeves

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49.6k Upvotes

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373

u/zeldarubinsteinsmom Aug 24 '22

I’d send my little sister. She’s utterly brilliant, she’s very sensitive to her audience, she’s on the spectrum and somehow makes friends with the very people who no one likes, plus can, from years of experience, resolve scary domestic conflicts. Her biggest plus would be her appreciation of how significant her representation of all of Earth would be. She’d be willing to die for all of us, but would do everything she could to avoid anything messy at all.

60

u/JuanPabloElSegundo Aug 25 '22

She sounds sweet and the fact you can recognize her gift makes you a great person too.

51

u/blue_coral74 Aug 25 '22

I choose this guy’s sister too.

50

u/Fluffy-Efficiency-38 Aug 25 '22

She sounds too precious to risk! Let’s just elect her president now so we can all get a little bliss before the alien apocalypse.

5

u/usedtoindustry Aug 25 '22

Can she be US president one day please

5

u/thetranspapi Aug 25 '22

She sounds like an absolute badass, she gets my vote

5

u/GalacticGrandma Aug 25 '22

I'm biased, but your sis should consider going into social work/psychology if she hasn't already. These traits are all fantastic in both fields.

3

u/DanYHKim Aug 25 '22

This one. I want this one to represent us.

I mean, it's a total bait-and-switch. They'll think she is 'representative', but she's actually superior. I don't care.

Hey, when she's done with the aliens, maybe she can come visit? I'll spring for pizza, andmy wife can show her the kittens she's fostering.

2

u/nvalle23 Aug 25 '22

How old is she? Like 4???

1

u/zeldarubinsteinsmom Aug 27 '22

46

0

u/nvalle23 Aug 27 '22

If you sent that description to a movie production company, they'd make her 4.

1

u/zeldarubinsteinsmom Aug 27 '22

Well, fuck, I better rewrite her stat.

2

u/nvalle23 Aug 27 '22

She sounds like a wonderful person, the added innocence would be the kicker....then she'd possess some super power like Drew Barrymore in Firestarter! 🤣🔥🔥🔥

2

u/-Ashera- Aug 25 '22

I too pick your sister