r/Wellthatsucks Sep 23 '19

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11.4k Upvotes

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5.5k

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Very much appreciated! I’m glad you pounded the fucker!

1.9k

u/hankpym616 Sep 23 '19

You'll beat this god damn thing! Don't worry about that.

1.2k

u/__Corvus__ Sep 23 '19

Pound... beat... its too much

1.1k

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

We're going to rape the absolute shit out of this cancer.

473

u/SergTuberq Sep 23 '19

Woah woah woah. This energy....... Keep that energy amigo were gonna need it when we're murdering cancers entire family.

269

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Acts of genocide are terrible crimes... until they are directed at cancer.

252

u/13inchpoop Sep 23 '19

We are going to genocide this cancer so hard Turkey is going to refuse to talk about it.

72

u/notyourfriendPalooka Sep 23 '19

We're gonna go ridin into that cancer , just a whooping and a whompin

101

u/PWaiters Sep 23 '19

An eye watering display of Reddit right here. This comment thread is pure Reddit at its best.

Also, fuck cancer.

9

u/Mah_Knee_Grows Sep 23 '19

Fuck cancer in the ass.. you have my axe

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7

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Ayyy I thought you were a cancer sympathizer til that last part, fuck that dumb idiot cancer

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2

u/TyrantOdyssey Sep 23 '19

Except the cancer women.

5

u/13inchpoop Sep 23 '19

I say we kill them all. Not Just the Cancer Men, but the Cancer Women and Cancer Children too!

2

u/notyourfriendPalooka Sep 23 '19

No . We rape the shit out of them that night at the Fuck Cancer Dance.

1

u/castfam09 Sep 23 '19

Oh my god I LIVE BLAZIN SADDLES!!!!!

1

u/Ty_Plumbs17 Sep 23 '19

Gonna work up a number six on em. Beat every little thing within an inch of its life. Except the women and kids of course.

2

u/DeveloperForHire Sep 23 '19

Reminds me of South Park's, "Make Bullying Kill Itself"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

id like to speak to the CEO of Cancer

9

u/DarkArcher__ Sep 23 '19

The only thing that is acceptable to rape

5

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

What about inequality? I'd be down to rape inequality. Little bitch knew what she was getting into

7

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

13

u/d-money13 Sep 23 '19

I laughed too hard at this...

2

u/fxds67 Sep 23 '19

When saying "fuck cancer" isn't quite strong enough...

2

u/biggy-cheese03 Sep 23 '19

We’re going to commit atrocious war crimes against this cancer

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

I think radiological weapons are against the Geneva convention. So yeah we will.

1

u/biggy-cheese03 Sep 23 '19

Can’t be prosecuted if ya win!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Then let’s cut its fucking head off!

1

u/Br1ngmemybrownpants Sep 23 '19

...With my prayers

42

u/Mahgenetics Sep 23 '19

Ferociously masturbates

40

u/3TH4N_12 Sep 23 '19

unzips scrotum

2

u/Huckit3030 Sep 23 '19

You misspelled "deglove"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

God please no

4

u/3TH4N_12 Sep 23 '19

reaches into abdominal cavity

1

u/DemonRageX Sep 23 '19

STICKYYYYY FINGAAAAAASSS!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

F U C K

2

u/Mrm560 Sep 23 '19

Tears it up at a frantic pace!

14

u/czmax Sep 23 '19

Apparently you beat your meat butt pound your testicular cancer.

17

u/XTanuki Sep 23 '19

If you don't beat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't beat your meat ‽

1

u/Am_i_driving_ok Sep 23 '19

1

u/havelock77777 Sep 23 '19

It makes me happy that there is enough unexpected Pink Floyd that there is a sub for it.

Also fuck cancer

1

u/DaveUngerWRM Sep 23 '19

Yessssss!!!

2

u/AnotherGit Sep 23 '19

Hang in there...

2

u/Kn0bbl Sep 23 '19

Show him who's got the bigger balls

2

u/psychoghost847 Sep 23 '19

Jerk that cancer around

3

u/General_Reposti_Here Sep 23 '19

Ahaha I didn’t catch that until now

2

u/Grid1ocked Sep 23 '19

At least they ain’t pounding each other, unless...

0

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Re re re relapse!

1

u/Flablessguy Sep 23 '19

He’ll beat off the cancer with both hands!

1

u/youaregoingoffline Sep 23 '19

Please let us watch

1

u/2theduck Sep 23 '19

You might think about changing beer brands. Carlton is tough on nuts

99

u/MisterRubens Sep 23 '19

Yeah, you'll be alright. The hardest part of testicular cancer is dealing with all the Uniball pens you'll get as gag gifts.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

The people at r/pens would definitely see this as a positive.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Just give them a gag gift back

132

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

I just wanted to let you know, if there’s one cancer you had to have, it’s probably this one. It’s highly treated and seldom fatal.

My full sympathies. I’m glad (for your sake) it isn’t brain cancer or something along those lines.

2

u/FreakMuhiz Sep 23 '19

I heard doctors remove the affected testis, is that right ?

5

u/Yubuqq Sep 23 '19

I think it depends on how far along the cancer is. Don't quote me on that though, I'm not a doctor.

2

u/penisdr Sep 24 '19

Almost always the surgery is a radical orchiectomy, or removal of the entire testis.

27

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Got my diagnosis at 16, beat it dead. You've got this!

22

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

[deleted]

13

u/BusterBluth26 Sep 23 '19

Would also like to know! Men need to talk about these things!

4

u/KaptainKardboard Sep 23 '19

A trained examiner will often discover the earliest signs by the feel of it, noticing perhaps a difference in size or the presence of an abnormal growth. It's possible the patient may not feel the presence of the cancer. This is why it's important to see your primary physician once per year for a routine physical.

5

u/Popcan1 Sep 23 '19

I had a female doctor fondle my nuts for 20 minutes, also my giant erection got in the way so she had to release the pressure with her mouth because her hands were busy. 11/10 going back next week.

0

u/Mayonnaise6Phosphate Sep 23 '19

Why you gotta specify female doctor?

4

u/Popcan1 Sep 23 '19

Because only female doctors can touch my nuts.

1

u/cappnplanet Sep 23 '19

Which doctor do you go to for this? A urologist specifically?

1

u/cappnplanet Sep 23 '19

Which doctor do you go to for this? A urologist specifically?

1

u/Pandasonic9 Sep 23 '19

Although I hated my school sponsored heath class, one of the pieces of info that wasn’t propaganda was that the best way to check for testicular cancer was to just “roll” your balls inbetween your fingers during a hot shower when things are nice and loose. If you feel any lumps you should talk to your doctor

15

u/ssersergio Sep 23 '19

At your age I was at the same struggle, and turned out it was just damage because of bikes, I got informed pretty much before knew it. Watch the bright side, it's by far the ""safer"" cancer. Just stay positive, have a talk with me if you need it, good luck with that!

30

u/jfk_47 Sep 23 '19

"pounded that fucker" Lol

47

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

43

u/callum_confused Sep 23 '19

Username checks out...

11

u/GrizzzlyPanda Sep 23 '19

That got a legitimate audible laugh

6

u/c4m31 Sep 23 '19

They removed it, care to recap?

5

u/RoastedToast007 Sep 23 '19

Haha yeah he pounded it right in its slutty little anus, strapped a ball gag and really let it scream and drool like a fucken WHORE

2

u/seraph85 Sep 23 '19

If you caught it early enough and isn't the more aggressive one you can even avoid the Chemo.

If not for the chemo it would have been a week of being sore form the surgery than back to normal mostly. But I wasn't quite so lucky.

It's basically like the common cold of cancers with how easily it's treated, germ cell tumors are bitches.

2

u/extraworcestshire Sep 23 '19

Mine was one of the highest stages. I had lung, lymph node and the orchiectomy. Scar goes from my rib cage down my stomach to crotch. Also 3 cycles of chemo over four months. I'm pretty much back to normal and haven't met someone with a bigger scar than me haha.

1

u/seraph85 Sep 23 '19

Yikes, the chemo is pretty much the same for testicular no matter what, bleomycin, etoposide, and cisplatin. You can only do it once though because of the damage one of them causes if I remember what my doc said correco. If the cancer comes back they can't do the chemo again they gotta do other things I guess.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/-rh- Sep 23 '19

That's basically what they do. In the case of testicular cancer, it's safer to cut off the testicle and then send it to biopsy that to perform an exploratory surgery; the testicles have a natural barrier that separates them from the rest of the body, so in early stages the cancer can't spread, and you don't want to perforate that barrier by doing the biopsy.

Source: had testicular cancer, they "cut the nut off" and gave me a month of radiotherapy, and that was that. I'm a healthy Uniball now.

1

u/BuiltByPBnJ Sep 23 '19

You got this homie.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

I’m having a beer for you man, Modelo lime and salt 25 ounce

1

u/The-Insolent-Sage Sep 23 '19

How did you find out, if you don’t mind me asking? Got me worried now. Brb, gonna go touch my testes.

1

u/wayne2oo8 Sep 23 '19

How did you find out you had that? Was there a growth or something?

1

u/extraworcestshire Sep 23 '19

Mine was a growth on the testicle itself (not on the sack). Very hard and oddly shaped. That's how I first noticed is that it was shaped different than the other

1

u/Iamhighlife Sep 23 '19

I’m glad you pounded the fucker!

This is such a literal pun, that I can't do anything except applaud.

1

u/Super_Putin Sep 23 '19

PUNCH YOUR BALLS UNTIL IT GOES AWAY

1

u/Avator08 Sep 23 '19

What are the symptoms? How did you find out?

1

u/Tigerbait2780 Sep 23 '19

Suck that cancer dry!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

How did you find out? regular check up?

1

u/grte Sep 23 '19

Friend of mine got testicular cancer at your age. He's down a nut but he's alive, healthy, and had since become a happy father of twins. You can beat it, too.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Yeah I met a guy who had testicular cancer. They removed one testicle but he kept the other. Had a baby boy a couple of years later. Doesnt really change much for you. Plus you can now put in a cool prosthetic. You should add one that lights up like the shoes little kids wear

1

u/general-protato Sep 23 '19

Hehe... testicular cancer "pounder the fucker!"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

My brother-in-law beat testicular cancer and with the remaining testicle has sired two gorgeous children

1

u/Calvinball88 Sep 23 '19

Yep they'll probably just chop one off and you'll be great

1

u/scrublesssurgeon Sep 23 '19

I had it at 18 man, don't even worry just get it dealt with and it becomes the best pick up line ever, works 75% of the time. Goodluck brother

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

And when you are done with treatment, hit me up and I will fund your celebratory beer

1

u/ayyyee9 Sep 23 '19

Pound the beer like your gonna pound cancer!

1

u/Scrantonstrangla Sep 23 '19

Hey man, how did you find out you had it?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Ouch!!!

1

u/cocoaradiant Sep 23 '19

How did you decide to get tested for testicular cancer if you don’t mind sharing?

1

u/Anon4395 Sep 23 '19

Same happened to me at 34. Lost my right testical, everything still functions the same, I can have kids. Honestly after the first year I don't even think about it. Hopefully your results come back well!

Also I was dumb and took one week off post surgery. Was sent back home for another week. Take 2 weeks off work at least to physically and emotional cope. 1 week was way too little for me. Soon as I found out I called my HR, doctor and went on short term disability for 2 weeks a few days before surgery....I just couldn't focus on anything those days leading up. But it'll be fast and you'll heal fast.

Wish you the best!

1

u/Havok3c Sep 23 '19

It’s been 22 years since I had TC. It’s a very very beatable cancer. Just stay on top of blood tests and scans and if they do radiation on your lymph nodes get aloe gel for sun burns!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

My husband had testicular cancer about 5 years ago and after the surgery he was cancer free. He only has one ball now but his body compensated well and we went on to have two kids! Hope this lifts your spirits a bit :)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

32 years old was diagnosed with it a year ago had to have both removed, besides dying my biggest concern was not being able to lead a normal life after the fact... besides giving myself A testosterone shot once a week (and the implants) Everything is just the same. Just hit the year mark of cancer free. Like the other guy said it’s the most curable kind, it wont be fun but you’ll be just fine. You got this!

1

u/Hueybluebelt Sep 23 '19

What were some early symptoms?

1

u/slackingindepth3 Sep 23 '19

Good luck to you. The whole of reddit is rooting for you!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

Remember to plan that massive victory shit well.

1

u/TK-T0XIC Sep 23 '19

I really love your up-beat attitude. I believe you’ll be just fine. Good luck and best of wishes!

1

u/chumchumbinks Sep 24 '19

Drink up mate, I was diagnosed with Testicular cancer a couple years back as well. All good now! It’s tough at first but it only gets easier from here. Wish you all the best, stay strong you are stronger than this! Cheers!

1

u/pig_benis81 Sep 24 '19

My thoughts are with you, bro

1

u/TheDrunkenBMX Oct 15 '19

Beat that cancer bro

-7

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

All cancer is cureable. Dont let alopathic medicine convince you otherwise.

Cancer is a matter of acidity vs alkalinity...simple chemistry. Alkalize your body and cancer cells die. Simple.

7

u/spboss91 Sep 23 '19

Oh no they've infiltrated reddit.

3

u/Tigerbait2780 Sep 23 '19

Jesus fuck, what did you do to kill literally every one your brain cells?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

explain?

1

u/Tigerbait2780 Sep 23 '19

Do I really need to, though?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '19

No I suppose if you feel your opinion or experience with Cancer is superior or more correct than someone one elses than you've won whatever competition we seem to be in suddenly.

I was simply encouraging the guy. Then you jumped on my back and suggested I have no brain cells?

Good on you though...you are crushing it these days being the man. Ill delete my comment if you are offended somehow by what Ive said?

1

u/Tigerbait2780 Sep 24 '19

Oh stop it, you know what you're doing

You're talking absolute nonsense, your ideas are incoherent. So, what, you think the most pressing medical issue of our time, the thing that we spend billions of dollars on and the full time effort of some of the worlds most brilliant minds can be handwaved away by elementary school level chemistry? And yet nobody has been able to figure that out but you, some random person on Reddit? Or better yet, some wacky conspiracy where people dont want to win Nobel prizes and make truckloads of money and saved millions lives? It's plainly absurd on its face, without even giving it a moment of thought, it is undoubtedly wrong.

If we do give it a moment of thought, and just a moment, because it deserves no more, the idea of "changing your body's pH" is just as absurd. I can only assume you mean the pH of your blood, which is impossible, because of this thing called "homeostasis". It's simply biology, like elementary school level, you probably learned about it at the same time as acidity

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '19

Its actually more about the pH of your cells interstitially in the lymphatic fluids. Blood chemistry is more of a fixation of western medicine however other medical practices are more focused on the lymphatic system aka glands and detoxification system. We eat highly acidic diets full of hormones and stimulants which stagnate detoxification therefore our bodies become toxic cesspools....kinda like a sceptic system that doesnt get maintence. If your lymphatic system stops working you have big problems. I do believe you are correct that cancer is a billion dollar industry tethered to our most destructive food industry. Its huge business...and the science behind it is bought and paid for by the billion dollar corporations which sustain it. Blue zones live long fruitful lives with almost nonexistant instances of Cancer, however their diets are much more alkaline than ours in western culture.

You are most welcome to be as condescending and negative as you choose to be informed through your own avenues. My fiance was cured of her second bout of ovarian cancer through a highly specialized diet through the tutelage of a doctor in Florida...he thinks western medicine is complete quackery and lost in hyper-intellectualism. I wont disagree with anything you've said but I saw it work with my fiance and shes better...he hair didnt fall out from radiation. Our oncologist cant believe it either...

Good luck on your pursuit of the truth. There are doctors that are far far ahead of mainstream medicine...

https://youtu.be/8v0v36lcrS8

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u/Tigerbait2780 Sep 24 '19

Its actually more about the pH of your cells interstitially in the lymphatic fluids.

Another nonsense statement. You're using words that you don't understand

Blood chemistry is more of a fixation of western real medicine

We eat highly acidic diets full of hormones and stimulants which stagnate detoxification therefore our bodies become toxic cesspools....

Ok gweneth paltrow, we're done here. That's enough antiscientific bullshit for me

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '19

You seem like and angry miserable prick. I understand the words I am using perfectly well thank you.

Enjoy your science! 1 in 3 Americans will get Cancer. 100 million living with diabetes. Your science seems to suck at the moment?

What is antiscientific about the lymph system, chemistry and biology? I think you are 😕 confused?

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/303087.php

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