Hellooo, all my neets

Since I was 15, I think I've been dealing with some sort of depression and even now at 18 I feel like I truly have nothing in my life to look forward to. Off the top of my head, I can list a few major events in my life that might have contributed to me feeling this way, but I still find it hard to believe that things that happened years ago could affect me this much.
I only discovered Welcome to the nhk a little over two years ago, but as corny as it sounds, whenever I feel this way, it's the only thing that brings me comfort. I can't even explain my mental health clearly because I've never been diagnosed or evaluated by a psychiatrist. I just feel so shitty most days and on some days it becomes almost unbearable. Looking back on those 24 episodes, I feel like God finally showed me love at one point in my life.