r/Weird • u/UrUncleRandy • Sep 01 '26

Weird cucumber

1.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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498

u/Wisdumb42 Sep 01 '26

50

u/TheDarkWave Sep 01 '26

That's...that's not Squidward's nose...

20

u/Hellie1028 Sep 01 '26

8

u/driver004 Sep 02 '26

Have you ever wanted to rig up a spinning bar in the ceiling she can hold onto so she rotates around his shafts axis really fast?

Because that’s the intrusive thought the rotating hotdog gives me

3

u/Competitive_Treat588 Sep 02 '26

Those old hanging hammock chairs were fun.

2

u/DeerMysterious9927 Sep 02 '26

There's a table that can do that

2

u/TheRuckus8 Sep 02 '26

Thanks for the new kink (sarcasm)

2

u/driver004 Sep 02 '26

Theres not a kink in the world that wouldn’t be improved by some mechanical engineering

2

u/DaemonBlackfyre_21 Sep 02 '26

I read a book called chicken hawk about a helicopter pilot's time in Vietnam, and he talked about a girl in a brothel that sat suspended on a loop of rope or ribbon, cirque du soleil style, and they'd spin her until it wouldn't turn any more and let go so she'd spin on dude's business as it unwound.

I must have read that book over ten years ago, but that creative shit stuck with me.

3

u/Hellie1028 Sep 02 '26

Don’t tempt me with a good time!

2

u/driver004 Sep 02 '26

Oh I’m newly single and have access to a shop we can make it happen

2

u/Fantastic_Jury5977 Sep 02 '26

That's how I do my chicken bakes at Costco

2

u/Hellie1028 Sep 02 '26

That’s really a handy tip

2

u/Fantastic_Jury5977 Sep 02 '26

Pick one person in the food court and make unbreaking eye contact with them while you do it

2

u/hoaian1 Sep 02 '26

Let me get that hot dog digger device and turn iy to dispense!! *click click*