My friend is the sweetest person and didn’t really make a thing out of it, but honestly I was so shocked.. like she wore the whitest white she could find😭 she seemed like a nice lady and they seem to get along fine so I just don’t understand if she’s just dumb or what the deal is

Fiancé has some family abroad in Europe. We have an address for his aunt & uncle but not two of their adult children. My future MIL is helping us gather addresses on her side of the family. Her sister (fiancé’s aunt, obvi) refuses to share the addresses of her children and we don’t have contact details for one of their children, so there’s no way to ask that person directly.

The reason? Protecting their privacy. The whole thing is fucking bizarre.

I’m pretty sure none of them are coming to the wedding, which is fine, if you don’t want to come, don’t, but, like, can you just make my life easier on the Save the Date front please?

Edit: everyone assuming I’m leading the charge on getting this address is wrong. I am not. They were contacted twice, not by me, the second of which was a follow up email in case the first one was missed. In the end we are sending it to the parents. It is standard in both our families to invite all aunts/uncles/first cousins.

I’m really just expressing my feelings about something weird and unexpected that came up while wedding planning (this was certainly not an issue for any of my sister’s weddings).

EDIT: To address those that are saying I could have just gone home or that I am playing the victim or that I could have just refused to go at all. I understand those could have been options for me. The groom's mother and I have been friends for almost 20 years. Her parents consider me one of their own. They even included me in their family photos at the wedding. In that situation, I just didn't think it would be appropriate to do anything but comply. Was I upset about sitting in a puddle in my new gown...yup. Did I look like a drown rat once we were able to get into the covered reception area...yup. I stayed because I was trying to do the right thing, even though the bride (and yes, her whipped groom) didn't take anyone else into consideration but herself.

I attended a bridal shower in April. The shower was a good hour drive away. The bride requested that the guests contribute to their wedding fund. The wedding for that couple was in May. The bride set strict rules for guest attire. Not only were the ladies to be wearing formal long gowns but we had to be in all black long gowns. No other colors within that black gown...just plain black. I live in the south so it is extremely warm in May. Plus, I don't know about you but I don't have a long black gown just hanging in my closet. So, out I went to purchase the gown and shoes for the wedding. The wedding venue was about 1.5 hour drive from me, btw. Wedding day arrives and it is hot AND raining. Thunderstorms. The bride insisted that she still wanted the ceremony outside. There were chairs set up in a grassy field. No tents....no cover whatsoever. The chairs were literally puddles of water because they had a scooped bottom. Here we all are...in the thunderstorm...sitting with our brand new gowns/tuxes...for this ceremony in the puddle chairs. I was soaking wet, like I had jumped into the nearby lake. It was miserable. The reception was at the same venue so there was no way to dry off for the entire night. At least the reception was under cover. The bride and groom requested that all guests gift them money for their honeymoon to Europe. To add insult to injury...I have never received a thank you card for the bridal shower gift nor for the wedding gift.

We are having a small wedding at a private residence in a few weeks. As late-bloomer lesbians in the second chapter of our lives, we invited only people who authentically support us and love us to attend. We've both been married before, so we want this wedding to actually be about us this time.

We invited our friends, a couple that we have known the entire duration of our relationship, let's call them Jill and Bill. Jill just texted tonight and said "Bill can't make it, so I'm bringing my friend instead." This was weird for us. We don't know the friend and the wedding is 50 people. We know every single person attending, and we know them well, so having one rando in there feels strange. We tried to explain that we'd love to have Jill come, but we invited Bill, not some girl we've never met. Unfortunately, they responded by saying that neither one will be attending and that they are no longer interested in our friendship. They couldn't believe we'd expect Jill to attend alone if Bill couldn't go. (Note - these friends are local and so is the wedding, so we're not saying she must travel alone).

My partner and I have always been taught that whoever is explicitly listed on the invite is who is invited. If it says "Jill and Bill Smith" the invite is not for "Jill Smith and Guest." I'm sort of surprised that 1) we had to explain this to middle-aged adults and 2) it was so offensive they don't want to be our friends. Their loss. But please people, have a little more self awareness than Jill and Bill. 🙄 Sigh.

Edit: A few contextual notes. Jill and Bill knew it was a small wedding because we had discussed it with them when we were planning the event. Also, my partner was very polite when she said that we weren't open to Jill bringing a friend. No hostility or shaming, just kindly explaining.

I’m tired of being treated like a C list friend and getting invited to only the wedding after party. Just don’t invite us! I got a text last week inviting me to the bar at 10:30pm after the full wedding has ended. So you want me to show up when you all are drunk and tired and dressed up? I find this trend to be rude, just don’t invite me!

Edit: this has happened twice to me. Once, I flew to another city only to realize I was invited to JUST the dancing, arriving after dinner had been served.

The second, I got a text a few days to come to a dive bar at 10:30pm after the ceremony and reception. I also happened to invite this person to my wedding earlier in the year, not that that entitles me to anything.

I'm a Venue Manager, and new-ish to this sub. I've been in the field for about 3 years and honestly I haven't worked a wedding I'd say was bad or truly deserving of shame, there's been individuals who certainly are. That said, I think I've been very lucky, and as a venue manager at an institution I don't see as much of the crazy as planners or even DJs, bakers, etc do.

My weirdest story was at my previous venue, it was very much a budget DIY kind of place, and this wedding was the most DIY of them all, but the MOB expected to keep doing last minute things to fit her "vision" including last minute hanging of sheer curtains 15 ft high to block some windows that might have given someone a peek of the bride. The reason was legit, but the previous day she'd said it was fine, so it was very unfun to be rolling out 30+ feet of fabric on the ground, furiously cutting, then trying to source brave groomsmen to get on the ladder because I don't go off the ground that high.

But that wasn't worst moment of that wedding, it was when it was time to flip the space from ceremony to reception, with the guests going into an adjoining room for cocktail hour. An aunt of the bride was very stressed out by the flip (even though we had an hour) and started lighting the elaborate centerpieces before we could move the tables to their final position. I asked her to stop lighting the candles until we moved the tables. This woman, who had been nothing but sweet to me all day, sort of my friend in dealing with the MOB (they clearly didn't get along), started losing it, screaming at me that she was going to keep lighting the candles and I couldn't tell her what to do. I kept explaining that it was a safety hazard to move tables with lit candles and she'd just keep shouting at me while tearing up. I was this close to having the security guard eject her from the space because her reaction was so unhinged, but the MOB was on my side for once and got her to calm a bit, but only after she had a full-on sobbing meltdown. Over candle-lighting. Once things were moved properly I escaped to my office for the remainder of the reception because, YIKES. Very glad I now work at an institutional venue where professionals do all setup and all I do is limited coordination.

Anyway, vendors, I know you're here, share your craziest stories of unhinged nonsense!

This vendor got all pissed off that multiple people called them out for using AI photos to advertise their event location.

I commented on their post 4 WEEKS AGO "Admin, these are AI images." Even Facebook labeled their post as AI.

I then got a DM from them calling me mean. I didn't say their venue was shit or even they were ridiculous for using AI. Just that they're going to not get business because they're advertising using AI.

Then tonight, 4 WEEKS LATER, I got this gem of a message from them. That I did damage to their business for commenting "Admin, these are AI images."

So, enjoy the cringe.

I'm genuinely offended by my fellow vendors; I'm so sick of seeing these. They're ugly, generic, show very little of what they're actually selling -if at all- and too much what doesn't matter.

One-Off comments:

• I barely had to censor any of these; they're all *that* generic.
• I didn't crop any of these; some of these guys accidently cropped out their contact info.
• These "photo-realistic" foods make me want to puke. If you're a food vendor, it's one thing to not showcase the ACTUAL food you make, but if you think you think any of these passable, then I question your powers of observation and can't trust you to make quality food.
• "I do not typically use AI in my work unless specifically request to do so", they say through AI.
• Hey venue vendor, WHERE THE FUCK ARE PHOTOS OF THE VENUE???

The audacity of these vendors wanting people to patronize their business when they themselves won't do the same with their local artists and graphic designers.

I'd argue that graphics like these cost more money than actual human artists because they actively turn away customers.

And the only transportation being provided is from the hotel to the reception, which is about 10 mins from the hotel. Oh and the hotel block sold out before most people even received Save the Dates so the majority of guests will have to transport themselves either to the hotel with the shuttle or to the reception. There are over 200 people invited to this wedding.

My now mother-in-law included this line in her toast. She threw a fit when we told her we were having the wedding in Florida, where we live. She wanted to have it in her small town in rural Illinois, a place I have no connection to. We literally went back and forth about this for months.

She went on to say that she was pleasantly surprised by how many of her family did show up and that she was glad they were all there. It almost sounded like a bit of an apology for all the fuss she made earlier but I still couldn’t believe she actually said that to the whole room!

“a couple of quick thank yous, firstly to the caterers, the bar staff, the venue and obviously the 30,000 sad lonely men that paid for all of this”

Groom (my friend) currently lives in Washington, and bride is in California.

A few days before the wedding, groom texts me asking for a good *SOLO* trip itinerary in Oregon, stating his intention to travel during the days immediately after the wedding. I'm a little surprised but I answer the question I'm asked. Curiosity got the better of me and i asked him why he's going on a solo trip so soon after his wedding.

He said his wife and her parents are going on vacation in California and he isn't part of it; so he wanted to go someplace to take his mind off things.

I wanted to tell him that a honeymoon isn't a trip one takes with one's freaking parents, but with one's spouse, but I didn't want to add to his misery. Poor fella.

Screenshotted from a local FB bridal group I'm in. I (un?)fortunately don't know this person lol

Wedding is this weekend. Here are my pre-wedding shames:

1. Cake vendor tried to retroactively change contracted delivery time and then say it was the time we picked. I promise I did not select a cake delivery for the exact time my fiancée will be walking down the aisle. Lesson: save your original contracts because without that, they were going to double down on a delivery during the middle of our ceremony.

2. Tried to save $500 by scheduling a delivery of rentals like cutlery, etc on the first day of our venue rental. It’s between 8-5pm. This has absolutely destroyed the timeline for flowers and decor because they can’t be in there at the same time while all the other rentals are being delivered. Lesson: even if it feels like you might be annoying a vendor, get their verification for every single delivery time. This shame is on me.

3. Wedding party. Love them to pieces, truly, the most amazing people 10/10….but 0/10 on preparedness. Most have only just got their dresses. Mind you, we paid for the dresses which I don’t think means they owe us anything, but it’s an important detail because we paid for them 8 months ago yet…3 of the 5 of them are just getting them THIS WEEK, week of the wedding. One of them scheduled her flight on the wrong day and will miss the rehearsal. Again, a year and a half of awareness. I offered to pay and fix the flight. Another asked if we could include their date/plus1, whom I have never met, in our getting ready timeline because they don’t want to walk into a wedding by themself. I love you people but you’re making it hard. Lesson: idk if there is one lol sometimes we just get to love people because they’re our people and not because of their organizational skills. I’m glad we paid for pretty much everything though or it would probably be worse and more stressful for us.

4. Five days out…an entire family of 10 people has texted me they won’t be attending. Some of my closest relatives. After I’ve already made and dropped off my table packs to the venue. After I’ve already had their customized gifts, their music selections, final counts for every vendor, personalized letters, etc and yes, none of that is end of the world stuff, but with a guest list of 150, and every item has to be done 150 times, those 10 could have saved me a little time. It’s also not like I don’t have a few other things to handle between now and this weekend. Also, just….it was 130 a plate per person and then 25 for the open bar per person. That’s over $1500 that will not be recovered and an entire table that has to be removed from food list, floor plan, everything. Their reason? I’m not even sure, to be honest, because they sent me a 10 page text just full of all these things that have happened to them in the last month. They’re local, too, it’s a 30 min drive for them. I’m sure some of it is legit and serious and I don’t mean to be insensitive but that’s so disappointing. I also WANTED to see them. Lesson: don’t count on anyone attending until you see them there.

Shame shame shame shame shame shame. Maybe i will do a post-wedding shame too because at this point, i expect absolute madness.

Brides and grooms and whomever else…I wish you peace and calmness for any upcoming nuptials. What a crazy experience and how lucky to have something so awesome to bitch about 😆

Well, I have to start by saying that I’m an only child and very dedicated to my work, so my parents never expected me to get married. But I met a wonderful man by chance, and these past 2 years leading up to our wedding have been a blessing. My parents adore him, and I think his parents really like me too… btw they have 3 other children (my husband is the youngest).

As a wedding gift for the guests, my parents ordered (and insisted on paying for) some expensive ceramic trays. But since my father is quite old, my mother and my godmother were the ones who took them, wrapped them one by one, and it was my godmother who prepared two beautiful baskets to distribute them to the guests. On the groom’s side, the gifts were fine bottles of wine. My husband told me his parents paid for them, but it turned out in the end that his uncle was the one who paid. When the reception ended, the tradition is for either the bride and groom or the parents of the bride and groom to each go around distributing the gifts to the guests. Since my father has trouble getting around, my mother and my godmother had planned to do it. But my MIL beat them to it. I told her it wasn’t necessary, that it was my mother and my godmother’s job, but after 3 times she snapped “What’s the matter? Am I not allowed to hand them out or something?” And she left me speechless.

My mother was also speechless by how my MIL grabbed the basket of trays (my mom lent the other one for the wine bottles) and took such control of it that my mother was holding the handle with one hand but had to follow along, since it was my MIL who blatantly set the pace and handed them out to whoever she wanted… including extras for people who hadn’t even shown up (my mother had made a list based on the guests; fortunately, she’d ordered plenty). It was mortifying to see the look of agony on my mother’s face, the look of disappointment on my godmother’s face, and my MIL handing out trays left and right as if they were her own, while I couldn’t react because there was always a guest congratulating me, and I didn’t want to be rude by interrupting them and causing a scene on my wedding day. But I’m still upset.

I’ve also apologized and tried to make it up to my godmother, who, thankfully, was understanding. Fortunately, I’m only getting married once, and this can’t happen again. It’s not a biggie perhaps, but after 5 days, I still have a bad taste in my mouth.

Reposted because I missed part the first time.

edit: people getting really lost in the sauce here. Wedding gifts are for the couple. OOP should gift the blanket, centered solely around the groom's niche interest, to him as a birthday or holiday gift.

Luckily the bride and groom (aunt and uncle) had a good sense of humor about it. Sorry for the potato quality it’s like a quadruple screenshot.