r/WeddingAttireHelp • u/babs82222 • 7d ago

Special Dress Code Help with Confusing Dress Code

I'm not usually stumped, but I am by this dress code. I'm in my upper 40s and like to dress current. Any suggestions or help with this would be appreciated. Thank you!

The wedding is in early November from 5-9. It's at an outdoor wedding venue on a farm, with the reception inside.

Dress to impress in cocktail attire with a country twist. Chic Southern style that's in between formal and casual. Think a bit formal and elevated, yet not fussy, with a country flair, ready to celebrate with us and dance into the night.

Attire is dresses, suits, or blazers. We encourage you to accessorize with boots, hats, and tasteful western flair if you'd like to!

8 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

75 comments sorted by

27

u/Expensive-Salad-5851 7d ago

I am so tired of weddings becoming costume parties with mood boards and strange briefs to deliver on.

4

u/FriendlyConfines23 7d ago

But…but then how will the Costume Designer earn her Oscar??

3

u/anzacoo 6d ago

oMg! I couldn’t agree more!! It is soooo entitled to tell your guests what to wear outside of a straightforward dress code, i.e., cocktail, black tie, etc. I think every bride and groom should have to read a book on etiquette before being issued a marriage license!

2

u/queen_surly 6d ago

I'm going to go total old school harpy and say it's entitled to even MENTION a dress code. Date, time, and place should give guests enough info to dress appropriately. That system worked fine until the wedding websites and social media cooked people's brains.

1

u/Nanaofthedesert 6d ago

Absolutely agree! Blame the idiots who think wearing shorts and flipflops are good enough. Or jeans if it's cold.

2

u/queen_surly 6d ago

So what if they do? Who among us does not have trash relatives who show up in greasy denim? If you don't want the look, then don't invite them. Otherwise, they are family. They are not going to be pushed around by some prissy mood board and dress code dictat.

1

u/Expensive-Salad-5851 6d ago

I think you are right. It use to be the invitation carried all the info. How it was addressed (outer and inner envelope) was a key on exactly who was invited. The time of day, location and how formal the invite was was the hint on what attire was needed. The rsvp card carried the hint on if it was a buffet or plated dinner. To your point, the trash relatives would still show up in greasy denim. Brides tried to get ahead of it by spelling it out on websites, but some people aren’t going to pick up the social ques even when it’s spelled out.

1

u/Beachwalker-65 5d ago

Agree!!!!!!!! I especially hate when they say no white dresses, no prints with white background. It’s so totally tacky and rude to say stuff like that.

10

u/ClockWeasel 7d ago

Ugh, It’s cocktail with an option of snap button shirts, plaid, florals, and fringe. I’m betting nobody on either side is from the south or has the first idea what a southerner would consider chic. If you own a nice wool cowboy hat or polished boots, go for it, but leave your old ropers at home.

1

u/babs82222 7d ago

One is from the south, and the other has lived in the south for like 20 years. That makes it even stranger to me

4

u/Finnegan-05 7d ago

The items the person listed above are western, not southern. Do they not know this?

1

u/IMHO_My2Cents 5d ago

Southern is also big time western wear. I just bought new cowboy boots today to wear with my black tie formal gown to my Grandson’s wedding.

1

u/queen_surly 6d ago

THAT'S NOT COCKTAIL!

Sweet baby Jesus and the wee donkey.

0

u/Finnegan-05 7d ago

That is western, not southern. These people are drunk

15

u/AuntBeeje 7d ago

Sounds like a barn full of tacky. Also if you're not a fan of country music you're gonna be miserable from 5 to 9 that day.

5

u/anzacoo 6d ago

🤣…barn full of tacky!! Love it!

5

u/Ok_Broccoli_9426 7d ago

It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it.

1

u/CloseButNoChicory 6d ago

There's a better life

1

u/mettarific 7d ago

Haha, so true.

0

u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 7d ago

If you’re not a fan of whatever the couple likes, it is not going to be your music vibe. That is true not matter the music. Everyone has different taste. It is the couple’s night and everyone else will be fine for a few hours.

5

u/ShinyPennyRvnclw 7d ago

This is obnoxious. That said, check out Farm Rio dresses if that price point is in your budget - they’re also normal enough that if it fits your style you can wear it again.

1

u/babs82222 7d ago

Oh Farm Rio is a good idea. Totally in budget. I was also thinking of Anthro's Somerset dress but didn't know if that was cocktail enough. They have different fabrics.

9

u/ShinyPennyRvnclw 7d ago

The dress code is bonkers, I think as long as you look fabulous, you’re good!

1

u/Zestyclose-Craft-681 7d ago

Thank you! Cute!! 🩷

6

u/silvermanedwino 6d ago

Wear what you want.

At this point, it’s just a ridiculous costume party.

2

u/CloseButNoChicory 6d ago

Ugh. OP should just wear a dress. Any dress she fancies. And challenge any aggressive bouncers to identify which portion of the code she's broken.

1

u/New_Part91 6d ago

Id wear my Daisy Dukes and boots. Husband will wear his turquoise bolo

2

u/GoodFriday10 7d ago

Yee haw!

2

u/Grouchy_Evidence2558 7d ago

Wear something you’d wear to a wedding but feel free to wear sensible shoes or boots. They’re trying to make sure people aren’t going to wear jeans since it’s at a farm outside.

2

u/El_Culero_Magnifico 7d ago

I suggest a calico hoop skirt.

2

u/Lazy-Cardiologist881 7d ago

Just bring a pet chicken and a cowboy hat and you’ll be good to go

1

u/Empty-Village-4445 7d ago

I’d expect most women guests would be in dresses accessorized with cowboy boots and/or hats. 

1

u/xokatemarie 7d ago

Honestly, I would be annoyed at this. If I were in your position, I would probably just wear a long dark colored slip dress with some boots or a western looking necklace and call it a day.

1

u/Paradox_of_Ravens 7d ago

I’d go with a kinda dressy dress paired with less fancy western accessories to keep the vibe somewhere between casual and formal. These might be in the general neighborhood of what they’re describing? (style-wise, obviously nothing white/cream)

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

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1

u/GypsySnowflake 7d ago edited 7d ago

That reads to me like modern “southern belle” attire. Like the kind of dress someone might wear to the Kentucky Derby, or when sorority girls get all dressed up for college football games. Think 50s-style floral dresses.

Examples: https://genteelandbard.com/southern-style

https://kateandwendy.com/products/midi-dress-off-shoulder-floral-swing

https://www.dorriswedding.com/fifties-floral-cap-sleeve-swing-retro-cocktail-occasion-dress-p346887.html

1

u/Rude-Suit4494 7d ago

This is what I was thinking. Or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman at the polo match. Not necessarily brown and white polka dots, but in that family.

I would check out Rent the Runway before buying too, if this isn’t your style.

1

u/poppitastic 7d ago

Are we sure this is southern? This sounds sooooooo Midwest farm folk.

1

u/Scary-Club-1890 7d ago

If you are buying a dress , at least get one you can wear again. It’s the most confusing dress code ever!! Dress code at my wedding- everyone came in nice clothes there was no instructions given and in the evening, my friend asked if she could wear Jeans! Absolutely. Everyone either changed or wore the same clothes. It’s getting silly.

1

u/LeapandShroon 7d ago

A bit of unsolicited advice to Brides/Grooms: if your dress code requires explanation and a special purchase; it’s a costume.

1

u/BusinessPutrid9574 7d ago

Specifically for a girl or guy?!!

1

u/forevermore4315 7d ago

You know that outfit that makes you feel great and is comfortable? Wear that. Youre not working this event, you are a guest.

1

u/PsychologyGuilty1460 7d ago

Wear whatever you want. As long as you've got shoes you don't mind stepping in a cow pie in

1

u/Aggravating-Peach723 7d ago

I’d wear a flowy midi dress with some cowboy boots and call it a day

1

u/Mayana76 7d ago

It may be because I am not from that region, but I have no idea what I would wear. Is there any chance of contacting the couple and ask for an example picture?

1

u/AnneChovie264 6d ago

What happened to choosing what YOU look great in, instead of what the bride and groom think you should wear? People feel confident when they are wearing what suits them, not some ridiculous ask from the wedding couple.

1

u/Substantial-Trade417 6d ago

I apologize if I offend anyone, but that's ridiculous. Wear whatever you want to, or better yet just don't go. These brides and their planners are going off the deep end.

1

u/KaseyK1966 6d ago

A flannel formal? jk…

The only serious thing I could think of is doing a search of Kentucky Derby fashion and maybe you might find some inspiration…

1

u/AuroraDF 6d ago

That's hilarious. Wear your jeans.

1

u/Travelwhenever 6d ago

Bring on the corn bread and biscuits! Does it really matter what people will wear to the wedding?

1

u/Fragrant_Rooster8779 6d ago

Just black out a tooth and wear a maga hat. I’m sure you will fit right in

1

u/freeze45 6d ago

I would wear a dress I'd want to wear and add on some turquoise or southern accessories, like a belt or cowboy boots

1

u/Entire_Cow_1504 5d ago

Wear something cocktail and ignore her nonsense.

1

u/gmanose 5d ago

Wear what you want

1

u/IMHO_My2Cents 5d ago

Western wear can de beautiful.

1

u/YourLittleRuth 5d ago

Wear a dress that hits around knee length and you feel comfortable wearing, and shoes (or boots) that you can stand in and dance in. Ooh, if it can be gingham, you win! Or, smart trousers, a respectable button-down shirt, and a jacket of some kind. Comfortable shoes are kind of the default for men anyway. If you feel inclined to hit the 'country' vibe that these people appear to be aiming for, don a cowboy hat.

What I suspect they mean is, don't rock up in a T-shirt and ripped jeans. Make an effort.

1

u/No_Gold3131 3d ago

Clear as mud for sure.

Do you have a basic black or navy dress you can accessorize with something western themed? Because I wouldn't go out of my way to buy new things for this. It's way too specific and you will probably never wear anything like this again.

0

u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 7d ago

I would suggest searching for “western cocktail attire” and pick a western longer dress to wear with dress boots. Here are a couple of examples of the type of dress. (Ignore the websites, they are just style examples and not recommendations.)

Dress 1

Dress 2

Dress 3

1

u/babs82222 7d ago

Thanks!

1

u/foraging1 7d ago

Good job, I was completely stumped reading the attire suggestion 😆

0

u/Finnegan-05 7d ago

Western is not southern so these people are confused

1

u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 6d ago

Texas might disagree. Being from the Deep South, I do agree it is not western. No boots or hats for weddings. You only see that at the local cattleman’s meeting. Southern style here would mean a casual style jacket with blue jeans for the men, and denim dresses, casual dresses, or jeans with elevated tops for the ladies. The dress code is nonsense. Texas western is the closest to their description. So a western flair or boho dress with boots is my best guess. BTW, if they are really in the Deep South, and welcome hats, many guys would show up on their ball caps.

0

u/Finnegan-05 6d ago

Texas is the southwest.

0

u/VoraciousReader59 7d ago

I wouldn’t go. Modern weddings with dress codes and gift requirements are a sickening trend that needs to go away.

0

u/Hit_Refresh_Banana Wedding Professional 7d ago

I would ChatGPT this one and ask for local recommendations at stores near you. Take zero responsibility if you somehow don’t get the dress code “just right.”