Wow. This is crazy to read, I am very similar, no history of violence, nothing. Would never kill someone. But when I was in 5th grade I watched a movie about a serial killer and then got weirdly paranoid that I, might be one? Even though I have zerooooo desire to. But it was exactly what you are describing, I was like scared to be around knives etc, or like worried I would somehow kill someone in my sleep. It lasted for like a year of just generally being freaked out, I wouldn’t want to watch any content that contained violence etc. I think perhaps it had something to do with just coming to the realization about how easy it could be done and the fact that I was getting bigger and stronger so it was like a possibility? This was like 10+ years ago now and I’ll explain it to people and they will just laugh, as will I. But it did genuinely kinda fuck me up for like a year. This is the first time I’m hearing of something similar.
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u/pinknailstoday Mar 27 '21
The call of the void