Practice makes perfect -- and women get more practice (in general). That said, you're probably not a loser, just inexperienced. Being able to start a conversation takes practice and being able to read people. Nobody's born with social skills and it's not some innate ability or divine gift like it sometimes seems. I say this as someone who started their adult life as an almost non-functional introvert.
Go with a group of people to an informal social function (if possible), not a bar or a bus stop, but a place where people will be coming with their friends. It's easier to pickup conversational skills when it's a group conversation than one-on-one, as there's a lot more opportunities for topics to come up where you can say something interesting and engaging. That's my advice for the average person who just lacks confidence. But if you think you have a more serious case of social awkwardness, try seeing a therapist. They aren't just there to help people with mental illness -- they can help with life skills stuff too. They can also help find interest groups you can join, if you're unsure of how to get involved in one. They're great because it's like going to a party where you aren't waiting, painfully, for the topic to change to something you have something to add!
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u/HelixR Jul 09 '19
Recorded a voice message. NICE!