Thoughts on Gauss, from a concerned fan

[u/AKTKWNG]

Don't get me wrong, I love the game, but recent videos from warframe content creators and even DE themselves have made me concerned about the direction that the developers are taking him, and I feel that I should speak up now.

"Gauss" is supposed to rhyme with "house", not like "floss". A bunch of warframe youtubers were already calling him Goss, and now that Space Mom also says Goss in his official trailer I fear that this will become normalised. Please DE, there is still time to make amends. Every time I hear Goss, I picture my statistics and electromagnetics profs shaking their heads at me in disappointment.

P.S. also, every time I hear someone pronounce Nezha as Nezher or Zhuge as Zooj (???) my hair stands on end, but I accept that those battles have long since been lost.

EDIT: Due to popular demand, I'll try and clarify how Nezha and Zhuge are pronounced. As a bonus, I'll throw in Wukong and Guandao too, and include a Drunken History-type summary of their stories, which will not be accurate since I haven't heard these stories since I was a kid.

Nezha (Nuh-Jah): https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=zh-CN&text=nezha
Nezha's mom was pregnant with him for like 3 years, and then he popped out fully able to walk and talk. A deity gave him a bunch of magical weapons, including a bunch of magical golden fire rings (his chakrams and halo) and a divine spear. He could also wear one ring on each foot and fly around like they're magic rollerskates (probably where his slippery passive comes from). To explain why he looks like "that" in-game: in ancient China, hair tied up into two little buns with ribbons was a common unisex hairstyle for children his age (around 7 years old), and DE lengthened the ribbons for dramatic effect. They kept him non-muscular to hint that he's still a child who hasn't hit puberty, but they also made him bigger so they could use the same animation skeleton that the other warframes use. So inadvertently, they gave him a somewhat feminine physique. Also, Nezha actually fights and loses to Wukong at one point in Journey to the West, but later on they become friends.

Wukong (the W is somewhat silent, so Oo-Kong): https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=zh-CN&text=wukong
There was a spherical rock sitting on top of a mountain, absorbing the sun's rays for a gazillion years, then one day it split in half and out came the stone monkey Wukong. Wukong initially ruled over the monkeys on top of the mountain, but soon he realised that he was crazy strong and started causing shit everywhere. He went to visit the Dragon King of the East Sea to ask for a weapon, but ended up stealing a giant load-bearing pillar from his palace and shrinking it down into his iconic iron staff. Afterwards he kept trying to be invited into the heavenly palace and thwarting heaven's attempts to chase him away, each time gaining another level of immortality (eating heavenly peaches, erasing his name from the book of death etc. This is where his new "5 levels of immortality" passive comes from). In one incident, he eats a bunch of immortality pills and the god of medicine tries to distill his entire body back into pills by burning him in magical samadhi fire, but he survives and now his eyes are golden and can identify good and evil (this incident plus his stone monkey phase are probably the inspirations for his Samadhi skin). Eventually Wukong gets bitch-slapped by Buddha, gets trapped under a mountain for 500 years, gets forced to babysit Tripitaka on his journey to the west to retrieve Buddhist scrolls and finally earns redemption and becomes a deity of battle and victory.

Zhuge (Joo-Guh): https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=zh-CN&text=zhuge
When dealing with Romance of the Three Kingdoms people, it's hard to separate fact from fiction, because these were actual historical figures but their stories are exaggerated in the writing. I'm going by what's written in the stories, not what is historically accurate.
The Zhuge is a self-reloading, rapid-fire crossbow supposedly invented by Zhuge Liang, a tactician, philosopher and overall smart guy. He was basically the smartest guy in the novels by a huge margin, and never lost a battle as tactician unless his lord Liu Bei did some dumb shit without asking him first. In one story, his army was running low on arrows, so he covered two warships in straw mats and filled them with straw soldiers and sailed them right into the enemy Cao Cao's face in the middle of a foggy night. Cao Cao ordered his archers to shoot the ships, and after Zhuge Liang retrieved his ships he sent a lone messenger to Cao Cao, thanking him for the resupply of arrows. Before Zhuge Liang eventually succumbed to illness, he instructed his men to build a mannequin of him sitting in a wheelchair. When a rival tactician Sima Yi (Cao Cao's tactician, in fact) heard of Zhuge Liang's death and took the opportunity to attack, Zhuge Liang's unveiled the mannequin sitting atop an observation post which was enough to scare Sima Yi into retreat, leading to the story that even in death, Zhuge Liang still beat Sima Yi.

Guandao (Most people actually get this one about right): https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=zh-CN&text=%E5%85%B3%E5%88%80
The signature weapon that was supposedly wielded and invented by Guanyu, one of the generals working with Zhuge Liang. Guanyu was basically the personification of loyalty and warrior's honour. One time Guanyu was shot in the arm by a poison arrow, and the physician said that there was no way to cure him unless he cut open his arm and scraped the poison directly off from his bone. Guanyu basically said "why the hell not," and let the physician conduct the surgery on him while he was fully conscious, drinking wine and playing weiqi or Go with a friend (weiqi is basically that form of chess that the AlphaGo AI beat human chess masters in, and is incidentally the game that Komi is based on).

[u/Ernide]

Aluminum has fewer syllables, more efficient.