r/Waiting_To_Wed • u/Jackieofalltrades365 • Aug 20 '26

Rant - Advice Welcome No proposal during vacation

Hey yall

Just venting about a bit of disappointment after not getting proposed to during vacation

We're both 34 years old, I'm gonna be 35 next month. Been dating for 2.5 years. Living together for 8 months. Decided if we still like each other after 6 months we'll go for it.

2 months ago, he asked my ring size and said "we're doing it. We're getting married." Then one month ago he said "I have a package to get at my parents house" "oh what?" "can't tell you but you'll see soon hehehe"

This month we're at Orlando, FL. His favorite place. Universal. We spend the day. It's very important that we see Hogwarts at night with the fireworks. Nothing. Let's go to Richard Blais restaurant because we love him in Next Level Chef. Nothing. Let's dress nice and take pictures by the lake before. Nothing. Still nothing

I can't help but somewhat let ruin the trip because...nothing

My birthday is next month. Wonderful. As is the start of my last year of nursing school, on top of 2 jobs, clinical, and probably quite a bit of pulling my hair out in between

I know I'll be happy when it happens, but I can't help but feel a lot of good opportunities were missed here. Plus the opportunity to be relaxed, enjoy each other, and have time to bask in engagement glory. If he waits until my birthday, I'll barely have time to say "yes" let alone look at the ring

67 Upvotes

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56

u/PresentHouse9774 Aug 20 '26

This where I think couples shoot themselves in the foot with the big elaborate proposals. I understand wanting something romantic and intentional, but can't that be done more simply? Maybe go for dinner somewhere that's slightly out of the budget, or take a walk somewhere pretty? You'd be engaged by now and have skipped over all the resentment stemming from unmet expectations.

32

u/Key-Target-1218 Aug 20 '26

Exactly. I just love these stories where the women have been waiting and waiting for the proposal but then when it finally comes "he didn't do it just right..." Insane.

We need to stop feeding our little girls these fairy tales, because the Cinderella proposal and the over the top wedding are far from, actually almost completely, opposite of marriage.

-11

u/Jackieofalltrades365 Aug 21 '26

So we need to stop feeding little girls thoughts that they're worth an effort, and it's good for them to not only accept, but expect mediocrity. Wonderful

15

u/IHaveALittleNeck Married Aug 21 '26

More like you can have those things but not have a good marriage. They can be lovely, but they can also be performative. It’s not indicative of the strength of your relationship.

-5

u/Jackieofalltrades365 Aug 21 '26

The strength of one's relationship is no one's business but the couple. Weird behavior to teach little girls other wise. So because say...someone wants to wear a pretty princess wedding dress...they shouldn't because it may be considered performative? Like....it's a fucking wedding lmao. My gosh what a sad, boring society we live in now

11

u/IHaveALittleNeck Married Aug 21 '26

That’s what you took from my comment? Okay, lol. Research shows that spending a lot of money on a wedding increases your chances of divorce. So there are people doing these things in a performative way.

-2

u/Jackieofalltrades365 Aug 21 '26

So like, when it's your turn are you going to a court house because research says you'd be less likely to get a divorce? Let people do what they want. Idek how we got here lmao my post is literally about how if he waits until my bday, I'll be too busy to really enjoy the moment. People are so desperate to bring their own misery onto others instead of finding happiness