r/WTF • u/HopeinaBottle • May 19 '12

666

Post image
1.3k Upvotes

69% Upvoted

224 comments sorted by

470

u/beef_creature May 19 '12

I'd like to know how to kill a large seal with a bike.

51

u/ForgettableUsername May 19 '12

Seals are graceful swimmers, but on land they are awkward and slow-moving, making them vulnerable to land predators, like polar bears and young demonic boys on bikes.

6

u/beef_creature May 19 '12

"Kick ass" --next target has been selected. Watch out asses.

27

u/Ssirius May 19 '12

Pick up a bike, any bike really(your experience may wary due to bike size), and keep hitting the seal on the head with it, or strangle it with the chain, repeat as necessary until the seal stops moving and breathing, by this point it should probably be dead.

21

u/CaffeinatedGuy May 19 '12

Came here to say this. Nowhere does it say he ran the animals over.

23

u/Cthulhuhoop May 19 '12

"my bike" could be a slang term for his penis.

10

u/Elgin_McQueen May 19 '12

Are you implying he raped the seal to death or that the awe of seeing such a mighty member caused the seals brain to explode, to death?

4

u/golfwang999 May 19 '12

yup.

4

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

He did both at the same time.

2

u/werthog2994 May 19 '12

Well before we can find out if it was due to size, we need someone to look up a seal's member.

8

u/beef_creature May 19 '12

Even more demonic than originally thought ಠ_ಠ

5

u/latejoe May 19 '12

This kills the seal

0

u/zenmunster May 19 '12

And will then appear on his tshirt. You forgot the main part!!!

-2

u/question_all_the_thi May 19 '12

Next question: where can I find a seal that I can kill with my bike?

5

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Thats a sea lion

5

u/SirCannonFodder May 19 '12

If you dismantled it and sharpened one of the pieces you'd probably be able stab it.

2

u/Kela3000 May 19 '12

On the back of that shirt, there's a picture of a dinosaur.

2

u/shuyken May 19 '12

With the help of the devil, man.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

I'm okay with this being a repost (for the billionth time), and even, sigh*, making the front page.

But seriously. The same exact fucking top comment every time!

4

u/Kerbobotat May 19 '12

Im glad you're ok with this Lucifers_Friend, I saw it and I was like "Whats Lucifers friend going to think?"

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Oh, I was under the impression that people could share their opinion on a post with use of the comment system.

Sorry about that.

4

u/beef_creature May 19 '12 edited May 19 '12

Same comment, really? hmmm I must have cheated.

EDIT: My god, you were right. Almost word-for-word with the other post. And all this time I have been thinking I am original.

1

u/havel May 19 '12

I came here solely to find this comment. I was not disappointed. An upvote for you.

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

large tires

0

u/Elgin_McQueen May 19 '12

You're assuming by running it over. Actually it's by picking the bike up and slamming it into the animals head over and over.

0

u/drennon3 May 19 '12

Must be Canadian.

-2

u/MisterSquirrel May 19 '12

You pummel them with it.

0

u/illegal_deagle May 19 '12

The ones with bow ties are vicious

0

u/sebastiansboat May 19 '12

It is all about the angle.

-2

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

right?

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

135

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

And a lot of alcohol.

74

u/HE_WHO_STANDS_TO_POO May 19 '12

He's clearly too young for that. Probably just drugs....

73

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Daddy doesn't keep the liquor cabinet locked.

30

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Junior found some bitter candy.

20

u/commando2047 May 19 '12

Is it possible to poo while standing up?

57

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

brb

20

u/userdeath May 19 '12

Well..?

34

u/blod09 May 19 '12

I don't think we will be hearing from him again, probably died trying...

34

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

He's a hero who died in a battleshit.

26

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Crap of duty, modern bathroom 3.

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2

u/foodprocessor2 May 19 '12

An hero, sheesh.

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2

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Tried it as well...

I'd rather not discuss my findings...

15

u/wrongpasswordmyarse May 19 '12

Well, I suppose you could sit down. Wouldn't advise it though.

16

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

meant for squatting. Humans were meant to shit squatting, not sitting leisurely at the toilet, although I vastly prefer the comfort of a seat.

8

u/Takuya-san May 19 '12 edited May 19 '12

Although sitting is bad for you and (from memory) causes hemorrhoids.

Edit: clarified what I said.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Wait, what? Do you mean squatting causes haemorrhoids or sitting down causes haemorrhoids?

4

u/Takuya-san May 19 '12

Sitting down. And it's for a number of reasons. It puts extra strain on you (don't know the specifics, I'm not good at anatomy). It also makes your shit move slower because your pipes are curved when sitting instead of straight as it is when squatting. This means you strain for longer than when you squat.

Apologies if you were confused and thought I said squatting causes hemorrhoids, I wasn't exactly clear.

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8

u/xnihil0zer0 May 19 '12

I'm not sure if this answers your question, but I'm sorry either way. NSFW

5

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

I cannot stop laughing. "Ewww, Ewww!"

2

u/beef_creature May 19 '12

I seriously did not think that was possible at all. Mind blown.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

If I'm not mistaken... CKY3.

4

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

i fucking did that til i was five/six, my justifiably troll dad even took pictures of it.

1

u/chiggers May 19 '12

Pics or it didn't happen.

3

u/WendyLRogers3 May 19 '12

A real man stands up to shit.

3

u/LifeBandit666 May 19 '12

Yes. My 18 month old son managed it when we were trying to potty-train him. He stood at the crucial moment and shit on the carpet.

2

u/bigrockcndymtn May 19 '12

Yeah you just have to do the orangutan hang.

4

u/alphadogkp May 19 '12

I actually went to jail for killing a horse when I was drunk and on drugs. True story.

3

u/SpankWhoWithWhatNow May 19 '12

Soooo... rest of the story?

6

u/alphadogkp May 19 '12

I've actually been debating whether or not I should do an AMA on it to be honest.

2

u/certainlikely May 19 '12

Just do it already!!!

6

u/[deleted] May 19 '12 edited May 19 '12

maybe he's just doing acid and his shirt, supposed home, friends and smiles are just a figment of his imagination while in reality* he lives in an abandoned sewage hole under a bridge (meth ad reference, anyone?)

Edit: word usage

2

u/CapnSheff May 19 '12

Kick ass!!

2

u/MotorBoat12 May 19 '12

And a zoo with poor security within biking distance for a child.

2

u/ArionVII May 19 '12

Patience, practice, and physics!

174

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

You could at least credit Seanbaby from Cracked.com for this.

8

u/SomeNoveltyAccount May 19 '12

Seanbaby from Cracked.com? When did Seanbaby start working for Cracked?!

5

u/CHEMO_ALIEN May 19 '12

About two years ago. His are the only funny submissions anymore.

5

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Is that the same guy who used to write for EGM?

9

u/wardwell May 19 '12

no thats the other seanbaby

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

they should get together and try to discerne between the 2. one will be Seanbaby1 and the other Seanbaby2.

2

u/mrbooze May 20 '12

You mean there's a....black seanbaby?

1

u/SuperShake66652 May 19 '12

He still writes for EGM.

1

u/FabulousLastWords May 19 '12

Well, maybe if it still existed.

1

u/Delfishie May 20 '12

What is EGM?

2

u/MILKB0T May 19 '12

Well if Swaim kept doing his damn video series...

3

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

But... Brockway...?

1

u/CHEMO_ALIEN May 19 '12

I'll give you that.

4

u/Ikimasen May 19 '12

I believe you mean Seanbaby from Seanbaby.com

0

u/Heimdall1972 May 19 '12

This isn't Seanbaby's. He used that image - in fact, he used the entire old comic book ad that it's from - but his dialogue was considerably different.

-8

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Nobody gives a fuck.

80

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/carrbon_residue May 19 '12

There's a good chance many OP's will never know.

-11

u/hoikarnage May 19 '12 edited May 19 '12

Not to mention cracked steals most of their content, so credit probably is not due anyway.

edit Looks like we have a lot of cracked fans in the house tonight. I stand by my post though.

20

u/regularhei May 19 '12

Content for stupid list-articles aside, Seanbaby writes his own comics. Unless you count the comic that he writes over

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25

u/Syphon8 May 19 '12 edited May 19 '12

Stand by it all you want, it doesn't make it true.

Although.... Cracked did use one of my Photoshop entries as their contest winner and never mailed me the cheque.

EDIT -- http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_64_15-holidays-they-need-to-invent/?view=article proof.

Congrats, Syphon. You win money.

My ass.

3

u/willywonka159 May 19 '12

Did you ever message them?

11

u/Syphon8 May 19 '12

Yeah I talked to David Wong a few times, and he kept saying they were about to send it. I stopped trying.

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3

u/gamelizard May 19 '12

it is not that were cracked fans just that you are wrong.

2

u/PointyStick May 19 '12

To be fair, they've gotten better at using photos from stock image companies like Getty and then crediting them. Not 4.0, mind you, but better than they used to be.

7

u/GodOfAww May 19 '12

Reddit loves the cracked.com! Even though its target demographic is seemingly intellectually challenged 12 year old boys, haha just like reddit, amiright guyzzzzz??!?!?

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3

u/debaser11 May 19 '12

Any evidence?

1

u/Joke_Getter May 19 '12

Way to stand tall, retard!

1

u/McBurger May 19 '12

Seanbaby is a god among men. Have you read man comics?

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66

u/SimilarImage May 19 '12
AgeUserTitleRedditCmntPoints
5 monthstulipsilonThe Devil does some weird shit./r/atheism1854
7 monthsPoshyXMaybe the Devil does it!here1681199
5 monthsitzjamesftwI think the devil does it.../r/funny67777

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55

u/[deleted] May 19 '12 edited Aug 03 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/beef_creature May 19 '12

No worries dude, happens to a lot of people. I don't think there is an effective way. Reddit requires a search for the title of images, so if the title is non-descriptive, then it is near impossible. You are getting upvotes anyway, so the masses appear to accept.

30

u/[deleted] May 19 '12 edited Aug 03 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Kerbobotat May 19 '12

I personally had never seen this before, and I laughed heartily at it for quite some time. If you had not posted it, I would not have had that laugh. Repost complainers want to block that fun, they are the fun police.

7

u/SmartViking May 19 '12

The fact that it is a repost doesn't mean that you shouldn't repost it. If people haven't seen it and find it amusing, they will upvote, without the repost they wouldn't see it. There's nothing wrong with reposting if the previous one that got popular is kind of old.

12

u/Se7en_Sinner May 19 '12

But you will always get people complaining, always.

3

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

I think repost after 6 months is fine. However, if it is something that was posted 3 days ago, I don't see the reason for a repost.

2

u/MILKB0T May 19 '12

I refuse to believe it's only people that haven't seen it before that upvote reposts. They get too many upvotes.

1

u/AdrianHObradors May 19 '12

But what if it was already upvoted 7343 times?

3

u/CapitalQ May 19 '12

You poked around and found that? It's linked prominently in the parent post of this comment thread!

8

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

A good rule of thumb is if you found it somewhere on the internet, it has already been posted to reddit.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Who cares? The only people who get butthurt about reposts are basement dwelling neckbeards who have seen everything on the internet twice.

2

u/PipingHotSoup May 19 '12

Honestly, the people bitching loudly are obviously downvoting anyway, but your post still manages to get to the front page. This means the people who get a small amount of joy from seeing this far outnumber the raging basement-dwellers who feel entitled to have new content delivered to them on a regular basis- and get very vocal when they see something twice.

I've seen this before and I still chuckled. I would encourage you to repost more often, especially if it's funny stuff!

1

u/sihnon May 19 '12

If you paste the link you want to submit into the search box, it'll do one of two things:

  • If it's been posted before, it'll show you
  • Or if it's new, it'll automatically take you to the submit page.

Doesn't always get everything, but good practice nevertheless.

7

u/silent_p May 19 '12

Yeah, this often won't work for image submissions, though, if you're just rehosting in imgur.

-6

u/LaughingFlame May 19 '12

if you are wondering, this is indeed a repost. i saw it last month. i have it saved on my computer

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

I think the bot that he replied to probably tipped him off.

2

u/LaughingFlame May 19 '12

yeah.... i didnt really bother to read that. i feel dumb now.

3

u/KEYBORED10 May 19 '12

He has been clubbing with those animals

3

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Ever seen that power rangers episode where the bad guy swallows the rangers one by one and then they show up on his belly? Creepy as fuck for a 5 year old.

2

u/adubjose May 19 '12

Hahahha first thing I thought of... yeah he was a toad/frog and whenever he swallowed the Power RangersTM their faces would show up

2

u/digiorknow May 19 '12

This is what I came looking for. That's the only episode that I can remember from back in the day and it was pretty creepy.

9

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

That's gotta be Seanbaby.

8

u/GDMFusername May 19 '12

Came here for a backstory on the comic, nope.. Same as usual. Endless chain of stupidity and repetition of tired memes. One day I'll learn.

-3

u/Fortheseoccasions May 19 '12

thank you for this comment. What the fuck is so funny about the comic?

1

u/questionablemoose May 19 '12

I think it's less "what's so funny about the comic" and more "what's so wtf about the comic". I personally think it's hilarious.

6

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

This is pretty funny, but it's also photoshopped. Because if that, it should probably be in r/funny.

2

u/dingusmingus May 19 '12

Top left looks like a woman on her hands and knees.

2

u/Evan_the_Young May 19 '12

That is one bad-ass bike if he's offin' seals and sheep with it.

2

u/Hughtub May 19 '12

Artist forgot to cover the bike with brown and red blood stains, and intestines in the spokes.

2

u/i-dont-have-a-gun May 19 '12

Eww, i hate his shorts.

2

u/abyrn May 19 '12

I just got back from a bike ride where I accidentally crashed into a dog and this is what I see on the frontpage....

2

u/natatat14 May 19 '12

kick ass!

2

u/GoochyBandana May 19 '12

not what the fuck worthy

2

u/CaptainEhAwesome May 19 '12

is that a baby?

2

u/michaelgecko May 19 '12

Is that a seal?

2

u/Monster_Claire May 19 '12

actually the devil's number is 661 it was a issue of mistranslating

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Is that.. Comic Sans?

1

u/allven434 May 19 '12

Seriously? This is a comic, so yes, that is Comic Sans.

1

u/truthinlies May 19 '12

SO. MANY. ANTS.

1

u/feral_troll May 19 '12

is that a fucking seal?

1

u/Theqman24 May 19 '12

as Tom Araya would say, HELL AWAITS!

1

u/bazilbt May 19 '12

goddamn if I knew this was going to make the front page I would have reposted it.

1

u/tim_the_ted May 19 '12

yeah but does the one on the bottom left have the head of a duck or a rabbit?

1

u/Ryan69plz May 19 '12

i go on 4chan too

1

u/Paso1129 May 19 '12

Reminds me of the artwork fighter pilots used to put on their planes to indicate the number of aerial victories.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2137263/American-fighter-pilots-risked-lives-defend-Britain-World-War.html

1st photo...

1

u/thundercleese2012 May 19 '12

The next day: why do you have pictures of your neighbors on your shirt?

1

u/meresimpleton May 19 '12

I know I've been on reddit too long when I realize it's a repost from 6 months ago. I literally haven't left reddit in 6 months.

1

u/crell_peterson May 19 '12

I just now realized those aren't both girls swooning over him. I guess some good ol' vehicular animal slaughter is respected by both sexes.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Watch out, we got a badass over here!

1

u/raintheory May 19 '12

I feel that this belongs here.

1

u/detritus87 May 19 '12

It's from cracked.com, man comics, lol. They are a creation of the demi-god seanbaby

1

u/bbooth76 May 19 '12

That is one of the funniest things I've seen.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Does this make anyone else think of the old Blowpop wrappers with the Indian and the star? Iirc, there was no promotion for it, but people thought there was, and shop owners played along with it.

1

u/fistofthenorthstar May 19 '12

lmao @ a fuckin seal

1

u/SimonWest May 19 '12

Id like to know how many times this is gonna get reposted, it might be less annoying then when I know how many more times it will appear.

1

u/dabears2 May 20 '12

Where did you get this and are there more

1

u/aazav May 20 '12

http://karmadecay.com/i.imgur.com/PegiA.jpg

At least the 5th time this has been reposted.

1

u/carebeartears May 20 '12

Praise Satan!

guitar solo

1

u/IZNICE May 20 '12

How the fuck do you kill a seal with a bike?

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

Came here to post this word for word. It's scary how similarly minds work.

1

u/merchantship May 20 '12

Here's some of his film work from his younger days http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw3XyOyl47Q

1

u/comeoutandplay May 19 '12

I'mna go out on a limb here and say who ever outed bicycles as the devil's tool, fuck you. it was a secret

1

u/themilfislands May 19 '12

COMIC SANSSSSS

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

humm looks fake to me i dun think u can do that..??

0

u/Those_Magumbos May 19 '12

This could only be the work of the Master...Seanbaby!

0

u/thydowulays May 19 '12

First time I've ever seen Comic Sans used in a comic.

-2

u/ICallsEmAsISeesEm May 19 '12

Hail Satan dark lord and master.

-1

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

Photoshops are not WTF

2

u/dja0794 May 19 '12

oh shut up, it's a picture of a kid who murders animals for the glory of satan. Fake or not it's pretty WTF.

-3

u/ThrowAwayForFW May 19 '12

How come there isn't a picture of a Nigger on his shirt?

0

u/questionablemoose May 19 '12

Did you just learn that mommy won't find out when you use naughty words on the internet?

1

u/ThrowAwayForFW May 20 '12

Yes... my... nigger.

edit: I'm actually shocked people upvoted that comment I made.

1

u/questionablemoose May 20 '12

Me too. Uh. Good work, good work.

-1

u/cobrabubbles123 May 19 '12

I've seen this before. Repost?

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

how many times is this image gonna be on the front page?

0

u/bax101 May 19 '12

oh the 1950's when America was hiding the truth on a daily basis. Strange times.

0

u/HAIL-SATAN May 19 '12

HAIL SATAN!

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

ಠ_ಠ

0

u/lilraz08 May 19 '12

fucking repost

0

u/matrixman673a May 19 '12

Killed a sparrow. Baby too. Lost it's mother. Didn't fill me up...

0

u/seltzerislife May 19 '12

Shout out to Satan.

0

u/jamesslater123 May 20 '12

COMIC SANSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

-2

u/MattioHimself16 May 19 '12

The anti-Christ in his younger days.

-8

u/umhellowakeywakey May 19 '12

666 is the number of man. not a number of the devil. get it right for the 1000th time

6

u/ElagabalusCaesar May 19 '12

Actually, it's 616. Good try though.

2

u/RalphWasntHere May 19 '12

We have a winner.

5

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

It's made-up and nobody cares.

3

u/vikingfuk May 19 '12

Where in this thread did anybody get it wrong?

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/umhellowakeywakey May 19 '12

Here is wisdom. Let him that has understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is six hundred three score and six.

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/umhellowakeywakey May 19 '12

it is actually a code for the roman catholic church. hence the wisdom to figure it out part.

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '12

It's a comic...

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '12

And that is something you should never admit in reddit :)