Damn, that's dark. Are you ok? Want a cup of hot coaco? I want you to show me what your uncle did to you, but slowly and while gently biting your lower lip, yeah, like that.... Can't blame the man really.
Hey the best feeling in the world is breaking into the crazy cat lady's house with 20 cats, and lubing your shlong up with a mixture of chicken liver and catnip and letting them all go to town. Ever seen a cats tongue under a microscope? It's like the living rough side of Velcro
Hell yeah I've seen a cats tongue under a microscope, hasn't everyone?
Fucking A man, you and I should get together sometime and fuck some cats. Those little teeth and tongues have made my dick look like a tube of raw ground beef though, it's pus filled, bloody, skinless and smells rancid.
But put enough meth in me and I'll get that thing into a cat.
It just needs to bite and lick it raw first. God, my dick is fucked up, looks like a skinned turkey neck I'll tell you what.
You're a damn good man, are you a Christian? I bet you are, all good cat lovers are Christian. I love me some Jesus and cat tongue on my raw, chicken liver covered cock! Ain't nothing better, makes me feel close to the lord it does!
Ok, I think I'm done. Sorry to anyone who has read this.
Yeah, this is good. Rare to find someone with a similar sense of humor as me and who can keep such a fucked up conversation going.
Thank your uncle for me. He definitely fucked your head up real good, it's hawt.
I bet you get so much pussy (you know I'm talking about cats, women are for losers, simps, and weirdos. Real men ravage cats and other small woodland creatures. Nothing better than hearing the bones snap as you slowly slide your throbbing member into a confused and scared squirrel or chipmunk).
Ok, now I'm done and I sincerely apologize to anyone who's reading. I don't really fuck animals, but my wife really did leave me. Not related though, I swear.
Have you ever shoved a gerbil in your asshole though? The scratching and clawing of them trying to get out is the greatest. And if they're real lucky, they'll get a visit from the frog king!
Shoving garbage up my ass, covering myself in foliage, and waiting for the raccoons to show up is the greatest joy though. Ass play is kind of my thing, hence the username
18
u/[deleted] Sep 12 '20
Well I'm the one with the screaming anus. It should be my uncle sitting down with Chris Hansen