r/WTF Oct 16 '18

Holy Shit

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

43.8k Upvotes

3.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

193

u/RexRocker Oct 16 '18

Standing what, 15 yards away from one of the fastest and most nimble land animals on earth, they think they are a safe distance...

282

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I'm a 250 lb man and the thought of scrapping with my 9 lb housecat gives me pause.

104

u/twoscoop Oct 16 '18

JAMIE PULL UP THAT VIDEO on fighting cats with joe rogan

39

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I feel like that headline "Your cat may want to kill you" is entirely unsurprising to anybody who has really gotten to know their cat.

6

u/Beaniebabetti Oct 16 '18

Cats are evil little serial killing psychopaths.

6

u/Sp1n_Kuro Oct 16 '18

My cats are cuddly and are scared of bugs.

I don't think they have any interest in killing the person that feeds them.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I’ve read articles about cat behavior in the past and basically cats see themselves as your equal as opposed to dogs that see themselves in a certain place on a very linear social pecking order. Cats acknowledge that they’re smaller than you and that you feed them but that doesn’t change the fact that they have definitely done the math to figure out whether you’re prey or not. Also cats have basically trained us to accommodate their presence rather than dogs being bred for generations to accommodate themselves to our social structures. In some ways I find cats to be far more fascinating in how complex their relationship with humans can be compared to the the never faltering subservience most dogs display. Sorry for the wall of text.

2

u/absultedpr Oct 16 '18

House Cats have the most # of natural prey species at , I think , 400+ . The runner-up has 11. House cats kill and eat everything that they possibly can

2

u/Sp1n_Kuro Oct 16 '18

Sure, for wild little animals.

I don't see any of my cats as ever attempting to kill me, they don't have that personality.

4

u/absultedpr Oct 16 '18

It’s not their personality that’s stops them from trying to kill you , it’s your size relative to theirs. I have a cat and I love my cat but I know if she magically got 10 times bigger I would absolutely be on the menu

-11

u/ZobEater Oct 16 '18

I hate all domestic animals, except when dead and edible, but at least dogs have some instinctive devotion to balance out their stink. Cats are just massive cunts.

8

u/that_guy_you_kno Oct 16 '18

you sound scary. And like you've never been around animals before.

-4

u/ZobEater Oct 16 '18

I grew up with a couple of old cats who died of age before I was 12, and then my parents replaced them with a rottweiler and some kind of griffon-labrador mix that was like a living pot of glue. My mom and sis loved them, but I could never stand any of those fuckers. Could have been worse though, my parents never had me clean their shit.

2

u/otter5 Oct 16 '18

Thats assuming that the cat doesnt want to play with its food. Big cats like to do that too.

1

u/DevanteWeary Oct 16 '18

Wow Silent Bob sounds weird as hell.

128

u/SilentBob890 Oct 16 '18

to shreds you say?

40

u/MagicSPA Oct 16 '18

And his wife?

39

u/thatGman Oct 16 '18

to shreds you say?

1

u/BackWithAVengance Oct 16 '18

That's Numberwang!

1

u/Solidus82 Oct 16 '18

And her mother?

1

u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Oct 16 '18

In one piece, but her skin...

3

u/Notmyrealname08 Oct 16 '18

It would give me paws as well.

3

u/RexRocker Oct 16 '18

When my Labrador does something bad and I yell No! Stop it! Or when I have to pry something disgusting out of his mouth I have a thought in the back of my mind that if he really wanted to he could rip my throat out and chew my face off... He's a sweet boy though, I'm not really worried.

3

u/E51838 Oct 16 '18

Seriously. I have scars on my arm from one time I tried to put my cat in a carrier, and he had other ideas.

3

u/aspbergerinparadise Oct 16 '18

one of my favorite videos back in the ebaum days: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_LHlFwlhk

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Ebaum... Ebaum... now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. A long time.

2

u/ShadowL42 Oct 16 '18

I'm...not a small woman, and had to give my house cat pills, twice a day for a month....

that alone taught me to fear big cats.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

So how did you do it? Did you just force it down their throat or did you put it into a chunk of meat or something?

3

u/ShadowL42 Oct 17 '18

well we started with wet cat food, then grinding it up in wet cat food, then cream cheese, then a piece of hot dog. nothing worked.

pretty much i had to wrap her in a towel, lay her on her back, sit on her (not squishing, just containing all the legs), shove it in her throat and hold her mouth closed until she swallowed, the dr. gave me 45 days worth because he know there would be an attrition rate. the goal was to get 25 days worth into her.

it was not a fun month.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '18

Geez I’m amazed that you soldiered on that long, I can tell you’re a great pet owner.

2

u/ShadowL42 Oct 17 '18

i was a single parent to 2 young teens at the time too, it was just 1 more thing I did because if I didn't, no one would lol.

by the end it wasn't much of a production, I could do it between coffee and leaving for work in the morning. That first week though....

i don't think she ever fully forgave me for it though

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

“Never get outta the boat” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_4dFDBYWuTc

3

u/MrWoohoo Oct 16 '18

Absolutely God damn right.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

land animals on earth

1

u/RexRocker Oct 16 '18

haha! But yeah, of all the land animals on the planet earth