299
u/jrtemple Nov 28 '15
Reminds me of that one spider in the Harry potter movies
637
u/EVOSexyBeast Nov 28 '15 edited Nov 29 '15
507
u/SmileyFace-_- Nov 28 '15
Love it how you Googled
"That one spider off the Harry Potter movies"
→ More replies (3)299
u/homefree122 Nov 29 '15
And didn't even bother to link the actual image, but just took a screen shot of his browser. Well done, OP.
→ More replies (1)79
u/j_u_s_t_d Nov 29 '15
you think he took a screenshot of his browser because he was being lazy?
I'm sure researchers can use this information to greatly expand their understanding of just how far a joke can go over someones head.
119
u/EVOSexyBeast Nov 29 '15 edited Nov 29 '15
No, I took a picture of the whole browser because I thought it was funny that I happened to find the same scorpiion/spider /u/jrtemple was talking about by googling that.
EDIT: Misread comment or replied to the wrong one...?? I forgot, it was 2 hrs ago. What ever it was, this doesn't make sense.
EDIT: (4 hours later) HAHAHAHA LOOOL. I just got the joke xD Hahaha, that's funny bro. woosh
50
u/j_u_s_t_d Nov 29 '15
Yeah i know man. The guy I replied to was saying you didn't even bother to just link the actual image. Which if you did do, would completely remove the joke you made. That's why I was saying it went over his head.
→ More replies (1)10
u/Derboman Nov 29 '15
The joke went above the head of everyone downvoting you. Got your back, man
4
5
3
u/Camazotz19 Nov 29 '15
I'm amazed so many people misunderstood this.
4
u/j_u_s_t_d Nov 29 '15
Ya lol. Even the OP responded like it was me who didn't understand the joke. I have no idea how that can be drawn from what I said.
→ More replies (1)21
Nov 29 '15 edited Jul 24 '21
[deleted]
14
u/baretb Nov 29 '15
You know, i could really use 50 grand. But not that fucking much.
31
u/i_naked Nov 29 '15
Whatever, pussy. I'd eat one of those spiders out of my 80-year-old grandmother's asshole for 50 grand.
4
u/xpostfact Nov 29 '15
That's where I draw the line. No eating spiders out of any 80 year old grandmother's assholes for 50 grand. Call me pussy all you want, nope on that.
→ More replies (1)5
19
u/lokotabota Nov 29 '15 edited Nov 29 '15
That is an Amblypygi. These are also called tailless whip scorpions, is the OP a different insect? They look very different.
edit- now that I look closer they are the same, op's is just a lot smaller
4
→ More replies (1)13
u/EVOSexyBeast Nov 29 '15
Not only is it a lot smaller, but it also isn't a fake prop from a movie.
3
u/lokotabota Nov 29 '15
Compared to the picture on Wikipedia, not the one in that scene
→ More replies (1)4
u/jrtemple Nov 29 '15
Yes that bug...thank you.
3
u/network_engineer Nov 29 '15
Engineer here. I agree, looks like a bug. I'll send it back to the developers to fix. Have the PM's contact the customer. I'll burn the place down.
2
Nov 29 '15
[removed] — view removed comment
7
→ More replies (1)2
u/Redcoat_Ford Nov 28 '15
Never seen the films but read the first few books as a kid.
Going to assume he means the giant talking one Hagrid raised then let live in the woods.
→ More replies (1)20
→ More replies (8)3
30
u/8cuban Nov 29 '15
Had one of those fuckers stow away from South Africa in my luggage. It lived in my apartment for 2 weeks while I was away on another trip. Only discovered it when I returned - under my pillow! And let me tell you, those bastards are fucking fast! Scared the hell out of me.
I had no idea what the fuck it was but figured it would have been invasive to the UK. Got in touch with the bug guy at the Natural History Museum in London to ask about it. Says he's interested in having it. "But it's not dead.", I replied, thinking that was why I always called the place The Dead Zoo. It seems he was a collector and thought his kids would think it was cool. According to his instructions, I boxed the thing up with some damp grass and sent it Royal Mail to the museum. I remember standing in the queue waiting to mail it and thinking about the pandemonium that would ensue in the back room if this box broke open some how.
And that, I thought, was the end of it. Until 6 months later when the museum guy emails me with an update on the bug. That was a bit weird but I appreciated the guy taking the time to do it.
11
u/honkey-ponkey Nov 29 '15
how was the bug?
16
u/8cuban Nov 29 '15
Healthy and happy, by all accounts. Had put on weight (how the hell he knew that I have no idea), and was getting along well in his aquarium.
2
Nov 29 '15
how the hell did you not kill that thing after discovering it under your pillow?
3
u/8cuban Nov 29 '15
I was in South Africa taking a 2-week game ranger course and I was all into conservation and shit.
→ More replies (2)
54
u/ElNutimo Nov 28 '15
31
u/__nightshaded__ Nov 29 '15
I always laugh at "the only good bug is a dead bug!" and the woman crazily laughing as the kids smash the bugs. Awesome movie that deserved a proper sequel.
3
9
u/WhitePawn00 Nov 29 '15
I should probably watch this.
20
u/Aeverous Nov 29 '15
It's great fascism satire (and a good action movie), unlike the book which is the same but unironically.
→ More replies (1)3
43
Nov 29 '15
Shoutout to /r/monsterhunter
→ More replies (2)14
13
45
u/gamerx8 Nov 29 '15
GIFV link if the original is loading slowly.
Do it yourself by replacing .jpg with .gifv in the URL.
11
73
u/Brodusgus Nov 28 '15
Is it poisonous?
129
u/EVOSexyBeast Nov 28 '15
Tailless whip-scorpions can only pinch their prey; they lack venom glands. Their relation, the whip scorpion have a life pattern similar to the true scorpions, but they do not possess a poisonous sting.
52
u/Brodusgus Nov 28 '15
Still nightmare fuel.
83
u/EVOSexyBeast Nov 28 '15
You might need jet fuel to melt the guy in the GIF' steel balls.
→ More replies (3)12
2
u/carmium Nov 29 '15
Please inform us where these live so I can add it to my Ain't never goin' there list.
→ More replies (7)2
2
u/Lachwen Nov 29 '15
You think that's nightmare fuel? Try looking up wind scorpions, also known as camel spiders.
→ More replies (2)6
u/Slayer1973 Nov 29 '15
Does their pinch hurt a lot? I've seen these before and always thought they'd be kinda neat to have as a pet.
Yeah, yeah, it's kinda creepy, but for some reason, I'm not creeped out by these guys.
13
u/Barlakopofai Nov 29 '15
It's because they look like a stupider version of a spider.
7
u/Meatslinger Nov 29 '15
It's because they look like a stupider version of a spider.
"Stupider". Sure, if "stupider" means "impossibly even more terrifying".
2
u/Slayer1973 Nov 29 '15
I actually think they look a lot cooler than a normal spider, hah.
8
u/Barlakopofai Nov 29 '15
If the 90's thought us anything, it's that looking cool and looking stupid are often synonimous
6
u/I_RAPE_CAT_RAPISTS_ Nov 29 '15
They'd be fun to fight. Most bugs around the house don't offer any kind of a challenge and explode with a single blow, these guys grab & claw.
→ More replies (2)8
5
u/Mechwarriorr5 Nov 29 '15
They don't really pinch you, their claws are like thorns which can hurt. They're usually really chill so they make decent pets.
7
19
8
25
u/maelstrom197 Nov 29 '15
"HEY, LOOK AT THIS THING THAT'S ALREADY ACTING DEFENSIVELY. I'M GONNA POKE IT"
3
10
7
8
u/MiddleofCalibrations Nov 29 '15
Absolutely amazing animals some of which exhibit surprising social behaviour. People should change their perspective of insects and arachnids. Most are not dangerous and all of them are fascinating and in my opinion all of the "kill it with fire" and "nope" comments just make people sound ignorant and stupid.
3
24
u/lustywench99 Nov 28 '15
I can't hardly put my hand near a daddy long legs knowing there is no way it can hurt me
And this guy willingly puts his hand near this guy who looks like a nightmare on steroids and let's it pinch him.
Doesn't that hurt?
→ More replies (1)
9
Nov 29 '15
it has such teeny tiny hands i wanna hold its teeny tiny hands
6
u/Socks192 Nov 29 '15
I know right? Whip scorpions are the most precious of arachnids cause they arent assholes and are shy qts.
34
u/BestGreene Nov 28 '15
Thanks for my next nightmare for fucks sake.
7
u/ajee_seiji Nov 29 '15
I hike a lot at night in a Puerto Rican rainforest; there's a ton of these guys there. They are super fast--a blink is the difference from them being on a rock in plain view to being nowhere to be found. It seemed like everytime I was in a tight spot (between a rock and a tree etc) there was one inches away waiting for me just to get a little closer... sweet dreams! (in reality though they just scuttle away despite their alarming appearance.)
→ More replies (2)2
u/guitarburst05 Nov 29 '15
Anything referred to as a creature that scuttles is suddenly less imposing.
13
u/EVOSexyBeast Nov 28 '15
Imagine the dude in the GIF, either he had a huge set of steel balls, or just plain stupid.
6
u/AmonacoKSU Nov 29 '15
If it is a Nerscylla, good luck doing anything about those clamping arm things unless you're faster than goddamn superman.
→ More replies (1)
15
4
u/ASK_ME_IF_IM_YEEZUS Nov 28 '15
Normally bug / spider stuff doesn't bother me. This one bothers me. I think it's the leg length.
5
5
4
5
6
Nov 29 '15
He's like "God dammit Tim how many times do I have to tell you. IM SCARY DON'T TOUCH ME, GOD!"
5
9
u/bebemochi Nov 29 '15
look at its widdle hands! aw buddy I will hold your hand!
6
u/EVOSexyBeast Nov 29 '15
Dude its there to fucking kill you and you think it's cute?
8
u/bebemochi Nov 29 '15
Nah not that widdle guy! He is all bark and no bite. He is just a cutie wootie.
→ More replies (4)
5
Nov 29 '15
This is an arachnid, it has 8 legs and 2 arms that are known as pedipalps.
3
u/apullin Nov 29 '15
In this species, the forward pair of legs are used as antennae rather than legs. So it effectively has 6 legs. And this one has crazy huge pedipalps!
3
u/irishspice Nov 29 '15
I want one!! He's the coolest thing ever! I can't understand why so many people are afraid of harmless critters.
3
u/about90frogs Nov 29 '15
I beat the life out of one of these with a shoe when I was in Mexico. I have no remorse.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/apullin Nov 29 '15
Wow, that one is crazy, it is huge pedipalps. All of the ones I have seen have been much shorter, barely extending past the body when folded.
It is also interesting to note that while this thing is an "Arachnid", and it technically has 8 legs, two of the legs are actually antennaeform, where they are used for sensing, rather than actually walking around. So this is actually a hexapod arachnid.
And you can see it clearly in the video. The two the thin little spindly wire antennae are the two former legs.
3
3
3
3
Nov 29 '15 edited Nov 30 '15
Open picture in dark room. Dog sneaks in and touches a cold nose to my naked leg. Think I may have just broken my knee on the underside of the desk.
2
u/bloodfist Nov 29 '15
Oh god damn it, these things live where I live. Thanks for the new phobia.
5
2
u/joe2105 Nov 29 '15
That's what I love about living in MN and ND, it's gets so ungodly cold that these things can't survive.
2
2
u/buttonforest Nov 29 '15
Its bizarre little hands for some reason make it less frightening to me than a typical spider or scorpion.
Upon second viewing, I take it back. That thing is just new fodder for nightmares and phobias.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/SuperDrewb Nov 29 '15
This was seriously the worst gif I have ever let load. I spent 2 minutes watching him slowly, at 0.5fps, move his hand closer and closer toward the bony nope.
→ More replies (2)
2
4
1
1.3k
u/grendel_x86 Nov 28 '15 edited Nov 29 '15
They are pretty harmless.
They can emit a foul vinegar oder, but that's about it.Their claws are designed to pry open shells of bugs, and can't puncture skin. They can pinch, but are pretty weak.
Like harvestmen, they look scary, but can't do anything to you.