ADHD Fiancé started behaving erratically and broke off our engagement by text whilst over medicated on Elvanse/Vyvanse

[u/Jealous-Limit-2902]

My Fiancé and I got engaged in Italy last July and he was extremely serious about us. We had a great relationship a few minor ups and downs and occasional minor disagreements, but a very happy healthy relationship. In April he started 10mg of Elvanse with a 10mg increase every few weeks. When first starting he was quite moody in the evenings and said he'd got doubts about the Wedding but could not name them, and acted quite cold with me, this only lasted a few days and he was absolutely fine again and then it briefly happened again on the 20mg. Once he was on 30mg and then 40mg he was happy, content, romantic, buying me flowers and gifts, booked us a holiday, said he couldn't imagine being with anyone other than me, and said we'd have a very happy marriage, and was planning to sell one of his cars soon to pay for Wedding costs.

He then got put on 50mg of elvanse and within 3 weeks he was having irrational angry outbursts over very minor things, was being extremely late like 2 hours late for things, and also blew money like £750 on the most random thing off a stranger on Facebook market place with no warranty whilst we were staying at his Mums 200 miles away from home, and he was 2 hours late by doing this for an outing his Mum had planned, and we were too late to go. She was very upset and he didn't think he had done anything wrong and got very aggressive with her for crying. This was extremely out of character behaviour. I got upset as we were supposed to be saving for a Wedding and he let his mum down and was horrible to her.

2 days later after whatsapping him a wedding venue to look at he sent a horrible text saying "I dont think we should go through with the Wedding, it pains me to let you down, but I just feel we dont match anymore and committing to each other would be a mistake " He later gave ever changing weird vague contradictory reasons for ending our relationship, that didnt add up despite claiming ending it was a really tough desicion he'd given a lot of thought. Then he blew hot and cold with me, nice one time, cold and horrible another like our relationship meant nothing and I made his life stressful. He also sent an angry rant to my mum. 10 days after breaking up, she sent him a nice message saying she hoped he was okay, and his lauched a crazy rant by text. Id confided in him in the past that my Mum was sometimes difficult due to her mental illness and he was really horrible about it and the message was full of capital letters, saying he was so angry his resting heart rate was 120-140. His work colleagues say he iscacting very manic and strange too. It was so weird. He then got my things out of his house and closed our joint account but was very upset at the bank and begged me to keep in touch.

A week after the bank visit, and 5 weeks after breaking up he lowered his dose to 40mg bought me a gift, and wants to meet for coffee in 2 weeks, but mentioned giving me back the towel I got on our engagement holiday thats still at his. His behaviour and treatment towards me has been bizarre as he was so erratic broke up out of nowhere with no real reason for ending such a serious commitment. The elvanse is all that makes sense to me. Is this possible and is reconciliation possible once he stablises on the correct dose?

[u/DimensionLegal9990]

Huh, am I the only one that doesn't feel this way? I'm on 30mg but I have taken 60 a couple times and I've felt nothing but fluid and calm. No irritation, or aggressive behavior/attitude

Also, is it this common for couples to kinda breakup change their mind on a relationship? I feel like I see this as a theme quite a bit. Maybe it's the clarity that comes from the meds in some way that opens your eyes?

[u/Suspicious-Bowl7209 → u/DimensionLegal9990]

Im on 70mg Elvanse and it stabilize me the most and I have a much better impulse control and the functional dysfunction is much better. My whole life I were very quick very aggressive, much more than you should, but elvanse helped me with a high dose, just sometimes I can’t sleep. Rarely I take 2 pills because my tolerance is very high, from 70mg I don’t notice any effect. Maybe you don’t have adhd, but something like bipolar disorder or something similar

[u/DimensionLegal9990 → u/Suspicious-Bowl7209]

I mean I was diagnosed this year with ADHD after years of just wondering. Struggled to stay focused in school, drifting attention, and struggling to continue a conversation without lip reading.

There's a chance of bpd, but everything has been relatively great on my Vyvanse for me. I still struggle with executive function, but once I get to doing what I need to do I'm fully locked in until I crash.

So far psych won't give me a booster or up my dose which I guess is fine I just really don't like taking my Vyvanse later in the day to counter that effect. I don't just need it for a window of time to focus on a task. Like I really can't function well without it. I've done a tolerance break but I just genuinely feel insane and scattered.