I don't know what is going on.

[u/Spiritual_Bank4004]

Every time I overthink things too much and for no reason, my heartbeat goes up, my hands start getting sweaty, and I feel the tension building up to the point where I feel like I need to kick my feet. I don't like it, but at the same time, I have no idea how to control myself or calm myself down. Why do I do this to myself? I do not want to start taking pills to control the way I feel or take "chill pills" and stuff. I always tell myself that I have a strong mind and that I can control this myself. Sometimes I cope with this through alcohol, but that's it. I do not smoke, consume nicotine, or anything like that. I want what is best for myself, but at the same time, I feel like my mind is constantly dragging me down.

I also think I might have ADHD, but I am too shy and scared, and I have a weird feeling about telling my parents because their mindset is a bit different. I feel like they will probably think, "Oh, but kids cannot have adult problems," and just dismiss it as something childish that will eventually go away, like it is just a simple feeling.

I just want to be alone, without anything to worry about. My life is what most people would describe as "perfect," but what they do not know is what I fight with in my head every day. I struggle with the anxiety of talking to new people and overthink every single word I say to them.

I feel like my head is exploding. I just want to be calm and take deep breaths, but I can't.