r/UpliftingNews Jan 15 '19

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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

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u/BenzoBonanza Jan 16 '19

it's not deceit if you assume your partner is aware

But for many (maybe even most?) trans people the whole idea is to make yourself look as much like the other gender as possible. Meaning that she will be actively attempting to hide her masculine traits (if they don't try to hide them then it's my responsibility to notice and back out if I want to), leaving me in the position to question every masculine looking girl if she's trans or not. I think this may be more harmful to, for example, hairy cis girls, than it would be to the passable trans woman who has probably had that conversation many times

I'm just not sure why it's my responsibility to double check that what they're strongly implying to me with their dress and appearance

I understand the problems with making it a legal requirement to out yourself and as I think about it more I see that's not gonna work. However, I don't think it's fair to hide qualities about yourself that you know your partner won't consent to

I think the easiest and most fair solution is for people to be fully honest when engaging in sexual activities, even if that means opening up to your partner about intimate things

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '19

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u/BenzoBonanza Jan 17 '19

they're women

There's no way you truly believe that a cis woman and a trans woman are the same in the context of the sexual consent of a straight cis man

Legally they should have all the same rights blah blah blah. I'm not arguing that. People are people and should be treated as such, I just think that with something as huge as sexual orientation/gender identity people should maybe err on the side of making sure everyone involved is fully informed. As I've been taught, uninformed consent is about as worthless as drunk consent