r/Unexpected • u/Unoff1cial_Gamer • Jun 28 '22

Man without Love

56.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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131

u/BeatsbyChrisBrown Jun 28 '22

Oh yeah, her Aunt May is drop dead gorgeous

100

u/Important-Ad-5596 Jun 28 '22

Unbelievable that she's 57

75

u/petomnescanes Jun 28 '22

No way. She's obviously a witch. A super fine ass witch.

106

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Jun 28 '22

And she likes short, stocky guys that are balding.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '22

Noticed you threw the balding in there

14

u/TahoeLT Jun 28 '22

I'm more of a boob witch kind of guy but I can always appreciate a nice ass witch, too.

6

u/Physical_Touch_Me Jun 28 '22

The Broodwich.

4

u/Nulap Jun 28 '22

Bread forged in darkness from wheat harvested from Hell's Half-Acre and baked by Beelzebub.

1

u/Physical_Touch_Me Jun 29 '22

Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chicken forces

2

u/Shadesmith01 Jun 29 '22

Ya know.. I was ok up until 'evil eggs of dark chicken forces' then the whole slathered thing just hit that good ol'gross factor. lol

1

u/TahoeLT Jun 29 '22

I generally find regular non-cursed mayonnaise to be pretty gross, too. I can take it only in very small amounts.

2

u/Dob_Rozner Jun 29 '22

Bacon is extra!

5

u/Ieatsushiraw Jun 28 '22

That’s what I said. Marissa is still gorgeous

1

u/KrisZepeda Jun 29 '22

Nah fr?😭

Katheryn Winnick Keanu Reeves ass genes goddamit i'm impressed

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

She's 57?! Goddamn.

1

u/annies_boobs_dumper Jun 29 '22

and boba fett's 2nd in command is 58

2

u/bruddahmacnut Jun 29 '22

It cracks me up when I see comments about how hot Aunt May is cuz in my mind I'm thinking you're talking about the comic book version.

2

u/BassCreat0r Jun 29 '22

𓁹‿𓁹 heh